Quote:
Originally posted by
Mwar
Disposition and character comes from a lot of things, but some main factors are: environment, family, and genetics.
That being said, do you think kids, and in some cases adults, are too "soft?" By soft I mean: are they able to stand
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Disposition and character comes from a lot of things, but some main factors are: environment, family, and genetics.
That being said, do you think kids, and in some cases adults, are too "soft?" By soft I mean: are they able to stand up for themselves? Are they able to fall, scrape the dirt off their knee and get back up? Are they able to strive to be independent at the correct time? And do they let crap roll off their backs? Has this changed among the generations or over time?
Or, am I just a hard ass and had hard ass parents? I'm curious. Also, do you think your degree of hardness or softness comes from where you grew up?
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Tough, but good questions! I personally grew up with a good middle between hard ass and soft. I can't say my parents were ever really soft. We tell each other we love each other daily and always have, but when it came to crying or being sympathetic, we did not get that. My parents quickly let us know that they "don't feel sorry for you." LOL. Not in a bad way though, but I feel like on some occasions, a little more empathy would've been appreciated. It did not effect me much, I'm pretty sensitive and kind-hearted all around. I'm the most kind hearted in my family, besides one of my grandmothers (my dad's mom). Everyone else in my family have way harder hearts than me.
I wouldn't say I'm without backbone, I'm a pretty good middle though. I am extremely empathetic towards others and am a soft heart, but I wouldn't say I'm "soft" to the point of not being able to take care of myself properly or allow others to hurt me. I can stand my ground, but you're usually going to see the really nice, understanding, kind hearted side of me.
I don't know though, I think an extreme of either side (soft or hard) will effect a kid. A good middle more than likely won't, but there are definitely other contributing factors to how a child will grow up. It would also depend on how they've been treated and personal experience along the way, but I honestly think God creates how emapthetic and soft hearted a person is. They're few and far between and special, in my opinion. Not soft people who can't get through, take care of themselves or adapt, but soft-hearted people.
Then there are parts of me that are sort of intolerable and that is genetics, I think. The things I absolutely won't tolerate, the things that get me raging and all, those are totally from my family. We all are so alike in that area. But my family can really cut you down with words. I'm not like that yet and hope I never will be. They're also generous and kind too though.
I'm the kind of person who doesn't get upset easily over what others do or say to me, but there's a limit. For me in that area, when it rains it pours. Lol.
So I'd have to say your "hardness" level totally depends on how, who, where, etc. How you've had to live to get by. How you were/have been treated, what kind of experiences you've had with people/realtionships in general and genetics. I think it all has a role. But I also think you can change SOME things. Things like how you treat others due to your hard or softness. Those can be worked on.