Your partner and your toy collection.

Contributor: TeaganChase TeaganChase
I'm just curious to know how everyones partner looks at their toy collection. Do they see it as a threat? Do they enjoy them as much as you? Are they as excited as you are when a new one arrives?

I just placed a massive order using the coupon we got and my bf just looked at me like I was nuts. He enjoys using them too, and loves when I get sent a new one to play with. But with this last order he's just like "Do we really need that many?"

Now I work as a webcam model so toys are a part of my job. But we use them as well lots of times. I think that I now will need to have a storage box to put them all in he might be getting a little intimidated.

So do toys intimidate you? What if she had an entire box full of them? Do you mind when she pulls ones out during your playtime? Does your partner not even use toys?
02/16/2011
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Contributor: VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
My partner loves my toys, though we're quickly running out of storage space at his place. He loves to use them on me and watch me go at it solo, so it works out. He's the first person to not be intimidated by the mass amount of toys that I own
02/16/2011
Contributor: TeaganChase TeaganChase
Yeah my bf now is the first never to mind using them during our play.
02/16/2011
Contributor: Taylor Taylor
I don't think he feels threatened by them, but I don't think he feels like I need more than a couple of them. He feels that I can spend my money as I feel is fit, so if that includes buying a bunch of sex toys then that is my business and not his. Maybe when we move in together and it becomes "our" money there might be some more issues.
02/16/2011
Contributor: jankit jankit
Toy collections rock. Fiance agrees.
02/16/2011
Contributor: null null
He says he's all for it, but I still worry that maybe he thinks i have too many
02/16/2011
Contributor: TeaganChase TeaganChase
I wonder if some feel intimidated that we have 80 ways to please ourselves all in a box.
I did have a bf once say that I wasn't gonna ever need him if I got any toys. I told him I didn't need a toy to get off by myself anyway, and I still needed him just the same.
02/16/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by TeaganChase
I'm just curious to know how everyones partner looks at their toy collection. Do they see it as a threat? Do they enjoy them as much as you? Are they as excited as you are when a new one arrives?

I just placed a massive order using the ... more
My partner's sometimes wonder if I will ever have enough but they aren't intimidated by them and love that they can point to my toybox and feel like I am the pampered , spoiled woman that I really am. They are also proud that they don;t pay anything for them, I do this all myself.
02/16/2011
Contributor: TeaganChase TeaganChase
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
My partner's sometimes wonder if I will ever have enough but they aren't intimidated by them and love that they can point to my toybox and feel like I am the pampered , spoiled woman that I really am. They are also proud that they don;t pay ... more
I think we all deserve to be pampered in exactly the same way. lol
02/16/2011
Contributor: newfoundlust newfoundlust
I am the one who usually buys them for my wife, so I love them, anything that makes her happy and excited is ok by me.
02/16/2011
Contributor: SexyStuff SexyStuff
We are just starting to build our toy collection, so far my husband is on board as long as we use them together.
02/16/2011
Contributor: Joie de Cherresse Joie de Cherresse
He loves our toy collection and is excited every time we add a new toy to it. We only use them together. He isn't intimidated by them by no means. He is the one who actually pulls them out to play, lol.
02/16/2011
Contributor: Jobthingy Jobthingy
He is not intimidated at all. He laughs when I get a few at once telling me that I am going to have to get another room soon enough to keep them in but he loves them just as much as I do.
02/16/2011
Contributor: HoneyHoney HoneyHoney
Quote:
Originally posted by TeaganChase
I'm just curious to know how everyones partner looks at their toy collection. Do they see it as a threat? Do they enjoy them as much as you? Are they as excited as you are when a new one arrives?

I just placed a massive order using the ... more
My partner actually bought me my first vibrator. He has no problem using it on me and he doesn't feel intimidated. He really likes it and so do I. Right now I only have a little vibrator but i'm planning to get another. He doesn't mind as long as he gets to use it on me.
02/16/2011
Contributor: Choolz Choolz
I'm jealous that you all have someone who isn't intimidated. My husband freaks out. If I get a vibrator or dildo it has to be smaller than he is or he thinks I'm going to run off with it, I could never let on that I use them all the time alone or he would probably have a heart attack, he HAS to be the one to use it on me. seriously? It gets really annoying that he is so insecure and threatened by a toy. I try to be understanding as I know that not everyone sees sex toys in the same way and that it can take some getting used to, but sometimes I can't help it and get mad, we've been together for 6 years and he's acts like that?!
02/16/2011
Contributor: TeaganChase TeaganChase
Choolz you are not alone. My best friends husband is adamant against toys. She's been told she's not allowed to have one. Ever. He wants to be the only thing that gives her pleasure. Now that's extreme.
I think we've all had a partner who was insecure with a toy at some point in our lives. If it's bigger than them, or vibrates, to downright they just are insecure. Fact is men can't do what a toy can. They compare themselves with it and it's silly. You shouldn't compare yourself to inanimate objects. I can't do what a blow up can do for hours on end, do I feel bad about it? NO. Would I tell my partner not to have one? NO. Sadly not all men feel the same I guess.
Maybe try talking to him and getting to the root of why he really has an issue with them. He doesn't have to be all "Yay toys!," but maybe just a little more understanding that it's just a toy. Sexually it gives you what you need sometimes, but emotionally and mentally he is the one who fulfills you. Worth a shot. Maybe even bring him here and watch reviews or videos together to see some men are ok with it. No threat to his masculinity in any way
02/17/2011
Contributor: pinkzombie pinkzombie
Quote:
Originally posted by TeaganChase
I'm just curious to know how everyones partner looks at their toy collection. Do they see it as a threat? Do they enjoy them as much as you? Are they as excited as you are when a new one arrives?

I just placed a massive order using the ... more
My husband loves that I have toys. We don't always use them so I don't think he is threatened. Our collection started together yrs ago with a trip to fascinations. I have been looking into storage. A trunk, or a set of drawers. I want to keep it all together and easier to "dig" through
02/17/2011
Contributor: Choolz Choolz
Quote:
Originally posted by TeaganChase
Choolz you are not alone. My best friends husband is adamant against toys. She's been told she's not allowed to have one. Ever. He wants to be the only thing that gives her pleasure. Now that's extreme.
I think we've all had a ... more
Thanks, that made me feel a lot better. To me it doesn't make sense that he doesn't find the idea of my playing with myself hot. And I have talked to him about it. Toys are fun and can do different things but they could never replace him.
I really like the idea of showing his some posts/reviews here so that he can see that toys aren't as taboo as he makes them out to be.
02/17/2011
Contributor: TeaganChase TeaganChase
Quote:
Originally posted by Choolz
Thanks, that made me feel a lot better. To me it doesn't make sense that he doesn't find the idea of my playing with myself hot. And I have talked to him about it. Toys are fun and can do different things but they could never replace him. ... more
Does he enjoy watching you masturbate when you're together? Or does he more like being the one who makes you feel good only.
The idea of you doing it alone vs in front of him may tell you some things about why he doesn't like them so much.
The guy I dated before who had an issue with my toys was very insecure with them. He thought I loved them more than him basically. That I didn't need him. So when we'd play together with them I did things to make him more secure. I talked to him throughout the sessions. "I love when YOU move it like that, it feels good when YOU do this." I stroked his ego and not the toys essentially. He loosened up more after that.
02/17/2011
Contributor: Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
My guy is totally cool with it.

He's often been known to tell people I not only have a bigger dick than he does, but ten or so of them. hehe.

I'm cool with his toy usage, too. Together or alone, folks need variety and different sensations at different times. I'd be sad if he didn't get that.
02/17/2011
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
We shop for toys together. So he is completely OK with it and enjoys it.

He loves looking for new things with me and finding out what I might like about certain ones, but often he will pick things out to use on me.

I like to purchase toys for him that I can use on him. He is even starting to pick some out for himself.

We are enjoying adding to our toy box immensely.
02/17/2011
Contributor: PiratePrincess PiratePrincess
He always knows what I get, and he is excited whenever we get something new. We use them together, but alone too and neither of us minds. He likes watching me and discovering new things to try out when we're together.
02/17/2011
Contributor: ID42 ID42
My husband loves our toys. In fact we bought the first one together on our way home from vacation one year. We have since obtained quite the collection. Sometimes I use them without him, but hey, I know he masturbates alone sometimes too. Most of the time our toys are for couples play during sex or even if we aren't going to get into sex we still might play for awhile. He's never been intimidated by them or angry that I like to use them.
02/17/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by TeaganChase
Choolz you are not alone. My best friends husband is adamant against toys. She's been told she's not allowed to have one. Ever. He wants to be the only thing that gives her pleasure. Now that's extreme.
I think we've all had a ... more
If I were your friend, I'd kick this insecure little baby to the curb! "Not allowed to have one?" WTF?

My Man bought me my first sex toy. I didn't want it at first and I warmed up to the idea.

My body has changed during peri-menopause so that I can't have an orgasm without the use of a powerful want vibrator. It isn't his fault and it isn't mine. I'm just glad we are both mature enough to know that my pleasure is important enough to do anything that gets me off. He can get me 99.99% of the way there, but I only go over the edge with strong massagers.

He isn't threatened by dildos and large vibrators. Once in a while, he'll say, "I think that one is bigger than me." But, I measure it and it rarely is. He doesn't believe he's a big boy. Even if it were bigger than him, he gets off on using them on me, or even the idea that I use them alone.

If I mention something to him like "I pulled out the (whatever toy) this morning after you left for work." I am usually dragged into the bedroom at the first chance, because it turns him on. He's a very Sex Positive man, and it's one of the reasons I chose him to be my life partner. I could never spend my life, or really any time with men who are "threatened" by intimate objects. Nor one who didn't put sexual pleasure for both of us as his first priority.

I hope that didn't sound mean. It wasn't my intention. But, I think our partners take and run with what we allow them to run with. If someone you LOVE and who supposedly loves you doesn't understand your pleasure and need for it, there is some serious talking and working to do, that's all.
02/17/2011
Contributor: TeaganChase TeaganChase
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
My guy is totally cool with it.

He's often been known to tell people I not only have a bigger dick than he does, but ten or so of them. hehe.

I'm cool with his toy usage, too. Together or alone, folks need variety and different ... more
That is hilarious. But I agree variety is the spice of life I feel.
02/17/2011
Contributor: TeaganChase TeaganChase
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
If I were your friend, I'd kick this insecure little baby to the curb! "Not allowed to have one?" WTF?

My Man bought me my first sex toy. I didn't want it at first and I warmed up to the idea.

My body has changed ... more
I'd kick him to the curb as well. But she's weird in the same way. He's not allowed to watch porn or look at other girls naked ever. It's a very odd relationship to me. They're both very insecure I feel. I mean I love her to death of course but I couldn't imagine saying no to porn. Even I love porn. But she will literally come over and complain about looking through the computers history and finding it and the huge fight they just had. I just don't understand being that way together.

I had one toy before i started my job webcamming. Even that was collecting dust. But now that my job is to play with myself I thought I should make it as pleasurable as I can. Now I don't see me ever stopping or going back with someone who wasn't ok with me using them.

My partner now loves me using them alone, together, watching me using them, anything all the time. I love that he enjoys me having a good time. We figure as long as it isn't another person then all is fair game. We're very open and honest. I think it brings a couple closer together.

And I don't think you sounded mean in the slightest. I do feel someone who is insecure for whatever reason with you enjoying alone time with yourself, or the fact a toy can give you pleasure has some serious deep issues they need work on.
02/17/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by TeaganChase
I'd kick him to the curb as well. But she's weird in the same way. He's not allowed to watch porn or look at other girls naked ever. It's a very odd relationship to me. They're both very insecure I feel. I mean I love her to death ... more
I'm glad you understand where I was coming from. It sounds like they have a type of relationship that wouldn't work for you or I.

I figure if I went through My Man's computer history (which I don't do, unless he asks me to to find something, which he has done) and found something that I didn't like, I probably should have minded my own business in the first place. What'cha gonna do?
02/17/2011
Contributor: TeaganChase TeaganChase
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
I'm glad you understand where I was coming from. It sounds like they have a type of relationship that wouldn't work for you or I.

I figure if I went through My Man's computer history (which I don't do, unless he asks me to to ... more
I'm all about exploration and expressing myself even sexually. I don't go for the bottle it all up type of men. But I guess they're perfect for each other haha.

And yes I don't go through my man anything. As I wouldn't want him going through my stuff. I have nothing to hide but still some privacy please.
02/17/2011
Contributor: liilii080 liilii080
My bf thinks one or two is ok but each time I get a new one he asks if I really need another toy. He doesn't want me to use them too much because he thinks I'll be less sensitive to him and he doesn't really like using them on me as he'd rather do the work himself. I can't seem to explain that it's not anything against him that I enjoy toys and that I won't be less responsive to him. It's more like enjoying chocolate and vanilla and cookies and cream ice cream. They're all different and good. I hate having to keep a secret stash for myself but I'm entitled to do with my body as I see fit and his work schedule leaves me with plenty of time to myself.
02/17/2011
Contributor: TeaganChase TeaganChase
Quote:
Originally posted by liilii080
My bf thinks one or two is ok but each time I get a new one he asks if I really need another toy. He doesn't want me to use them too much because he thinks I'll be less sensitive to him and he doesn't really like using them on me as ... more
Well more power to you for being strong about your own pleasure
02/20/2011