The New Intimacy

Do you identify with gay culture?

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Contributor: Llewey Llewey
I am not asking if you identify as gay, but that if you are gay, if you identify with mainstream gay culture. By this I am referring to gay pride parades/festivals, HRC rallies, what you see/hear in mainstream media, and the folks you will commonly find at gay clubs.

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Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Yes, I identify with mainstream gay culture.
1  (3%)
No, I do not identify with mainstream gay culture.
17  (50%)
Sometimes I can identify with mainstream gay culture.
16  (47%)
Other. (please comment!)
Total votes: 34
Poll is closed
10/26/2012
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Contributor: quantumspork quantumspork
I tend to find mainstream cis gay/lesbian culture a bit off-putting—too much monosexism, cissexism, racism, classism, and so on for my taste. The normativity of it all is counter to a lot of my desires and ideals as a queer person.
10/26/2012
Contributor: vanillaSpice vanillaSpice
Well, I find it difficult to define "mainstream" gay culture, but for the most part I feel like I don't fit into it very well. I'm out but sort of withdrawn about my orientation (just because I think of relationships as private if the person's not there with me!) and I'm pretty femme so I don't think I fit into the stereotypical image of a lesbian that people have - you know, sort of butch, short hair, all that.
If that's how someone wants to express themselves I don't see a problem with it, but it's not how I am. It's kind of annoying sometimes since I sort of fly under the gaydar though :|
10/27/2012
Contributor: GONE! GONE!
Sometimes. I don't like a lot of aspects, since I don't fit into molds and stereotypes easily.
10/27/2012
Contributor: Kenneth Fort Kenneth Fort
Quote:
Originally posted by Llewey
I am not asking if you identify as gay, but that if you are gay, if you identify with mainstream gay culture. By this I am referring to gay pride parades/festivals, HRC rallies, what you see/hear in mainstream media, and the folks you will commonly ... more
Nah. The parades seem like they're a bit counterintuitive.
10/27/2012
Contributor: marshmallow marshmallow
I've never been to a pride parade or a rally but I'm dying to go, so I'm saying yes.
10/28/2012
Contributor: smlove smlove
Quote:
Originally posted by Llewey
I am not asking if you identify as gay, but that if you are gay, if you identify with mainstream gay culture. By this I am referring to gay pride parades/festivals, HRC rallies, what you see/hear in mainstream media, and the folks you will commonly ... more
I'm down with lesbian culture, but unfortunately a lot of people may not consider me a lesbian because my wife has a penis. I don't mind penis, I just prefer it on girls.
Apparently I've been pretty lesbian most of my life, but just didn't realize it. and when I discovered the 'culture', things suddenly felt like home.
10/29/2012
Contributor: charletnarouh charletnarouh
There's some things I disagree with and balk at, especially the tendency towards hetero-normative ideals and the exclusivity. But for the most part, gay culture and community is important to me.
10/31/2012
Contributor: Incendiaire Incendiaire
For so long as gay culture seems to revolve around people like Lady Gaga I have no interest it in whatsoever.
11/02/2012
Contributor: zz1aag zz1aag
Quote:
Originally posted by Llewey
I am not asking if you identify as gay, but that if you are gay, if you identify with mainstream gay culture. By this I am referring to gay pride parades/festivals, HRC rallies, what you see/hear in mainstream media, and the folks you will commonly ... more
i am me
11/28/2012
Contributor: Robespierrethecat Robespierrethecat
I generally don't identify so much with mainstream gay culture. Especially when it's fetishized and developed by a ton of straight people.

Besides that, I'm queer and female and don't really put queer as one of my most important distinguishing characteristics. It's not the biggest part of who I am.

I identify a lot more with feminism, sex positivity and body positivity cultures.
11/28/2012
Contributor: Reynolds Reynolds
I've never really had a chance to find out if I would identify with it or not. Conservative family, etc, made it hard for me to try new things on as a teen and now I'm always busy with college and work. It's nice that there is a whole culture where I won't be judged for being gay, but as has been stated above, feminism and encouraging positive self-images are probably more important to me.
12/13/2012
Contributor: FrustratedFemme FrustratedFemme
On one hand, I'm extremely femme, so naturally it's harder for me to fit in with gay culture. Where I live, most lesbians don't look strictly butch or femme, but instead go for a Shane-like androgynous look. (Except with shorter hair than Shane.) On the other hand, that doesn't stop me from loving it. Pride is so fun!
12/13/2012
Contributor: wildshores wildshores
ehhh, i identify more with lesbians specifically than with "gay culture" as a whole. and even then i feel uncomfortable sometimes because i usually feel like i need to act different from who i really am (but less so around other girls, again). i do think solidarity & advocacy are important tho, just not the commodification and homogenization of "gay culture"
12/13/2012
Contributor: novanilla novanilla
Generally no. I go to pride and I enjoy stuff like that, but the mainstream gay culture is too involved in stuff like gay marriage to see the problems actually affecting more of us daily, like health insurance and harassment on the streets, which gay marriage does not solve for most people. 2 uninsured people who get married are still uninsured, for example.

I find that I am often treated badly by lesbians who claim to be very open minded simply because I date men occasionally, and that annoys me. I find more support from straight people about my fluid sexuality than from gay people or even "liberal" activists. It's super annoying.
12/27/2012
Contributor: cricket cricket
Nope
12/27/2012
Contributor: Raymaker Raymaker
Certainly more than straight culture, but "gay culture" seems to be built for the white, extroverted, and entirely homosexual. I am exactly NONE of those. The "queer culture" online seems much more accomodating to people like me.
12/27/2012
Contributor: souviet souviet
Quote:
Originally posted by Llewey
I am not asking if you identify as gay, but that if you are gay, if you identify with mainstream gay culture. By this I am referring to gay pride parades/festivals, HRC rallies, what you see/hear in mainstream media, and the folks you will commonly ... more
Sort of not really? I like going to the pride parade in my area, but I don't really identify with the entire thing very well. I mostly get nervous.
Also, I don't go to clubs.
01/06/2013
Contributor: FlashFuchsia FlashFuchsia
I don't really consider myself to be a "stereotypical homosexual". I just think/act/live/talk the way the majority of gay men do. Also, I'm not at all involved in the "gay community". I've never been to pride, a club, rallies, etc. I hardly consider myself a gay person except for the fact that I'm attracted to men.
01/14/2013
Contributor: mr115393 mr115393
Quote:
Originally posted by quantumspork
I tend to find mainstream cis gay/lesbian culture a bit off-putting—too much monosexism, cissexism, racism, classism, and so on for my taste. The normativity of it all is counter to a lot of my desires and ideals as a queer person.
I definitely agree with you. It's too exclusive, while simultaneously appearing to be so open-minded. It's not really something I feel like I can be a part of.
01/16/2013
Contributor: Boyfriend Boyfriend
nope
01/16/2013
Contributor: katat katat
Quote:
Originally posted by Llewey
I am not asking if you identify as gay, but that if you are gay, if you identify with mainstream gay culture. By this I am referring to gay pride parades/festivals, HRC rallies, what you see/hear in mainstream media, and the folks you will commonly ... more
for the most part
01/22/2013
Contributor: Falsepast Falsepast
No not really
01/22/2013