The New Intimacy

Would you consider going back into the closest as a transgender.....

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Contributor: XzombehxbearzX XzombehxbearzX
Would you, I mean if you couldnt fit in or find love?
09/04/2011
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Contributor: Peggi Peggi
Although I am not Transgendered, I do have a comment... I think that not telling your partner about something like this is just like lying...I've been put in the situation where I dated someone who didn't tell me, and I broke up with them BECAUSE they didn't tell me, and I found out other ways, but I have no problem dating anyone in the TG community. I think that there is someone out there for everyone who will love you for every good thing about you and even the flaws, you just have to find that person and honesty is the only way you will.
09/04/2011
Contributor: lzbncrckhead lzbncrckhead
oh no no no, at least i surely hope i wouldn’t. I believe that there is somebody out there for every one. Just stay true to yourself and be honest with people
09/07/2011
Contributor: TboyTy TboyTy
Quote:
Originally posted by XzombehxbearzX
Would you, I mean if you couldnt fit in or find love?
In a way I have. I am completely stealth at work and very quiet about it outside of work. It makes life easier, and helps not loose any more jobs over bigotry.

I do have a solid rule about people I'm romantically/sexually interested in though. My rule is that I will tell you I'm trans before I even kiss you. As terrifying as it can be to not do so is to remove their right to say no.
09/10/2011
Contributor: RonLee RonLee
My GF lives "stealth" only a few of our friends "know".
11/01/2011
Contributor: adam71 adam71
nope
10/08/2012
Contributor: freud13 freud13
My former partner was mostly stealth, but before we ever started talking even he was very upfront in letting me know that he was trans. I hope that no one who is trans would go back into the closet. It's important to be who you are. There are so many people out there in the world who will love you for who you are.
10/08/2012
Contributor: VanillaFreeSex VanillaFreeSex
but you are who you are regardless of whether you have a partner or not.
10/08/2012
Contributor: Genderfree Genderfree
I wouldn't go back into the closet! I'm not ashamed to admit I am who I am. I mean, I wouldn't introduce myself as such, but if someone asked a question, I would answer truthfully about my history! It's part of who I am, and there is nothing wrong with me being born female, because I am more comfortable now.
10/08/2012
Contributor: DarthTaco DarthTaco
For me to go back into the closet, there would have to be some sort of situation where my government is trying to execute me or lock me up or something XP. Coming out the first time was hard enough, I can't do it again @_@! Living stealth, on the other hand, is a very different situation. Regardless, whatever partner at the time will be informed of my trans status. If I don't, they'll eventually notice the lack of penis.
10/09/2012
Contributor: tiniest bird tiniest bird
I pretty much am in the closet aside from with a few friends - it just makes things easier.
10/09/2012
Contributor: Kristopher Sean Kristopher Sean
no im happy being me now. family/frnds dont like oh well
10/11/2012
Contributor: maxwe maxwe
Quote:
Originally posted by XzombehxbearzX
Would you, I mean if you couldnt fit in or find love?
nah
10/15/2012
Contributor: LoganAshlee. LoganAshlee.
I actually did for a couple weeks, and I regretted it straight away. I told people that after living for a couple months as male that it wasn't for me, but I was doing it to get my ex back. It didn't work out with him and now that's left me fucked & trying to explain things to everyone again, who now think it's a phase /:
03/15/2013
Contributor: Roxen Roxen
No, how can I expect anyone to love me if I don't love myself? I was miserable in the closet.
03/16/2013
Contributor: Ilmenskie Ilmenskie
I'm growing facial hair so kind of too late now!
03/16/2013
Contributor: needapacker needapacker
Quote:
Originally posted by XzombehxbearzX
Would you, I mean if you couldnt fit in or find love?
Nope. for me it was transition or die.
03/17/2013
Contributor: needapacker needapacker
Quote:
Originally posted by Peggi
Although I am not Transgendered, I do have a comment... I think that not telling your partner about something like this is just like lying...I've been put in the situation where I dated someone who didn't tell me, and I broke up with them ... more
It's not lying and no one should have to disclose. Your birth sex should not be relevant at all and people should be allowed to let their partner know when they are ready. If someone broke up with me because I didn't tell them then I wouldn't want to be with them because they don't get it. Disclosure is a personal choice. I'm not proud of my condition and I'm not going to tell a partner as soon as we start getting romantically involved. Once things get sexual disclosure should be given more thought but you still shouldn't have to. I have asthma too but i don't tell that to every potential partner i have.
Non disclosure =/= to lying. I am a man. Saying I am a man is not a lie.
03/17/2013
Contributor: Mediumsizedman Mediumsizedman
Quote:
Originally posted by needapacker
It's not lying and no one should have to disclose. Your birth sex should not be relevant at all and people should be allowed to let their partner know when they are ready. If someone broke up with me because I didn't tell them then I ... more
This 100%. Cis people seem to think we owe them something in the way of information about our pasts. Hell, there are even trans people out there who think we should disclose the moment we meet someone who we may become romantically involved with.
03/19/2013
Contributor: Mediumsizedman Mediumsizedman
Quote:
Originally posted by needapacker
Nope. for me it was transition or die.
Yep. I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life than live a lie to have a unsatisfying relationship (which it would be if I was living a lie in a relationship).
03/19/2013