I was raised in a somewhat conservative family--don't talk about sex, don't think about it, and you better as hell not ENGAGE in it.
When I was young, I was a hornball (nothing new there) but also unable to cover my tracks--at several points, my parents found my huge stash of printed erotica, or my porn links, or my dirty emails.... and they were very concerned that I was a pervy whore of the worst kind. They would tell me all kinds of things that gave me anxiety and guilt over who I was and wanted to be.
Once I became older and found a larger community that also enjoyed and embraced the things that I do, I was able to start working through those emotions and come to grips that, simply, my parents just don't know everything there is to know about sex--and that's okay. There is no scripted formula for happiness, and my path was just as valid.
I am happy with who I am now but I do remember, very easily, what it is like to simultaneously love what you do but hate yourself for loving it.
When I was young, I was a hornball (nothing new there) but also unable to cover my tracks--at several points, my parents found my huge stash of printed erotica, or my porn links, or my dirty emails.... and they were very concerned that I was a pervy whore of the worst kind. They would tell me all kinds of things that gave me anxiety and guilt over who I was and wanted to be.
Once I became older and found a larger community that also enjoyed and embraced the things that I do, I was able to start working through those emotions and come to grips that, simply, my parents just don't know everything there is to know about sex--and that's okay. There is no scripted formula for happiness, and my path was just as valid.
I am happy with who I am now but I do remember, very easily, what it is like to simultaneously love what you do but hate yourself for loving it.