The New Intimacy

Children and Transgendered

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Contributor: Diabolical Kitty Diabolical Kitty
Ok here is my story:

I'm a single mom of 3 kids. My partner is transgendered MtF and my children know all about it. They have seen her go from "him" to "her" and they love her all the same. My mother knows that I'm with a transgendered female and has no problems with her.

Now, being a parent, would you explain to your children about the transgendered issue that is with your partner or would you just leave it alone and let them grow up thinking it's normal?
08/14/2011
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Contributor: Booktease Booktease
Quote:
Originally posted by Diabolical Kitty
Ok here is my story:

I'm a single mom of 3 kids. My partner is transgendered MtF and my children know all about it. They have seen her go from "him" to "her" and they love her all the same. My mother knows that I'm ... more
I think that some explanation is probably helpful, but it shouldn't necessarily go too far. Depending, particularly, on the age of the children. The explanation can be more detailed as the child grows up. Of course, letting the kid grow up thinking its 'normal' seems exactly right. I would assume that your partner would liked to be thought of as normal.
08/14/2011
Contributor: Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
explanation is good because kids can get confused and it's better that you explain it to them then some lunatic that might not understand trans issues. but yeah, the idea of it being normal is totally awesome and very necessary
08/14/2011
Contributor: GenderSexplorations GenderSexplorations
I think it's good to arm children with some knowledge about what the society at large thinks of transpeople, so they know how to react to any small-minded comments. But really, most kids love their parents no matter what, so I don't think any detailed explanation is needed. Besides, kids (especially younger ones) aren't shy. If they have a question, they'll ask it.
08/14/2011
Contributor: Diabolical Kitty Diabolical Kitty
You all rock for helping me make this decision. I hope to get some more answers to this.
08/15/2011
Contributor: Peggi Peggi
Quote:
Originally posted by GenderSexplorations
I think it's good to arm children with some knowledge about what the society at large thinks of transpeople, so they know how to react to any small-minded comments. But really, most kids love their parents no matter what, so I don't think any ... more
Couldn't have said it better myself!
08/18/2011
Contributor: MasonM MasonM
Quote:
Originally posted by Diabolical Kitty
Ok here is my story:

I'm a single mom of 3 kids. My partner is transgendered MtF and my children know all about it. They have seen her go from "him" to "her" and they love her all the same. My mother knows that I'm ... more
I'm the transgendered father of two wonderful little boys (twins). They call both my husband and I daddy (and sometimes call us both mommy). They have never been bothered by the fact that I'm transitioning, even if during the first four years of their life they knew me as female primarily.

If they someday ask, I'll explain that it isn't something that every family has as a concern, but that for us, it's normal.
03/08/2012
Contributor: Interesante Interesante
I would explain it to them so that they can get their questions answered, but I would emphasize that it is normal. After all, plenty of other normal things are explained. That's why we have schools, hahah!
03/10/2012
Contributor: Lock Lock
I would only explain it insomuch as they needed to understand that it does NOT make someone abnormal or strange or odd or mock worthy, and it does NOT make them a bad person or unnatural, they're just being who they're meant to be and hurting no one, and that is absolutely fine.
03/12/2012
Contributor: kims89 kims89
I think they def have the right to know. What you actually tell them is totally up the parents. Life is life!
08/28/2012
Contributor: pleasurehunter pleasurehunter
I think as they get a little older you should let them know your thoughts and feelings on how its normal and some people are against it and unfair. not sure if bringing it up a lot would help but letting them know how you feel and rationalize about it will help them grow up to be understanding people and absorb your mindset of acceptance. It's up to the positive and loving people to raise their kids to be loving and accepting ones
08/28/2012
Contributor: MJ7 MJ7
My partner and I have discussed this, since we both want badly to have kids together. Whether my kids will see mommy changing from a her to a him, or whether they will always know me as a male parent, I will be honest with them!

I believe in sharing the truth with children, in age-appropriate terms and doses of course. I might explain to my 5-year-old that I used to be a female and that whether you are a boy or girl is in your mind, not your body parts. I do not believe in teaching kids that boys have penises and girls have vaginas, but rather that everybody has different parts! As that child grows older and comes up with more questions and is better able to process and understand information, I would tell them all they need to know so long as I felt it was appropriate for their age and maturity. I imagine by the time my children are 18 or so, they will know everything they want to know about my gender journey.
09/05/2012
Contributor: sodapin sodapin
Not sure if you'd find this helpful, but here's a 10 minute documentary on trans parents in North America (I believe Canada) and the struggles they've faced. link

It's a good video to watch either way .
09/05/2012