The New Intimacy

The Better Man... Woman

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Contributor: Pink Kitty Pink Kitty
Alright so one of my friends brothers is a transgender (Born male, dresses female, wants a sex change), he is 15 almost 16 now. His mom found out when he was 14. He had been dressing like a girl since he was 10 apparently. I mean I had always noticed that he was rather effeminate.

He goes to school like this. I mean not in dresses and stuff, he is too scared, and rightfully understandably so, high school kids can be VICIOUS! No the most brazen thing he has done is worn a tube top to school. He said his favourite store was Justice (a teen/ tween girls clothing store). Now one day while he was at school his dad found some things that were female like. And I guess a pair of panties. He actually kicked him out of the house.

My friend (his brother) is now housing him in his apartment. Mommy and daddy are divorced. Mommy is SOMEWHAT ok with it, but it's like "dont ask dont tell."

The kid's confiding in me, is there any advice I can give him other than the cliche "Be yourself?"
02/29/2012
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Contributor: underHim underHim
Quote:
Originally posted by Pink Kitty
Alright so one of my friends brothers is a transgender (Born male, dresses female, wants a sex change), he is 15 almost 16 now. His mom found out when he was 14. He had been dressing like a girl since he was 10 apparently. I mean I had always noticed ... more
Almost as important as be yourself, find others like yourself to talk to, online is great. Get him an Eden account!
02/29/2012
Contributor: Pink Kitty Pink Kitty
Quote:
Originally posted by underHim
Almost as important as be yourself, find others like yourself to talk to, online is great. Get him an Eden account!
he is only 15.
02/29/2012
Contributor: GONE! GONE!
Just... Tell her (Yes, HER based off your description.) to hang on for now, do what she can to make herself feel good and be treated the way she wants to be treated without causing a huge problem and that she'll get to be herself in every way someday soon.
02/29/2012
Contributor: xGOLDx xGOLDx
Help her get involved with the local trans community. Having someone to talk to that has gone though a similar situation can a great relief in helping her feel comfortable and accepted. Also, just be a friend and supportive for her right now. There are lots of great online resources for trans youth. Not sure where you guys are from, but here is a site that may help.

link
02/29/2012
Contributor: tern tern
Respect her for who she is, stop using male pronouns, and help her get the resources she needs to be happy, healthy, and educated.

Being skeptical of a transgender person's identity due to their young age is the worst thing you can possibly do, and it sounds like she's had it figured out for a while.

If she trusts you to confide in you, and you care about her, you should do what you can to help her cope with the struggle of being born in the wrong skin. It's a long, tiring road to being able to transition and be seen as who you actually are, and without people to help you along, you might give up.

If you're not willing to do more, at least respect her in person. Give her support, be there to hear her out when she confides in you. And really, the male pronouns are incredibly inappropriate being as she's come out to you as female. She's a girl. Regard her that way.
03/01/2012