The New Intimacy

I miss the company of a woman :/

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Contributor: emiliaa emiliaa
I'm the type of person who is indiscriminantly bisexual. I like who I like, and the feelings are not any stronger, weaker, or different based on gender, but based on a personal basis.

I am in a polyamorous relationship. We are both 'allowed' to sleep with, date, start a serious relationship with whoever we want (either gender) as long as all parties are aware and alright with the situation. I'm currently seeing one guy right now and we have been together 5 months. There hasn't been much outside activity aside from a fling with someone from out of town and a few...interesting encounters at this party we were both at.

But I find myself missing time with a girl. I really want to have a relationship with a girl where I can cuddle her a few times a week and send sweet little texts and fall in love with her. But why does it have to be a girl? I feel so bad for having this feeling, because I've always felt it should be (for me, at least) not gender-based.

I still have crushes on guys, and girls alike, and I do *really* have a strong attraction specifically to a girl I work with...

Do you think it might be me thinking about the specific girl that I work with? Because I don't know, I still just think about girls. Meeting girls at a convention I'm going to later this month, etc.... And not just sexually (though that aspect is DEFINITELY there, trust me) I just want a girlfriend. o.0

And I've sort of just lost interest in guys... I mean, one of my co-workers is super cute and complimented me the other day, but I only feel sexual feelings for him, I have this feeling for girls that's romantic and sweet along with sexual. Much more ...whole, I suppose.




( TL;DR: I'm into both genders, polyamorous, dating one male, and I miss girls/ want to be in a relationship with a girl, too. Why does it have to be a girl, is what I'm conflicted on? Why do I think in a gender-specific term when I usually haven't in the past? Does it mean anything? )
09/04/2011
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Contributor: Peggi Peggi
I've always found that despite trying to view both genders equally, I always preferred women over men in the past, not sure why, but I just always have. So I think your feelings are normal. I think women just "get" what we want more, because we have something in common!
09/04/2011
Contributor: emiliaa emiliaa
I guess it's normal to have a desire for just about anything. It just seems so cliche. "I have a boyfriend already so boys stay away. I want a girlfriend now." Or "She's bisexual, she can sleep with other girls, but not other guys." Even though that's not at all a part of the 'rules' of our relationship... it just seems to be what I desire, and it feels so hypocritical.
09/04/2011
Contributor: Peggi Peggi
Quote:
Originally posted by emiliaa
I guess it's normal to have a desire for just about anything. It just seems so cliche. "I have a boyfriend already so boys stay away. I want a girlfriend now." Or "She's bisexual, she can sleep with other girls, but not other ... more
When I was in an open relationship I wasn't really limited by rules either, but I had a tendency to still prefer girlfriends over boyfriends, or if I did have boyfriends typically they were extremely feminine and almost made it seem like I was with a woman.

I think it can be perfectly normal and it makes sense, and isn't hypocritical at all. You may be perfectly content with the man you are dating, but you may just have a preference to women, or maybe you just feel like too much masculinity in one relationship is just too much!
09/04/2011
Contributor: emiliaa emiliaa
Quote:
Originally posted by Peggi
When I was in an open relationship I wasn't really limited by rules either, but I had a tendency to still prefer girlfriends over boyfriends, or if I did have boyfriends typically they were extremely feminine and almost made it seem like I was ... more
That might be the case. Thanks for your two cents, I feel awkward that no one else has replied but at least you are here, LOL. <3 Thanks.
09/05/2011
Contributor: Ryuson Ryuson
(Review Program Mentor)
I think that you feel what you feel! I always have trouble with putting labels on sexuality for this exact reason. Your label should fit you, you shouldn't have to fit a label
09/05/2011
Contributor: emiliaa emiliaa
Quote:
Originally posted by Ryuson
I think that you feel what you feel! I always have trouble with putting labels on sexuality for this exact reason. Your label should fit you, you shouldn't have to fit a label
Yeah, I agree, but I guess I just hate looking like a total hypocrite because I very much speak my opinions.
09/05/2011
Contributor: mizzmilla mizzmilla
Life's about being happy, not worrying about labels or trying to fit in with one. Go find yourself a girl!
09/12/2011
Contributor: Tangerine Tangerine
I have to say I dont understand the open relationship thing (im way to jealous) but wow thats kind of a sweet deal there.. I think that those feelings are normal. I have been with both genders. But prefer women in relationships just for that falling in love, sweetness, connection thing. I feel that with guys too but it doesnt seem to last as long. I think you already have a man so maybe you just want that balance. The best of both worlds maybe
01/10/2012
Contributor: midnightcaresses midnightcaresses
I totally relate to this :/
02/18/2012