The New Intimacy

Big Thread of Sex, Gender Identities, and Sexuality

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Contributor: Chirple Chirple
This poll is sort of dual-purpose, getting to know other people and also discussing the labels and what they mean to us.

I know I didn't include everything, but I tried to get a good amount in. Also, 42 seemed like a good stopping point.

There are no right or wrong answers. A person can identify as "MtF" and choose virtually any of these answers, they do not have to identify as "Female" or "Transsexual", and they certainly do not have to identify as Femme.

Many people could answer multiples. And, of course, I'd love to hear from anyone who says "Other" to any, if you feel comfortable. And no matter what you choose, too.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I would consider my BODY to be...
61
Female
147
Male
35
Intersex
4
Transsexual
19
Neutrois
4
(my body is) Other
20
My gender presentation / identification could be described as...
58
Femme
88
Butch
22
Transgender
34
Genderqueer
48
Pangender
5
Trigender
Bigender
12
Agender
11
Androgynous
37
(my gender ... is) Other
17
I would describe my sexuality as...
55
Asexual
19
Homosexual
36
Heterosexual
53
Bisexual
37
Polysexual
11
Pansexual
59
-flexible
26
Curious
16
Questioning
10
Other
23
Romantically, I was say that I'm...
46
Aromantic
4
Homoromantic
39
Heteroromantic
58
Biromantic
17
Polyromantic
21
Panromantic
54
Flexibly romantic
19
(romantically) Curious
10
(romantically) Questioning
9
(romantically) Other
11
?Bonus?
18
I identify as Queer
78
Total votes: 1351 (207 voters)
Poll is closed
12/02/2011
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Contributor: Antipova Antipova
My body is female, and I'm heterosexual (attracted to people with penises) and heteroromantic (romantic with people with whom I'm having sex---people with penises).

I'm not really sure what to say as far as gender, though. Seems to me that's how other people perceive me. I just ... am what I am, without any regard for "girls' toys vs boys' toys".
12/02/2011
Contributor: Beck Beck
My body is female, but I consider myself; as of now I might add; as Bigender. I also identify my sexuality as bisexual and I most of voted wrong on the romantic one, because it should be Biromantic.

I had to google all of these. I had no clue what some of them were.
12/02/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
My body is female, I identify as Androgynous Genderqueer (sometimes I swing more toward one gender or the other), I'm Pansexual, and I'm Demisexual (it's part of the grey-a umbrella, I only feel sexual attraction to someone I'm romantically attracted to)
12/02/2011
Contributor: Vanille Vanille
My body is female, I identify as Femme, I'm Demisexual and I'm a Lesbian.
12/02/2011
Contributor: Silverdrop Silverdrop
I'm a female who would like the option of being male maybe 10-20% of the time. Not enough to consider myself trans, though I used to cross dress sometimes when I was young and skinny enough to pass, and I still love to wear a harness and pretend the cock is my own.

I'm 90% attracted to males. When I fantasize about being a man, I imagine myself as a gay man. But on occasion, I've had a girl crush, though it's never gone beyond making out.

I suppose if I had my youth to do over, I'd probably behave a lot more promiscuously and experiment a lot more than I did when I was a college student *cough* years ago. But I'm settled now, happy to keep most of my proclivities in the fantasy and roleplay stage, and very happy to see how far acceptance of alternative lifestyles has come in my lifetime.
12/03/2011
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Wow, that's a heck of a word soup!

Question: Would a straight/hetero guy be "butch" and a straight/hetero woman be "femme"? That kinda confused me.

Thank you for explaining demisexual! I had no idea what that would mean.

A philosophical question though:
In the sex positive world, labels are a double edged sword. Don't assign someone a label based on your perceptions of them, but people are free to assign themselves labels. So...why are there so many?

I really hope I didn't offend anyone! I'm just looking for some education in this area. It's not like you can take a class that covers all of this...can you?
12/03/2011
Contributor: GenderSexplorations GenderSexplorations
I consider myself to be an androgynous transguy who is pansexual but mostly homoromantic. And I definitely consider myself queer.
12/04/2011
Contributor: Peggi Peggi
Born a female, staying a female, attracted to all sexes (pansexual) and bigender!
12/04/2011
Contributor: CoffeeCup CoffeeCup
I am female. I am sexually and romantically attracted to those who are male.

That being said I have always been confused by my own gender. Sometimes I feel like a boy, sometimes I feel like a girl.

Mostly I just feel like a CoffeeCup!
12/04/2011
Contributor: Snozzberries Snozzberries
I'm female but, like Silverdrop said, I would love the opportunity to be male sometimes. I've got a packing dildo on order that I'm going to try wearing, and I have a feeldoe toy in my closet. I would love to be able to switch from female to male (or have both at once) but I'll make due with what I have. Surgery isn't a good plan for me.
12/04/2011
Contributor: kuranta kuranta
I'm biologically female, and I present as either female or androgynous/genderquee r. It really depends on how well I know the person in question, I suppose. For example, my friends are free to use female pronouns for me, but I prefer those who know me less well to use neutral ones. I am attracted to and romantic with people of any/all genders.
12/04/2011
Contributor: zeebot zeebot
I'm female and present myself as female. I'm pansexual & panromantic.
12/05/2011
Contributor: Chirple Chirple
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
Wow, that's a heck of a word soup!

Question: Would a straight/hetero guy be "butch" and a straight/hetero woman be "femme"? That kinda confused me.

Thank you for explaining demisexual! I had no idea what that ... more
For the butch/femme, it doesn't have to be. A straight guy could be femme or a a straight girl could be butch - for the latter, I think that "tomboy" is a good example.


For me, labels are about being able to talk about things. A way for people to get in touch with the idea that there are many ways of experiencing things like love, sexuality, and gender.

I don't think it's particularly important to feel strongly about a label for oneself, but knowing that these concepts exist can be useful - it's something for a person to explore and build off.

I think it can help people find other people like themselves, or at least similar - to know they're not totally weird or alone and find a supportive community to talk to. Just knowing that there are other people out who feel similarly can really help someone who's feeling isolated and alone because people don't talk about these things that often in "normal" society.

That's how I feel about it, at least.


And @AndroAngel, I'm glad you mentioned Demisexual. I can't say anything smarter because I'm still thinking about it.
12/06/2011
Contributor: DeliciousSurprise DeliciousSurprise
Most days, I'm just a girl. Some days, I'm a girl with a cock. Some days I'm femme--high femme, but most days I'm just a girl in dirty converse and a long sweater.

And I like it that way.

12/06/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
I am female, was born female and am straight and only heteromantic and monogamous! Lol
12/06/2011
Contributor: Maxx Maxx
Quote:
Originally posted by Chirple
This poll is sort of dual-purpose, getting to know other people and also discussing the labels and what they mean to us.

I know I didn't include everything, but I tried to get a good amount in. Also, 42 seemed like a good stopping ... more
My body was born female but since I was a kid I always felt male. I have never had second thoughts. I believe my mind and body dont match up. I dont see myself as gay or lesbian. How ever you want to call it. I am FTM and I see myself as male that in attracted to females. So I see myself as straight in a twisted kind of way. If that makes any sense.
12/06/2011
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by Chirple
For the butch/femme, it doesn't have to be. A straight guy could be femme or a a straight girl could be butch - for the latter, I think that "tomboy" is a good example.


For me, labels are about being able to talk about ... more
Well put!
12/06/2011
Contributor: eroticmutt eroticmutt
Quote:
Originally posted by Chirple
This poll is sort of dual-purpose, getting to know other people and also discussing the labels and what they mean to us.

I know I didn't include everything, but I tried to get a good amount in. Also, 42 seemed like a good stopping ... more
Thank you for starting this thread, it has been helpful in bringing up some terms for me and helping me understand certain things better *hugs*
12/06/2011
Contributor: nori nori
great poll! think it's neat to see who EF's demographic is
12/07/2011
Contributor: Sir Sir
My body is male, my gender identity is male, my sexuality is open-minded as is my romanticism. I could care less about a person's gender or physical appearance, if they give me what I need and have the personality that I desire, nothing else matters.

Also, I'm wondering why "masculine" is not an identity type? I do not identify as butch, as butch is actually a feminine term, but I do identify as masculine as opposed to feminine. These are very feminine-specific terms that you used, actually.
12/11/2011
Contributor: Chirple Chirple
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
My body is male, my gender identity is male, my sexuality is open-minded as is my romanticism. I could care less about a person's gender or physical appearance, if they give me what I need and have the personality that I desire, nothing else ... more
I did not know that, perhaps it's a bias from where I'd learned from. I had actually always used butch/femme for all sexes.

I also wonder if it's the sources I learned from or regional, because ever since I was a kid, I'd heard "butch" applied to male-identified-men who were particularly manly.
12/11/2011
Contributor: Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by Chirple
I did not know that, perhaps it's a bias from where I'd learned from. I had actually always used butch/femme for all sexes.

I also wonder if it's the sources I learned from or regional, because ever since I was a kid, I'd heard ... more
While butch CAN be used for either gender identity, it is more commonly used in the lesbian community, and I for one know that I would be damn offended if anyone referred to me as such. Actually, same with the term "femme," though that's starting to branch out to male-identified individuals more recently.
12/11/2011
Contributor: Chirple Chirple
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
While butch CAN be used for either gender identity, it is more commonly used in the lesbian community, and I for one know that I would be damn offended if anyone referred to me as such. Actually, same with the term "femme," though ... more
I do think masculine / feminine are better, more neutral terms. I admit, I haven't been around people who use them often, so they don't immediately jump to my mind yet.

I have seen "femme" used a lot in the gay male community, and now that I think about it, I rarely hear it in the lesbian community around here. Pointless observation. I would be curious about regional variances in "queer" language, though, it seems like it could be interesting.
12/12/2011
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
My body is male, my gender identity is male, my sexuality is open-minded as is my romanticism. I could care less about a person's gender or physical appearance, if they give me what I need and have the personality that I desire, nothing else ... more
I think that last paragraph sums up my perspective as well. You just put my misunderstanding into words.

This has been very educational. Thank you!
12/12/2011
Contributor: shcoo shcoo
Female-bodied, genderqueer, heteroflexible, panromantic.
I try to appear androgynous but to be honest I probably usually look femme.
12/12/2011
Contributor: Snozzberries Snozzberries
I am learning so much from the people here on EF.
So glad I joined. Thanks, everyone.
12/27/2011
Contributor: Nazaress Nazaress
I am female-bodied, I am more femme (though not exactly what you'd call "feminine"), I am bisexual, and I am biromantic. The "bi" part in me is very small, though, as I am mostly a lesbian.
12/27/2011
Contributor: Cherry21 Cherry21
I am female, femme (totally feminine!), I am straight (so far!), and I guess i am heteromantic, if i'm understanding the terms right.
12/27/2011
Contributor: alistair alistair
I am biologically female but I see my body as male, I identify as transgender. I consider myself pansexual so I don't have a specific romantic standing although I am in a heterosexual relationship right now.
01/02/2012