The New Intimacy

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Contributor: IliInndulged IliInndulged
Its so sad that there are still people out there who are so close minded about sex. And what's even worse is that their ignorance makes many people uncomfortable to be who they really want to be.

Good luck getting through the class!
06/30/2011
Contributor: ss143 ss143
Isn't it generalizations like that that spur hate and discrimination? That professor sounds like a total moron and maybe he is the one who is hiding something.
06/30/2011
Contributor: Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
I would think the biggest difference between sexual sadism and the "crazy-gonna-kill-you" kind of sadism is that one is able and willing to recognize the other person's limits and stop before anything gets out of hand. I'm not into S&M myself, but I don't look down on those who are. Your professor needs to learn more before he can really be a teacher.
07/08/2011
Contributor: sarki sarki
Sounds like he needs to do some research
07/09/2011
Contributor: anonomous anonomous
Quote:
Originally posted by Mistress M.
I know. I was rather pissed about it. I think the whole thing stemmed from the fact I wore my new collar to class. Which, isn't unusual. Many people around my college campus wear them... And he gave me the strangest look when I walked into class ... more
Hes saposto be there to teach, not judge or make others uncomfortable. How awkward.
07/10/2011
Contributor: mistressg mistressg
Quote:
Originally posted by Emma (Girl With Fire)
You should ask him if he listens to country music, as far as statistics go, those who listen to country music have the highest likelihood of committing violent crimes that are not gang related. Also ask him if the fact that he is a man predisposes ... more
I love your response. Merridia Bazhir, your professor is ignorant. Sounds like a lot of miseducation.
07/12/2011
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Mistress M.
So, my professor today decided to tell the class that if a person is into S and M they automatically want to go out, rape/murder/beat nearly to death women and men. Not only that, sadism and sexual sadism is back in the books again as being a ... more
We are not into this, but did know a couple that was, and they were no more likely do anyone harm then any other person. They just were more into "pain and dominance"
in their own bedroom, and since they are still alive and married after about 15 years, I don't think they have "killed each other" yet either! Don't even have (visible) scars, that we can see.
08/01/2011
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by SexyTabby
I think the professor needs an education. That's just silly. Talk about opposite ends of a spectrum.
A lot of Professors have odd ideas and then push those odd, and often incorrect ideas on young people...about all kinds of topics. Sad, but true.
08/01/2011
Contributor: removedacnt6 removedacnt6
My degree is in psychology.

Sadism only fits the DSM-IV's diagnostic criteria if the person is a)caused significant distress by their desire or b)they commit nonconsensual acts.

Your professor is very much misinformed and out of line. I very much hope they were not a psychology teacher
08/01/2011
Contributor: Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
Sadism and Masochism is greatly misunderstood
08/04/2011
Contributor: averageguyextrodinarypleasure averageguyextrodinarypleasure
Your professor is arrogant it sounds like
08/05/2011
Contributor: Kkay Kkay
The number of offensive stereotypes taught as facts was distressing for me in school; this kind of thing isn't at all uncommon.
09/01/2011
Contributor: That Man from Mars That Man from Mars
Ugh. People like that are what ruins today's world. So assumptive and judging.
09/01/2011
Contributor: emiliaa emiliaa
I don't really like the answer "people kill people because they're crazy"--I'd qualify as crazy but I don't think i've ever killed someone.

Regardless, I don't think that sadism is the cause of all killings, it could be the cause of some, but if someone is a sadist--and they admit it--chances are they aren't planning a murder, they just get off on the stuff.
09/08/2011
Contributor: mistressg mistressg
Quote:
Originally posted by Gallowraven
It is my opinion that those who bash the practice, know little or nothing about what they are bashing. I also think these people are the same ones who think because something is different than their way, it is bad, and must be destroyed. But I also ... more
Agreed.
10/29/2011
Contributor: FemmeFlo FemmeFlo
Quote:
Originally posted by Mistress M.
So, my professor today decided to tell the class that if a person is into S and M they automatically want to go out, rape/murder/beat nearly to death women and men. Not only that, sadism and sexual sadism is back in the books again as being a ... more
Your professor sounds like a narrow-minded asshole. He might just be toeing the party line if you're at a conservative college though.
11/06/2011
Contributor: MidnightStorm MidnightStorm
That is horrible... Ugh! It's definitely NOT a mental illness. It's so annoying that things like this actually go on, that people believe things like that. Sadism and Masochism come in varying forms; even in me, I might be feeling a bit sadistic one night, and a bit masochistic the next. I never want to go out and rape/kill people, though!
11/14/2011
Contributor: mudpie mudpie
Although I'm not in an S&M relationship right now, at least in my view, a big part of it is enjoying the fact that the other person enjoys it. There is a BIG difference between liking to cause someone pain in a way that gives them pleasure, and just liking to cause someone pain. My ex-girlfriend loved it when I raked my nails down her back, but I would never go up and scratch random people on the street.
11/21/2011
Contributor: duff duff
greatly misunderstood
11/24/2011
Contributor: (k)InkyIvy (k)InkyIvy
Undoubtedly, there are some people who have committed violent crimes that do fall into the sadist/masochist category... But there are also people who have committed violent crimes that have never had anything other than vanilla sexual encounters in the missionary position. Someone's sexual preferences do not indicate whether or not they are going to be violent criminals. People who enjoy s&m are just as likely to be violent as someone who isn't into s&m.
12/05/2011
Contributor: Chirple Chirple
Some people are out of control and get off on genuine suffering.

Role playing and BDSM are not the same, and in my limited experience people who really are out of control or borderline are not welcome or told to seek help by the legitimate community.
12/05/2011
Contributor: hyacinthgirl hyacinthgirl
There are serial killers who are sexual sadists, because harming and mutilating another person is the only thing that they really enjoy. There's a huge difference between spanking your lover with a riding crop and shoving an unsheathed knife into a stranger's genitalia.

Some people do get off on torture and murder, and they don't want it to be pleasurable for their partner, because they don't care the slightest bit about the person they're with. S&M in a non-sensational context must involve a lot of caring and trust between two people.
02/01/2012
Contributor: NicNat NicNat
Quote:
Originally posted by Mistress M.
What it comes down to is, people like to point fingers and hide from things they don't understand. Or if it is different from them.
Agreed.
02/04/2012
Contributor: richsam richsam
i think it is misunderstood
02/05/2012
Contributor: ViVix ViVix
Quote:
Originally posted by Mistress M.
So, my professor today decided to tell the class that if a person is into S and M they automatically want to go out, rape/murder/beat nearly to death women and men. Not only that, sadism and sexual sadism is back in the books again as being a ... more
Pain and pleasure are so closely related. Deriving pleasure out of another human's pain when person number 2 receives no pleasure would be the psychotic part to it.
02/05/2012
Contributor: NurseKitty NurseKitty
Quote:
Originally posted by Mistress M.
As an update one of our exam questions was to "talk about the evils revealed in Douglas's work about slavery" which was what our professor was discussing when he went on his rant about sexual sadism.. I'm pretty sure that I'm ... more
Bravo! I cannot abide by narrow minded idiots! Thank you for standing up to your professor!
02/06/2012
Contributor: NurseKitty NurseKitty
Quote:
Originally posted by chidoll
Sexual sadism as a psychiatric term isn't the same as S&M - it's a classification for offenders and killers. Your teacher seems to not understand this, or doesn't have the sense not to equate them. Teachers who say nonsense like that ... more
Miriam Webster Dictionary Definition of Sadism:
a sexual perversion in which gratification is obtained by the infliction of physical or mental pain on others (as on a love object) — compare masochism
2
a : delight in cruelty


chidoll is very right in that we have a lot of defenitions that use "sadism" to describe a particular disorder. But in it's purest form a sadist is simply a person who gets off on inflicting pain. This does not make you a killer or evil nor does it even make you a mentally ill person
02/09/2012
Contributor: Jensen Jensen
I know this thread is old but your professor's misinformation makes me sad.
02/15/2012
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by Mistress M.
So, my professor today decided to tell the class that if a person is into S and M they automatically want to go out, rape/murder/beat nearly to death women and men. Not only that, sadism and sexual sadism is back in the books again as being a ... more
Hmmm... I really can't be totally sure what to think because I'm not really into that sort of thing, but a long time ago I had to do research (not a huge amount) on sadism and masochism and I did understand some of the extreme "cases" truly being mentally ill, but I also seen some of the less extreme things such as keeping it in the bedroom and between a consentual partner and NOT abusing them or truly beating them unmercifully - not so "crazy." This is why I have to say it absolutely depends on many, many things.
02/15/2012
Contributor: Paco Paco
it seems to me, that your professor was and or is a complete idiot.
02/15/2012