Self explanatory. What if they seriously have a problem seeing you that way, and aren't doing it out of spite? What if they use no pronouns altogether, as a compromise?
How many of you really get offended by people who refuse to use your preferred pronouns?
09/21/2012
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I get offended when they are doing it out of spite. No pronouns is fine with me, if they're that pissy about using the right ones.
09/21/2012
It's pretty damn offensive. I'd never refuse to use someone's correct pronouns, neither should anyone else, whether you're uncomfortable or not it's an issue of respect.
09/21/2012
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Completely agree.
Originally posted by
butts
It's pretty damn offensive. I'd never refuse to use someone's correct pronouns, neither should anyone else, whether you're uncomfortable or not it's an issue of respect.
Even when people slip up and say "that's my girl" or something, I still get offended. Not like raging mad or anything, but I like people to consider their choice of words..
09/21/2012
I'm offended but i rarely say anything, I'm too shy.
09/22/2012
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Well, I personally am not GLBT or anything, but have a family member who is. I wanted to say something anyways though I think a lot of us who mistakenly use the wrong word, it's an honest mistake. I always try to do whatever pleases people, but you know, we all sometimes slip up. It can be hard on this side too.
Originally posted by
Kenneth Fort
Self explanatory. What if they seriously have a problem seeing you that way, and aren't doing it out of spite? What if they use no pronouns altogether, as a compromise?
However, my family member doesn't care either way. He answers to both! He's mostly just like "call me whatever you want to." It's nice because we are often walking around on tip toes because we don't want to say the wrong/offensive thing. Ya know?
Doing it to be rude? I've never encountered that, never known anyone to actually do that to any trans intending to be hateful. I certainly wouldn't call someone by the wrong thing just to anger them. Sounds frustrating to deal with that though.
09/22/2012
I can forgive an honest mistake, but if they know and are being reminded, I won't accept excuses like "Oh but you're still my baby sister to me!" "Oh you'll always be my little girl" even though I've specifically said to not call me that, then yeah I get upset and offended.
09/30/2012
If someone refused to call me by my preferred pronoun, chances are I don't value their opinion and they aren't worth my time, so it wouldn't anger/hurt me.
09/30/2012
I have a handful of trans friends though I'm not trans myself. I'm pretty quick to correct folks who use the wrong pronouns for my friends. If someone is doing it because they honestly don't know or realize or simply by mistake, like a slip up, or out of habit because they knew the person before they come out, it's one thing and I'll gently remind them. If they're doing it deliberately, if they're someone who is around us a lot, I'll have a serious conversation with them and explain that what they are doing is hurtful and damaging and if they don't care, then they don't belong in my social circle. If it's a misunderstanding or an honest mistake, most people will respond to gentle correction and an explanation or reminder about how hurtful it is to the person being mislabeled.
10/01/2012
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Anyone unwilling or unable to see me for who I am is not someone I need in my life. It does not matter to me whether or not it is out of spite. It is a matter of respect and if someone thinks using my name constantly in place of a pronoun is a compromise, that's a dead wrong assumption.
Originally posted by
Kenneth Fort
Self explanatory. What if they seriously have a problem seeing you that way, and aren't doing it out of spite? What if they use no pronouns altogether, as a compromise?
10/02/2012
My parents are the only people I've told who outright won't use the correct name/pronouns and after being gone for 3 months and returning I've realized that is a major factor in my depression.
11/16/2012
it's just a part of having basic respect for a person; it's one thing to slip up once in a while, but if it's a consistent thing then that's a pretty clear sign that you don't respect someone enough to refer to them the way they want you to. this stuff really isn't that complicated.
11/17/2012
The only friends I really give a pass to on my name/pronouns are the ones with developmental disabilities, and both of them have been making serious efforts to get them right recently so I feel like everyone else has no excuse. I don't mind people avoiding pronouns altogether at all; it's purposely using the pronouns I don't like that bugs me.
11/21/2012
If they are purposefully doing it, I tend to just cut them out of my life. I don't really have room for that.
11/21/2012
As far as my family goes, I talk to them minimally because they still haven't got their heads around it. Though I have brought peace to that by only seeing them about three times since moving out.
For someone else, say someone assuming me to be the wrong gender not even someone I know, I will very forcefully correct them, and that seems to always do the trick.
If I am at work, and it's over the phone, I just ignore it.
Someone using no pronouns at all is perfectly fine. I am happy with that.
For someone else, say someone assuming me to be the wrong gender not even someone I know, I will very forcefully correct them, and that seems to always do the trick.
If I am at work, and it's over the phone, I just ignore it.
Someone using no pronouns at all is perfectly fine. I am happy with that.
11/27/2012
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i havent had to deal with that in quite some time, but i would not associate with anyon e who would not use the proper pronouns for me.
Originally posted by
Kenneth Fort
Self explanatory. What if they seriously have a problem seeing you that way, and aren't doing it out of spite? What if they use no pronouns altogether, as a compromise?
11/27/2012
It's offensive because why should a tran* person have to sacrifice their feelings and who they are just to accommodate some cis person who doesn't "see them as" their gender.
I'd be really pissed and probably need to have a serious discussion with anyone who used the wrong pronouns ever. It's really not okay.
I'd be really pissed and probably need to have a serious discussion with anyone who used the wrong pronouns ever. It's really not okay.
11/27/2012
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It's educational. People fear what they don't understand; fear leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. Yes, it sucks now. BUT you're making it better one person at a time for future trans* people.
Originally posted by
Robespierrethecat
It's offensive because why should a tran* person have to sacrifice their feelings and who they are just to accommodate some cis person who doesn't "see them as" their gender.
I'd be really pissed and probably need to have ... more
I'd be really pissed and probably need to have ... more
It's offensive because why should a tran* person have to sacrifice their feelings and who they are just to accommodate some cis person who doesn't "see them as" their gender.
I'd be really pissed and probably need to have a serious discussion with anyone who used the wrong pronouns ever. It's really not okay. less
I'd be really pissed and probably need to have a serious discussion with anyone who used the wrong pronouns ever. It's really not okay. less
Let's face it, there's no good way the question "What is your gender?" to come across. What if you ask a masculine looking bio-female which gender pronoun they prefer. What if they're really sensitive about the fact they are a woman who looks like a guy? See, now you look like an insensitive arse for offending someone with over-sensitive sensitivity.
Learn a person's name, address them by that.
11/28/2012
I used to get offended,then I removed the people from my life who were doing it just to aggravate me. I still have people that mis-pronoun me all the time but I've made a point of surrounding myself with understanding people so I have no problem saying something about it, I'll correct random strangers in public too but I'm never mean about it.
11/28/2012
It's more hurtful and saddening than offensive to me. I face it a lot (especially from my LGBTQ friends) but I'm usually too shy to stand up for myself and correct them.
11/29/2012
It's a matter of respect for me. If I'm totally sure that someone respects my gender I really don't mind if they slip up, tease me, call me pretty, or anything else for that matter. If someone is doing it out of spite or blatant disrepesct, it's absolutely offensive.
11/30/2012
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i'm with you all - if it's out of spite, that's a different story...
Originally posted by
Kenneth Fort
Self explanatory. What if they seriously have a problem seeing you that way, and aren't doing it out of spite? What if they use no pronouns altogether, as a compromise?
12/02/2012
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I agree with this so much.
Originally posted by
butts
It's pretty damn offensive. I'd never refuse to use someone's correct pronouns, neither should anyone else, whether you're uncomfortable or not it's an issue of respect.
12/13/2012
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No pronouns is not really an ok compromise in my book. The only one I let get away with that is my mom.
Originally posted by
Kenneth Fort
Self explanatory. What if they seriously have a problem seeing you that way, and aren't doing it out of spite? What if they use no pronouns altogether, as a compromise?
12/13/2012
Total posts: 24
Unique posters: 23