The New Intimacy

What would you like to tell younger trans* folk?

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Contributor: thisisadeletedaccount thisisadeletedaccount
I'm trans* and genderqueer, and one of my partners is bigender. She recently met and started talking to a younger person who is gender questioning and could use some support in the process. My partner and I have been talking to each other about what we feel it's important/useful to share with our younger friend about our experiences of gender.

My question is this: What sort of things would you like younger trans* and gender questioning folks to learn from you? What do you know that you feel is important to share about gender and trans*-ness?
07/24/2012
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Contributor: K101 K101
I don't know. What exactly do you mean by what experiences should you share with them? I don't know. I have a younger family member whom I raise full time on and off (switching between parents) and it's tough, yes. I have a tough time because I personally can't truly know what it feels like since I am straight. That doesn't mean I don't have great advice and such though, so I just reassure him when necessary and make sure he knows that we love him just the same. No big deal. But like I said, he's still in the figuring it out process. Barely even a teen so it's totally different.

Now, as for your friend, it kinda depends on what they need. I guess I'm no help. Sorry. I wish I had something more useful to say, but I really don't know. I guess just do what you're doing -- welcome them with open arms?

I guess you can only give them so much advice and then they have to figure out their very own feelings. Any gender will have different feelings no matter what they identify with. For instance, just because I am straight, doesn't mean another married couple will have the same issues as me. I would just think the person needs to hear how it felt for you guys and what emotions you battled with, how you got through the tough parts and so on.
07/24/2012
Contributor: Boyqueen Boyqueen
Being rather young myself I don't have a whole lot of information to pass on or wise words. But if I could tell my younger self anything, I'd tell them that it's okay to question yourself. It's okay to identify as a few things and that later on if that changes, then that's okay too. Identity can be fluid. And that how you identify does not police how you must act.
07/24/2012
Contributor: GONE! GONE!
I would tell trans* people younger than myself not to be ashamed of who they are and don't be apologetic about who you are like I am. No one should be ashamed or feel like they're causing a fuss just by demanding respect and dignity.
07/24/2012
Contributor: thisisadeletedaccount thisisadeletedaccount
Quote:
Originally posted by K101
I don't know. What exactly do you mean by what experiences should you share with them? I don't know. I have a younger family member whom I raise full time on and off (switching between parents) and it's tough, yes. I have a tough time ... more
Yeah, that's pretty much what I've been trying to do - let them know how we've gotten through tough times and answered what questions they have. I was just kind of curious to hear if anyone else has had experience in unofficial mentor roles like this, and what it's been like for them.
07/25/2012
Contributor: Nick816 Nick816
Exploring gender is a great way to figure out how you best identify. There's nothing wrong with being trans*, there's nothing wrong with being cis. The world has a lot of misconceptions. Do your research. Make peace with your gender. Gender identity may shift occasionally. People will still love you.
07/29/2012
Contributor: VanillaFreeSex VanillaFreeSex
I'm 38, and i will admit that many of the 20-somethings i have talked to are more likely to understand better than myelf
08/11/2012
Contributor: VanillaFreeSex VanillaFreeSex
Quote:
Originally posted by VanillaFreeSex
I'm 38, and i will admit that many of the 20-somethings i have talked to are more likely to understand better than myelf
that would be mySELF, i do not have an elf
08/11/2012
Contributor: GenderSexplorations GenderSexplorations
Quote:
Originally posted by GONE!
I would tell trans* people younger than myself not to be ashamed of who they are and don't be apologetic about who you are like I am. No one should be ashamed or feel like they're causing a fuss just by demanding respect and dignity.
I utterly and completely agree with this. In its entirety. Be who you are and don't let the haters get you down.
08/11/2012
Contributor: TheParrishism TheParrishism
Don't be afraid to take your time and explore. It's ok to question. Don't rush yourself to an answer.
08/13/2012