The New Intimacy

Is it ever okay to "out" someone?

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Contributor: Ansley Ansley
I am not a regular reader of Salon.com, but this article happened to catch my eye on an aggregate site and I thought it would be a good topic for the community to discuss.

Why I Outed a Christian Star

In a nutshell, famous writer meets famous Christian Evangelical, they spend the night making out and a year or so later, the writer outs the star. The article explains why he did it, but is there ever a good reason or way to out someone?

Is it really anyone's business in the first place?
07/23/2013
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Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
I am not a regular reader of Salon.com, but this article happened to catch my eye on an aggregate site and I thought it would be a good topic for the community to discuss.

Why I Outed a Christian Star

In a nutshell, famous writer meets ... more
Honestly there is never a good reason to out someone. Not even if they are lying and tearing apart their own lives...it's not your concern. The same applies to telling a person their partner is cheating. IT'S NOT YOUR BUSINESS!

Nothing good ever comes out of "outting" someone. Any superficial gain is negated by the breach of faith.
07/23/2013
Contributor: mr115393 mr115393
There is no reason to out anyone. You never know what it could mean for their life or health or safety. It's not a decision you can make for anyone else.
08/14/2013
Contributor: Michelleabc Michelleabc
I don't think it's okay to out someone. Even if someone has come out to me, I don't tell other people about it due to the fact that it's their business. As mr115393 said, it could definitely endanger or devastate their life, health, and/or safety. I had an extremely orthodox Catholic father, and I waited until after I had told everyone else before him. (Didn't go well, not as bad as it could have been though but that's another story)

Honestly, I understand why they did it. Someone saying homosexuality isn't God's plan while being homosexual themselves can be horribly annoying. However, that explains what he did, it certainly doesn't excuse it.
09/05/2013
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Michelleabc
I don't think it's okay to out someone. Even if someone has come out to me, I don't tell other people about it due to the fact that it's their business. As mr115393 said, it could definitely endanger or devastate their life, health, ... more
Great answer, Michelle! It does explain why he did it, but it's never an excuse. (Though, I have to say I don't believe in excuses anyway.)
09/05/2013
Contributor: a.moon19 a.moon19
Simply put: never.
09/22/2013
Contributor: friendswithfangs friendswithfangs
yeah, agreed: never. no. please do not.
11/10/2013
Contributor: eroticmutt eroticmutt
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
I am not a regular reader of Salon.com, but this article happened to catch my eye on an aggregate site and I thought it would be a good topic for the community to discuss.

Why I Outed a Christian Star

In a nutshell, famous writer meets ... more
It is always wrong to out someone! It doesn't matter what a person's intent is or how they think it will 'help'. It only makes things worse and denies people's basic rights to privacy. If anything that anyone does in the bedroom is other people's business, then you can't draw the line at anything. To be quite honest, it isn't my parents' business, my friends' or neighbors' business, or anyone else's unless I want it to be.

Taking someone's right to decide if they will or will not keep that private is ignorant and hateful, and you do not know all of the ways that it could potentially impact their lives. You are not them, you do not know what will happen and you're affecting them, not yourself. It's always wrong.

If you want to do something good then be an activist or make a statement about yourself. Do not try to define other people, backstab them, or use them as 'tools' in a ploy for social advancement. Doing so only reduces how humane YOU are.
11/12/2013
Contributor: CinnamonNights CinnamonNights
Even if someone's a jerk there's no reason to tell about their sexuality to everyone.
11/13/2013
Contributor: Live-love-laugh Live-love-laugh
There is never a good reason to out someone. You don't know their entire story. There could be a reason they haven't come out you, it's something you need to be ready to do and do be able to do on your own terms.
11/17/2013
Contributor: kenny-the-trans-boy-wonder kenny-the-trans-boy-wonder
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
I am not a regular reader of Salon.com, but this article happened to catch my eye on an aggregate site and I thought it would be a good topic for the community to discuss.

Why I Outed a Christian Star

In a nutshell, famous writer meets ... more
Never ever out anyone without their consent
11/18/2013
Contributor: icelandia icelandia
It is NEVER ok to out someone
11/29/2013
Contributor: gothikstars gothikstars
Outing someone is a horrible idea, especially if you do it intentionally! I've accidentally outed a friend (he was very out at college but not at home) before and the realization of the mistake I had made felt terrible!
01/01/2014
Contributor: Tangerine Tangerine
Not okay. Although I do find it funny when someone who publicly bashes is finally outed.
Is it okay? NO. Did karma get them and now they have drama to deal with? Lol that's what happens when your a liar pants and your life is a lie.
I would never do it, and think it rude when people do but at the same time I don't think there is a single reason under the planet to live a lie and lie on a daily basis about who they are. Flaunting and being private are two different things. It's one thing not to go around telling people but it's a whole other situation when you are asked a direct question and flat out lie about it. You could always say " I prefer not to answer"

This doesn't just go for sexuality. It's how I feel about everything. If your a cheater say it, if your a liar and just can't stop then say that too. Just be honest about who you are and then you won't face any potential "outings" that's my own personal opinion. I feel the world would be less complicated that way.
01/11/2014
Contributor: Graniteal Graniteal
I don't think there's ever a good reason to either. It's their business. If they aren't out, then their reasons are their own.
01/21/2014
Contributor: smalltalkingbit smalltalkingbit
Absolutely not okay.
01/26/2014
Contributor: SaucyxGirl SaucyxGirl
In my opinion it is never okay to out someone, regardless of the situation. People keep silent about their sexuality for a variety reasons. These reasons could range from not yet being comfortable with it, denial, to real fears of personal safety and community/family reprisal.
03/06/2014
Contributor: Glinteye Glinteye
No. As much as there may be times when one may want to, it's not your decision to make.
03/29/2014
Contributor: benjiwithaz benjiwithaz
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
I am not a regular reader of Salon.com, but this article happened to catch my eye on an aggregate site and I thought it would be a good topic for the community to discuss.

Why I Outed a Christian Star

In a nutshell, famous writer meets ... more
NOPE. It is okay if you know the person well and they are already out to say in a conversation to someone, "this is person is xy and z" if you know that they would be comfortable with that. Outing people has gotten people murdered. Do not do the thing, yeah? Cool.
12/22/2014
Contributor: TexasBrat TexasBrat
Quote:
Originally posted by Michelleabc
I don't think it's okay to out someone. Even if someone has come out to me, I don't tell other people about it due to the fact that it's their business. As mr115393 said, it could definitely endanger or devastate their life, health, ... more
I love this response!!
07/01/2015
Contributor: TexasBrat TexasBrat
Quote:
Originally posted by SaucyxGirl
In my opinion it is never okay to out someone, regardless of the situation. People keep silent about their sexuality for a variety reasons. These reasons could range from not yet being comfortable with it, denial, to real fears of personal safety ... more
This is how I'm feeling. I really want to come out fully. However, due to having a 12 yr old girl (she kinda knows, but is in denial), and living in a very small minded town, my job would be at risk. Where I live, it's not illegal to fire someone for being gay.

I have a GF. She's been "out" for 25 years. She was outted by an ex. The ex told her that if she didn't tell her parents, then her GF would. It's caused her to really hate that ex. I don't blame her. So, I know, when she tells me that she'd never do that to me, she wouldn't.
07/01/2015
Contributor: Inquisitor Inquisitor
No, it isn't ever ok to Out anyone. It is a gross betrayal of trust and personal privacy. While I understand why the writer of that article on Salon did what he did, it was still wrong to do.
07/02/2015
Contributor: mr115393 mr115393
Outing someone is not okay. It seems like justice at times, but you have no idea what being outed could do to them. You never know what a person's life is like and what risks they face when people in their life know. It's a genuinely cruel thing to do.
09/02/2015
Contributor: Razzie Razzie
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
I am not a regular reader of Salon.com, but this article happened to catch my eye on an aggregate site and I thought it would be a good topic for the community to discuss.

Why I Outed a Christian Star

In a nutshell, famous writer meets ... more
No, no, no, GOD no.
Don't ever do that to someone. Even under those circumstances.
Ugh.
10/26/2015