The New Intimacy

Depression and sex...

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Contributor: Genderfree Genderfree
Can't find a good place to put this.

I know a lot of trans people have a few skeletons in their closet when it comes to love making. How do you get past them?

Myself, if it's not my dysphoria, it's memories from a tragic sexual experience. I've cried in the middle of sex, but my girlfriend is great about holding me until I'm settled down. I don't think she understands, but I don't think I do, either.
10/10/2012
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Contributor: Mwar Mwar
I would consider going to counseling. No one is ever less for going to talk to someone, if anything, it makes you a stronger person. Maybe they could help you out.

Good luck!
10/11/2012
Contributor: Genderfree Genderfree
I have been going to counseling for some time, but I have not yet found a suitable coping strategy for such a situation. I have coping strategies for every other situation except for during a sexual situation. My counselor doesn't know, either...
10/11/2012
Contributor: alistair alistair
I've had one incident myself and because I'm not sure if I'm ready with myself to be intimate with someone else I don't do it often which makes my gf sexually frustrated
10/15/2012
Contributor: Genderfree Genderfree
My GF has the opposite issue... she wishes I would slow down with the sex sometimes. It's just that I'm fine if I am penetrating her, but I have certain triggers while being dominated: being blindfolded and them touching my breasts (sometimes).
10/16/2012
Contributor: Jaxxie Lifeless Jaxxie Lifeless
keep exploring your inner self and youll find a way around this. it might take time, but in the end its worth it
10/16/2012
Contributor: artist-eyes artist-eyes
Quote:
Originally posted by Genderfree
My GF has the opposite issue... she wishes I would slow down with the sex sometimes. It's just that I'm fine if I am penetrating her, but I have certain triggers while being dominated: being blindfolded and them touching my breasts (sometimes).
When ever I'm dating a women, Their complaint is that I want to have sex too much. The most reaction I say, is least I'm willing to come to you for my need', I have had a bad past with having too much sexual experiences. That caused to affect me to this present day. witch then affect every relationship I have. Iv have learned to maintain my craving's for sex. and when I'm getting to the bursting point, My girl completes my need's.

I had to go to a lot's of therapy for year's and it's never been the fully answer for myself. Yet just telling myself that I'm scared a banned by a lover at the time........
01/14/2013
Contributor: RedKyuubi RedKyuubi
There can be huge issues caused my mental disease on sexual functions, and on relationships in general.

I think seeing a counselor is awesome.

The only other advice I have is to just be very open in your relationship and understanding and to just find a solution that works best for you.
01/14/2013
Contributor: bog bog
Quote:
Originally posted by Genderfree
Can't find a good place to put this.

I know a lot of trans people have a few skeletons in their closet when it comes to love making. How do you get past them?

Myself, if it's not my dysphoria, it's memories from a tragic ... more
I think meditation has helped me snap out of that nasty place sometimes. Other times, embarrassment regarding the timing of flashbacks consumes me. I work on believing my partner(s) when they hug me and tell me they love me for who I am.
01/18/2013
Contributor: LoganAshlee. LoganAshlee.
Every single time I've had sex I've been hammered. Can't remember much of it but it helps XD
01/21/2013
Contributor: needapacker needapacker
I'm slowly getting better about sex. I used to break down crying a lot when i had sex. My boyfriend understands, and he's really good about it.
I think it's gotten better since I've learned my limits. For me, there's some things i really like but it's like a 50/50 chance that it will trigger my dysphoria, so until i can better handle it, i just dont do those things.
01/21/2013