when your husband wants to become a women

Contributor: nancylanier nancylanier
my husband wants to become a women and when i found out i left him was it wrong of me to do so or should i of tryed to work it out with him even though i want to be with a man not a women?
10/06/2011
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Contributor: Ghost Ghost
Well, it was wrong of you not to use punctuation anyway. But in any case, it's impossible for us to pass judgement with such little information.
10/06/2011
Contributor: Kkay Kkay
Ultimately what you can and cannot handle in a relationship comes down to you. It's not really for someone else to step up and say if your actions were right or wrong.
10/06/2011
Contributor: Ciao. Ciao.
As someone who identifies as trans (but has no plans to make a full medical transition), I don't think you did the wrong thing. If a partner decides to transition it is a long process and a difficult one to deal with no matter what your orientation and sexual preferences are.

Sure it's possible that given enough time you could have come to a degree of acceptance, but transition I think is rightfully a decision that can cause a spouse to end a relationship. Tough choice either way.
10/06/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
It depends on you, I suppose. Although, in my opinion, it proves that the two of you weren't right for each other, one way or another.
10/06/2011
Contributor: dayne dayne
I say u did the right thing......
10/06/2011
Contributor: Sex'и'Violence Sex'и'Violence
You definitely did the right thing.
10/06/2011
Contributor: Rawhide Rawhide
It's a very nuanced situation. I don't think it is possible for a stranger to judge what is the right course of action.

Based on the limited information, I would say that if you want to be with a man and your husband no longer identifies as a man, then you have yourself a dealbreaker.

However, the fact that you are still asking yourself this after leaving might mean you should reconsider. Gender transition is one of the hardest changes a relationship can survive, but it can be done.

But those issues aside, you say you "found out". How did you find out? Was your husband hiding this from you, and has he accepted it himself? Did he ever plan to tell you or take steps towards transition? Those are important questions concerning the integrity of your communication, which is far more important than the actual information you uncovered.
10/07/2011
Contributor: nancylanier nancylanier
Quote:
Originally posted by Rawhide
It's a very nuanced situation. I don't think it is possible for a stranger to judge what is the right course of action.

Based on the limited information, I would say that if you want to be with a man and your husband no longer ... more
i found out 7months after we had our first and only child together and he knew this about him self before we had got married but waited to share the info with me
10/08/2011
Contributor: emilia emilia
It is not for us to pass judgement on you but I hope you can still be friends with your EX.
10/13/2011