The New Intimacy

Pleasing my partner

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Contributor: Crackpot Crackpot
What are some creative ways to please my MTF SO? She doesn't like to use her penis at all anymore and says she's perfectly happy just to please me (cis woman). Since she is in the very beginning stages of transition though I can't imagine an extended period of time of no gratification at all. Anyone have any suggestions that might pique her interest?
07/01/2013
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Contributor: edeneve edeneve
if the 2 of you have had a sincere talk about this & your SO is really being honest, accept that she's perfectly happy to just please you. as long as communication about this stays open, she just may tell you sometime in the future she's changed her mind. for now, accept her gift. sometimes it's very difficult to be a receiver w/o giving anything back. you can learn to be a loving appreciative receiver w/o having to be giving back. accept her unselfish loving gift.
07/01/2013
Contributor: needapacker needapacker
Due to dysphoria, a lot of trans people are more givers than recievers. That's not necessarily a bad thing. I myself am perfectly happy with just pleasing my partner. I get off on him getting off. Like edeneve said, accept her gift. Maybe someday she will decide she's comfortable with you doing things to her but for now she's not, so let it be.
07/01/2013
Contributor: Crackpot Crackpot
Ok thanks for the advice. I just feel so guilty and selfish. I guess as long as she knows that I'm willing that's the important part and I won't press the issue
07/02/2013
Contributor: a.moon19 a.moon19
Try talking to her, if she really isn't into it- respect that. Kissing, making out, hickies and just plain touching everywhere above the waistline- all of this can be a mega turn on. The build up could help when you're finally able to please her.
09/23/2013
Contributor: eroticmutt eroticmutt
If you want to do something nice for her, let her please you since she says that she wants to, and go ahead and give her a nice massage with lotion or oil, maybe take a bath together or even massage her feet. Just let her close her eyes and relax. Light some candles, maybe get her a nice silk nightie or something comfortable and pretty.

Let her be your pampered queen for a night and I am sure that she will thank you plenty, without doing anything that makes her uncomfortable
11/04/2013