The missing Sexuality Radar.

Contributor: Genderfree Genderfree
I am in the middle of my transition and I can not tell if people are into me. At this point, I still look very female, but am always using male restrooms, my male name and male pronouns. I have not yet started Testosterone. I can never tell if the people who are hitting on me are hitting on me because they don't quite get that I'm male or if they actually like me or if they are just being friendly. Honestly, I am uncomfortable about most cis-males/females because of it, because it seems like either way there will be no way they would be into me.
11/12/2012
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Contributor: TheParrishism TheParrishism
I have never been good at telling if someone was into me. I just don't see it if they don't make it obvious.
11/13/2012
Contributor: WhoopieDoo WhoopieDoo
I am pretty androgynous in appearance and I have issues like this as well. If someone is hitting on me, I'm in complete denial over it, thinking they're just being nice. It's virtually impossible for me to tell if someone is flirting with me without them telling me or making it BLATANTLY obvious (at which point it's really past flirting, isn't it?). I feel like most people are into folks that are male or female and overtly masculine and feminine, respectively, so where do I fit into the scheme of things?
11/13/2012
Contributor: RonLee RonLee
I'm CIS male and usually cannot tell if someone is hitting on me either. If you could really tell before and not anymore that sounds like you're more indistinguishable from most of the rest of us guys now.
11/13/2012
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Quote:
Originally posted by TheParrishism
I have never been good at telling if someone was into me. I just don't see it if they don't make it obvious.
This.

I can imagine how your position makes it difficult. Best of luck
11/13/2012
Contributor: Andrew1992 Andrew1992
I have similar problems. I can never tell if someone is into me, or just trying to figure out what pronoun to use haha.
11/13/2012
Contributor: Genderfree Genderfree
Funny story: I met a woman at the University who is a few years older than me. We were both talking about our recent break-ups and how needy women were! I kept thinking, "what if she's into me?" and then, "what if she's not bi, but just a lesbian, and into me?"

I'm out to her, but still, how confusing is that? o_O;
11/15/2012
Contributor: RonLee RonLee
Quote:
Originally posted by Genderfree
Funny story: I met a woman at the University who is a few years older than me. We were both talking about our recent break-ups and how needy women were! I kept thinking, "what if she's into me?" and then, "what if she's not bi, ... more
My heart goes out to you buddy.
But I'm so happy that I'm partnered and don't have to deal with that kind of confusion now.
11/15/2012
Contributor: GONE! GONE!
I feel the same way. It freaks me out. I don't care too much if lesbians hit on me but straight guys... Ouch I do not like that at all.
11/16/2012
Contributor: cricket cricket
Weirddd
11/16/2012
Contributor: Genderfree Genderfree
I finally got to ask a girl out that I knew in highschool who was bi. Man, it's such a relief when the person you're asking out is bi because then I don't have to worry too much about my gender!
11/28/2012
Contributor: eroticmutt eroticmutt
Quote:
Originally posted by Genderfree
I am in the middle of my transition and I can not tell if people are into me. At this point, I still look very female, but am always using male restrooms, my male name and male pronouns. I have not yet started Testosterone. I can never tell if the ... more
I actually know a good number of people who have been into me, knowing I am trans at all (though I am stealth in day to day life) so while there may be a bit less people, they're still out there, especially in the more fun and diverse groups. (S/M people, furries, toy lovers, and just general accepting folks).

I found that even before T a lot of people knew I was a guy, and now it's almost unanimous though my voice is a pain in the rear sometimes and can be a problem.

One thing I have found, it's wayyyy harder to know if a girl is into you than a guy. Men are more straightforward and I have been told by friends that chicks were hitting on me when I thought they were being rude! It's crazy, but a lot of girls do that teasing thing and I am amazed anyone can figure it out, but I guess that comes with experience.

From what my buddies say, a girl giving you a lot of attention, even if it does seem like teasing, generally likes you. Kinda backwards but at least there's something to go by.
11/30/2012
Contributor: Genderfree Genderfree
Quote:
Originally posted by eroticmutt
I actually know a good number of people who have been into me, knowing I am trans at all (though I am stealth in day to day life) so while there may be a bit less people, they're still out there, especially in the more fun and diverse groups. ... more
Wow, I never thought about that, but that makes sense. That's probably why I think there are more guys into me than girls.
12/02/2012