The New Intimacy

Barsexuals, LUGs, etc

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Contributor: Taylor Violet LXIX Taylor Violet LXIX
I was out drinking with my boyfriend and a couple of his buddies. My pook and I were casually talking about some of the things we both enjoy about females--pretty innocuous barroom talk . One of his friends, who doesn't really know me that well, made some condescending remark about me being a barsexual.

I was extremely annoyed. Things don't bother me for very long, but for some reason this has lingered for weeks. I'm not a barsexual or LUG or any variation on the theme. Has anyone questioned the "validity" of your sexuality? How did it make you feel? What did/do you do when this happens? Am I unreasonable to feel so bent out of shape over it?
05/31/2012
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Contributor: Peggi Peggi
That would've been cause for me to end up kicked out for probably throwing a punch at them or screaming all kinds of obscenities (I have the WORST temper ever lol) though there has only been one time where someone has questioned my sexuality. It was online, though, and she was homophobic to begin with, so of course she had her smartass remarks about that "phase" I was going through (the "phase" that has lasted oh, ALL of my dating career!)
05/31/2012
Contributor: britanny0620 britanny0620
I'm not entirely sure what a 'barsexual' is, but people question the validity of my identity all the time. In the end, only I will know for sure, and they can't prove or disprove what I feel about myself, so either the conversation gets dropped, or the friend who brought it up does.
05/31/2012
Contributor: SouthernBelle SouthernBelle
I think that is something that happens (though, those girls don't tend to get into the LGBT community in the same way because it isn't as much of their identity). I was assume barsexual is referring to women who will hook up with other women while intoxicated, but not actually for a relationship. I know my parents were hoping I was a LUG, but I'm out of school and still love my girlfriend (who would've thunk it).
05/31/2012
Contributor: vitriolicvertigo vitriolicvertigo
I don't like the assumption that all bi women are "barsexual" or "LUGs", but also, if everyone involved is consenting and understands the length of the relationship, I don't think that there's anything wrong with the "barsexual" or "LUG" thing either.
06/01/2012
Contributor: Taylor Violet LXIX Taylor Violet LXIX
Quote:
Originally posted by britanny0620
I'm not entirely sure what a 'barsexual' is, but people question the validity of my identity all the time. In the end, only I will know for sure, and they can't prove or disprove what I feel about myself, so either the conversation ... more
I'm not exactly sure what a "barsexual" is either. But in this context he was talking about girls that get drunk and make out with each other in order to attract the attention of guys. I agree about dropping the friend, but this is one of my loves best friends so I just kind of let it slide.
06/12/2012
Contributor: Taylor Violet LXIX Taylor Violet LXIX
Quote:
Originally posted by Peggi
That would've been cause for me to end up kicked out for probably throwing a punch at them or screaming all kinds of obscenities (I have the WORST temper ever lol) though there has only been one time where someone has questioned my sexuality. It ... more
I think jumping across the bar to punch him in the face would've been much more satisfying, considering how everything he said was oozing with condescension.
06/12/2012