The New Intimacy

The 6 Most Insane Crash Diets of All Time

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Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
"When we say, "all time," we mean it. The news talks about obesity like it's a recent epidemic, but the truth is that fat people have existed throughout recorded history. Without modern inventions, people in earlier times had to work 10 times harder to get fat, but the extraordinary men and women of those eras persevered and managed, in many cases, to achieve spectacular obesity.
For as long as that has happened, those people have searched for ways to shed the pounds while avoiding "exercise and a sensible diet" at all costs. As you'll see, often it would have been better to just stay fat."

I had heard of a few things listed in this article before reading it, but seeing all of these together on one list makes me wonder why the hell we think being super skinny is the ultimate beautiful? If you're skinny on your own, that's fantastic, but if you're plus sized, I think that's fantastic too. It really is amazing what lengths some people will go through to lose weight. I know there are other crash diets that aren't on this list, but I want to see what ones you would add to it.
12/27/2011
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Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Cabbage Soup Diet - all the cabbage soup you can stand, with random food rules (day one: any kind of fruit except bananas; day two: no fruit, but lots of veggies; day four: skim milk and bananas; day five: first taste of meat). Low calorie intake means dizziness, and cabbage means gas. Still going strong after several decades - they have a website.

Grapefruit Diet - half a grapefruit or 8oz. juice before every meal for twelve days. Also heavy protein for breakfast, with lots of salad and meat for lunch and dinner. No fiber. You'll average out to eating eighteen grapefruit during one round of the diet. I suppose those Miracle Fruit tablets could help with the sourness.

Master Cleanse - aka Beyonce's Diet. A cocktail of lemon juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper for every meal - and NOTHING else - for ten days. No fiber, no protein, no vitamins. Requires willpower or a pre-existing condition of anorexia to work.

Fast Food Diet - 80% eating right, 20% at the drive-thru. Premise is that deprivation will derail any diet, so keep the cravings happy instead of denying them. Still adds too much sugar, salt, and fat.

Hollywood Cookie Diet - replace breakfast and lunch with one specially formulated cookie each, then eat a healthy dinner. Honestly, who the hell can eat just ONE cookie in a four/six hour period??

Baby Food Diet - eat small portions (one jar) of additive-free food. Likely a distant relative of the Fletcher Diet since you really don't have to chew your food.

Anyone remember fen-phen diet pills?
12/27/2011
Contributor: Peggi Peggi
Huh. As pleasant as these sound I'll stay fat thanks.
12/27/2011
Contributor: True Pleasures True Pleasures
Ugh.. My mom and grandma were on the cabbage soup diet. It smelled SOOOOO BAAAAD....
12/27/2011
Contributor: T&A1987 T&A1987
there's always getting a tapeworm from creed.


(Creed): that wasn't a tapeworm.
12/27/2011
Contributor: Cherry21 Cherry21
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
"When we say, "all time," we mean it. The news talks about obesity like it's a recent epidemic, but the truth is that fat people have existed throughout recorded history. Without modern inventions, people in earlier times had to ... more
ugh, these are all crazy! I could never stick to any of them, and doubt many others can either!
12/27/2011
Contributor: dawnkye dawnkye
I found this particularly hilarious: "You know who eats a bland, strict diet? Sailors."

The Apple Diet: You only eat apples. I think you can eat all the apples you want though. The premise may be that ... how can you not get sick of apples and just stop eating altogether!
12/27/2011
Contributor: namelesschaos namelesschaos
I have a bachelors in dietetics and nutrition so I knew 5 of these didn't know about Elvis and sleeping beauty.
12/27/2011
Contributor: GenderSexplorations GenderSexplorations
Wow. You really have to wonder how people come up with some of these things. I'll go the slow route, thanks.
12/27/2011