Do you ever forget you're trans?

Contributor: lukas24 lukas24
Sometimes when I'm at home or thinking about stuff I completely forget that I'm trans and not out to everyone. So I'll think stuff and then have to go: "oh wait, they, for some unimaginable reason still think I'm a girl" I think this might just be because I'm on spring break so I don't always have to pretend for school but it's been happening more often and it's a bit disconcerting and extremely dysphoria-inducing when I remember...
03/17/2012
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Contributor: Ciao. Ciao.
I don't think that's too uncommon of an experience, and probably is just a really good sign that your gender identity is something that's becoming almost totally invisible to you. Maybe it's time to come out to the rest of the world, so you don't have to "pretend"
03/17/2012
Contributor: MasonJ MasonJ
Quote:
Originally posted by Ciao.
I don't think that's too uncommon of an experience, and probably is just a really good sign that your gender identity is something that's becoming almost totally invisible to you. Maybe it's time to come out to the rest of the world, ... more
Good point. I agree. It's important to remember that trans* isn't all we are...there's so much more to our identities.
03/17/2012
Contributor: lukas24 lukas24
Yeah, to me it almost seems as if a lot of trans* people focus solely on it. So, I was kind of wondering of others felt the same. the only bad part is that my dysphoris skyrockets sometimes - not fun. Otherwise, school...9 weeks left.
03/18/2012
Contributor: u u
Yes, I do, but really only in private places. The moment I think of leaving a house, I ask myself several questions: Do I want to be seen as a little boy in public, or a butch woman? Do I need to put my binder on again, or should I give my chest a rest and just wear a concealing jacket? Should I look in the mirror and wash myself up to feel less dysphoric about my face before I go, or let it go because it's only a short walk?

Then, when I am outside, I hardly forget because of the mixed signals I get from others. I'm always observing other people to see what kind of person they judge me to be. There are the young lesbians who recognize what a bound chest looks like and attempt to flirt with me, and the old lesbians who grin at me for existing, and the mothers and fathers who smile because I remind them of their kid and am so darn adorable, the little boys who are jealous because I am allowed to do the grown up things all on my own and their parents won't let them, the people who recognize me and need a conversation topic so they whisper to their friends about how that guy over there is actually a freakish girl, the strangers who see me as a young teen boy and immediately get filled with disgust when they realize I'm not, and the list just goes on and on. I cannot forget I am trans in public when I am alone. With friends, it's easier.
03/18/2012
Contributor: pestilence pestilence
When I'm at home and putzing around on the internet, I often forget. Occasionally in public I'll get confused for a moment if I'm about to use the restroom, or if someone's flirting with me, but then I'll snap into reality after a moment.
03/18/2012
Contributor: TheParrishism TheParrishism
I often forget because it isn't something which concerns me until I am reminded about it. It isn't as though my trans status haunts my every thought.
03/19/2012
Contributor: scaredlittleboy scaredlittleboy
I might forget every once in a while when I'm alone.
03/19/2012
Contributor: lukas24 lukas24
Quote:
Originally posted by u
Yes, I do, but really only in private places. The moment I think of leaving a house, I ask myself several questions: Do I want to be seen as a little boy in public, or a butch woman? Do I need to put my binder on again, or should I give my chest a ... more
That last paragraph!! I am so fed up with guys younger than me telling me talking to me as "little man" or "buddy". Ugh. Yeah, I only forget when I'm comfortably at home - and then I constantly have to remember I can't just stroll out without a tshirt or even just a tshirt.

It's nice to see so many others who feel similar to me. Sometimes, on tumblr especially, it seems as if lots of people focus solely on them being trans.
03/20/2012
Contributor: hjtee hjtee
I always forget that my husband is trans. Actually, now that I'm thinking, I don't even think of him as anything-he's just my husband.
03/20/2012
Contributor: MistressDandelion MistressDandelion
I tend to forget quite a lot I don't really have a cock. Sometimes I look down and have a mini-heart attack because it's gone. But then I remember. I think the only moments I remember is when I have to use my "real name" or when people call me miss.
03/23/2012
Contributor: butts butts
It happens to a lot of people haha. Definitely happens to me sometimes. Especially in dreams, I'll have a male chest, wake up, and be like OH SHIT WHAT IS THIS for a split second.
03/24/2012
Contributor: TransMarc TransMarc
I always forget I'm trans, and then everytime I go out people call me "miss", "she", "the/that girl", use feminized words (I live in France), use my birth name or ask to know it or flirt with me. Very dysphoria inducing, I'm happy to learn others are in the same situation.
03/28/2012
Contributor: Voir Voir
Quote:
Originally posted by MasonJ
Good point. I agree. It's important to remember that trans* isn't all we are...there's so much more to our identities.
I agree with this.

I don't think of myself as Trans as an identifier. Regardless of what I may have to go through to physically feel like me or make other people acknowledge a part of me they don't want to, I'm still just me I don't identify myself by such things just that it happens to be a part of myself...
03/29/2012
Contributor: MasonM MasonM
Quote:
Originally posted by lukas24
Sometimes when I'm at home or thinking about stuff I completely forget that I'm trans and not out to everyone. So I'll think stuff and then have to go: "oh wait, they, for some unimaginable reason still think I'm a girl" I ... more
I sometimes have to stop myself from posting things on Facebook because I'm not out to my family and while I would love to share the information with friends that I am out to, it would cause a lot of awkward questions.
03/30/2012