I'm so frustrated!

Contributor: TzarChasm TzarChasm
I don't know why, but my penis is extremely sensitive to friction, even when well-lubricated. My wife and I have a healthy, adventurous sex life, but I'm definitely our weakest link because while she's one of those women who can revel in numerous consecutive, powerful orgasms, if I have intercourse three times in one week I usually need a couple of days off to recover. My penis rapidly desensitizes to sexual pleasure and even my orgasms suffer. If we make love too frequently it can even get to a point where I can thrust all day without pleasure, meaning that I won't even come. Oral sex or being jerked off by my wife actually irritates my skin far more than vaginal or anal intercourse, sometimes leaving me sore even after our first night playing together.

Largely because of this I am fairly desperate to learn how to give myself a prostate orgasm so that I can enjoy a form of masturbation at home while she's at work that won't interfere with our sex life by leaving me sore to the touch. I figure it's something we could even enjoy together—IF I can figure it out!

She bought me an Aneros Progasm; it doesn't do a damn thing for me. She bought me a PipeDream Double Trouble, and while my first two sessions experimenting with that led to powerful, pre-orgasmic sensations, I never went over the edge. I just ended up aroused but frustrated, having been teased to the brink of orgasm for nothing. Tonight I experimented with my fingers and found that I can very rapidly work my prostate into a frenzy, but my arm and hand tire so quickly that right as the sensations begin to ripple through me like I'm going to come, I have to stop because my hand is cramping. After my hand got tired I thought I'd use the Double Trouble to finish myself off, but to my disappointment I got no reaction out of my body at all once it was inside of me. (I got a solid "pulse" of pleasure immediately upon insertion, but after that it was all downhill.)

I started switching hands internally, alternating between prostate stroking with my left and right while I used the other hand to maintain pressure on my perineum. For a while there I was getting to the point where I swore three more strokes would make me ejaculate, but then my hand would hurt and I'd have to switch rapidly. Because of slight differences in my angle of approach each time I slipped into my anus, I never could keep the sensation up, and had to start all over again and again with the same result. Sometimes it actually felt like the closer I came to orgasm, the further my prostate felt from my finger—almost as if it was moving away from me in reaction to the stroking.

Finally I got up, washed my hands, the toys, and now our sheets are in the laundry. All I got for my efforts was horrendous disappointment and lube slathered in the bed. I'm so frustrated I could just scream and give up entirely. I've heard so many men talk about prostate orgasms like they're significantly more powerful than traditional ones; some say they're full-body orgasms, others say they last longer, whatever. I'd settle for average-as-all-hell if it allowed me to enjoy masturbating without unfairly impacting my ability to enjoy regular sex with my wife.

I'm sorry for posting a book but I really need to know I'm not the only guy out here who feels like a prostate invalid, or who has struggled through these same kinds of issues before finally nailing it. Have any of you guys (or women, if you've gone through this with your partners) been where I am? What kinds of techniques, positions, toys, etc., did you use to break through? Is this really worth the frustration in the end? Are prostate orgasms honestly worth writing home about?

Anything that anyone can offer me that might help me feel better about myself or finally achieve a prostate orgasm would be GREATLY appreciated. Thank you for reading.
01/27/2012
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Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
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01/27/2012
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
ToyTimeTim put together an amazing workshop for us about this a few months back. You can find it here: link

And this might seem like it's out of left field, but are you circumsized?
01/27/2012
Contributor: TzarChasm TzarChasm
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
ToyTimeTim put together an amazing workshop for us about this a few months back. You can find it here: link

And this might seem like it's out of left field, but are you circumsized? ... more
Yes, I am circumsized, and I tend to "wear" my foreskin wrapped around my glans while I'm clothed. My wife has suggested to me that perhaps because of that I've retained a lot of sensitivity that the typical circumcised man does not, as my glans doesn't spend a lot of time in direct contact with my clothes. She's suggested that I start pulling it back on a day-to-day basis, and that I not wash him with soap that could dry my skin.

Sometimes, on a particularly active week for us, I'll have to Neosporin my glans or take a full three or four days off of sex to recover. >_<
01/27/2012
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by TzarChasm
Yes, I am circumsized, and I tend to "wear" my foreskin wrapped around my glans while I'm clothed. My wife has suggested to me that perhaps because of that I've retained a lot of sensitivity that the typical circumcised man does ... more
I can see how that would be incredibly frustrating. I'm wondering if you should go see a urologist about it and see what he/she may have to offer for advice.

But, that workshop I linked to should help you out quite a bit. Just take your time and read over it to see what might work best for you!
01/27/2012
Contributor: Hallmar82 Hallmar82
I have the same problem as well. Although I've gotten close to having a prostate orgasm, I have not been able to achieve the full thing as many others have reported. In general, my wife and I are usually fine only having sex twice to at most three times a week. I strongly suggest that if you have sex more often and lose sensitivity, that you just focus on your wife. Give her a great massage, oral sex, or whatever you enjoy doing together. If you try to make yourself have an orgasm, you're going to be cheating yourself out of a great experience.
01/27/2012
Contributor: Yossarian Yossarian
It took me five years of trying to finally find the right implement for a prostate orgasm. Even now after many years of having them they're not a sure thing at all. We'd all love to tell you something like "it takes 47 attempts" or anything that would give you a definite end in mind but I'll echo what Hallmar82 said: Don't worry too much about making it happen. Just enjoy the ride. It'll come and so will you.
01/27/2012