Would You Donate?

Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
The current thread asking how you'd feel if you found out your current significant other had donated sperm earlier in his life has me thinking...how many of us here would donate eggs or sperm? Would you do it, or maybe only under certain circumstances? What if you knew an infertile or gay couple that wanted a child and they asked you? I don't know what the going rate for sperm is, but I know the local rate for egg donation is $8,000 and it's less hormonally traumatic than the way it used to be done. They actually use birth control pills to 'synch' you to the receiving woman.
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
I would donate or sell my sperm to a stranger
Pleasured n Aroused , ToyTimeTim , Kindred , Gunsmoke , newfoundlust , mmike , TheHardOne , Errant Venture , kingofthevampires , amazon , damnbul12
11
I would donate or sell my eggs to a stranger
Tori Rebel , Not here , PassionQT , twistedheartsx , Jul!a , Trashley , Tucker Cummings , kcordie , CoffeeCup , onehotmomma , Kayla , Envy , clp , Jobthingy , mrs.mckrakn , Kim! , LikeSunshineDust , Joie de Cherresse , Taylor , sbon , Eliza , MaryExy , toxie m , Miss Anonymous , JRabbits , Ms. Spice , Breas , cheetahpita , Hot'n'Bothered , darthkitt3n , 0 , Angelica , ohmai , karay123 , Kdlips , Misfit Momma , TransMarc , amazon , SimpleHedonist , null
40
I would donate sperm to people I know
Istanbull
1
I would donate an egg to people I know
Tori Rebel , Not here , Splendwhore , Jul!a , Trashley , Lady Venus , deadpoet , Tucker Cummings , Love Buzz , onehotmomma , Envy , RadRach , I'll Miss You EF :( , usmcwife99 , clp , LikeSunshineDust , EndlessFrost , Alegria , MeliPixie , DCorrelle , NaturalWoman , Alyxx , Taylor , sbon , Eliza , MaryExy , liilii080 , KatPawz2003 , froggiemoma , Miss Anonymous , JRabbits , TameTemptress , cheetahpita , darthkitt3n , 0 , karay123 , Misfit Momma , anonymouse58 , switzerland , TransMarc , x203 , SimpleHedonist , ToyGeek
43
I have sperm and never would
Avant-garde , radink , B8trDude , Yoda , The Curious Couple , lovemuscle n cookie , Passionate Pastor , slynch , Illumin8 , Howells , dhig , hhh
12
I have eggs and never would
P'Gell , Rockin' , SexyySarah , Pleasure Piratess , Persephone's Addiction , buzzvibe , sexysweetieshan , Liz2 , removedacnt , kck , gone77 , Liz , Valentinka , Eden C. , PussyGalore , Shellz31 , bunny love , Nothere , jc123 , MN58 , potstickers , Eucaly , hiroshiro , JKS , Lavendar Menace , Loriandhubby , ghalik , AliMc , gorgeous
29
I already have done it - please share!
Checkmate
1
The Ever-Popular Other
DeliciousSurprise , Sir , thatonegirl , Miss Cinnamon , Chilipepper , Airen Wolf , Dusk , PurpleBerry , Viktor Vysheslav Malkin , chocoqueen , learnlivelove , Haiku , Eliza , KatPawz2003 , lovemuscle n cookie , Silverdrop , hiroshiro , noofbat , anonkitty , ghalik , glasskitten
21
Total votes: 158 (130 voters)
Poll is closed
09/02/2010
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Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
I'm still on the fence of the having kids decision but definitely leaning toward the 'no' side, but I'd be glad to help out those who couldn't. For some reason, I wouldn't think of the children as my own, there's some kind of disconnect in my mind when I think about the eggs being removed and the child growing in someone else's body. I don't think, however, that I could give birth to a child and then give it away. Maybe I would think differently if I had already had children though?
09/02/2010
Contributor: Not here Not here
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
I'm still on the fence of the having kids decision but definitely leaning toward the 'no' side, but I'd be glad to help out those who couldn't. For some reason, I wouldn't think of the children as my own, there's some ... more
I am the same way. While I haven't full decided whether I'll have kids yet, since I'm still so young, I really don't think I will be. It's just not for me. I have looked into egg donation, because it would be a good deed for the people/person who couldn't have children, and because the money would be extremely helpful. I think I may do it some day in the somewhat near future, when my schedule is a bit more forgiving and will allow for it.

As for giving a child up for adoption, I don't think I would be able to do it. I couldn't carry a baby for 9 months, give birth to it, then give it away. I'd much rather donate my eggs to make someone's wish come true.
09/02/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Most egg donation programs only take donors who have successfully been pregnant and given birth to a healthy child. There are a LOT of genetic tests done (more than in sperm donation) and the procedure is a minor surgical procedure, which can take up to a week to recover from, not to mention several months of several times daily hormone injections. the hormones are done for months before the "Harvest" to get as many eggs as possible. You also CANNOT have sex during the entire thing, the whole Fertility Treatment, because you could get pregnant with quads or quints etc, because the medication they give you causes you to ripen up to 12 eggs at one time. Also, if you do get pregnant, they often refuse to pay you, and you may end up having to pay for the expensive hormones yourself, because NOT having sex during the treatment, leading up to Harvest is part of the Contract you sign.

You also have to contract not to drink any alcohol, no meds for any reason, no tobacco, consent to lots of genetic testing, suffer the mood swings of intense ovulation drugs, in addition to ANYTHING the perspective clinic or parents request. I've heard of women being told they can't eat peanut butter or gluten during the procedure to "prevent allergies in the baby" (which I think is bullshit, but the people PAYING for the eggs get to ask for what they want.) And it isn't just jerking off, like guys do, it's a 1 to 3 month commitment, where your body belongs completely to the clinic and the prospective parents.

I would not do this. Just the PITA aspect alone is bad enough, but someone else raising my kids would bother me. I'm a picky Mama, I adore my kids, and am picky about the occasional baby sitter, when my kids were little. Someone with my egg and eventually my child? Not for me.

But, every one's mileage will vary.
09/02/2010
Contributor: Blinker Blinker
I would never ever "donate". I'm just not that nice. My boyfriend and I have talked about me selling my eggs, to make some money. That kind of money is greatly needed. His car caught on fire the other day and mine is on its last limb...or wheel, so to speak.

I don't think I could let someone I know have my eggs. Even if I loved them dearly and felt bad that they were childless. I could never be around that child knowing it was technically mine.

Of course I probably can't donate anyway. I only have one ovary and I have enough plumbing issues already
09/02/2010
Contributor: Blinker Blinker
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Most egg donation programs only take donors who have successfully been pregnant and given birth to a healthy child. There are a LOT of genetic tests done (more than in sperm donation) and the procedure is a minor surgical procedure, which can take up ... more
FUCK THAT!

I love you and your posts, P'Gell. I learn something new everyday
09/02/2010
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Most egg donation programs only take donors who have successfully been pregnant and given birth to a healthy child. There are a LOT of genetic tests done (more than in sperm donation) and the procedure is a minor surgical procedure, which can take up ... more
I'm surprised (and I do trust you) that they prefer women who have had children - I know that's not always the case by me, simply because I know people that haven't had children and have donated, but the age cut off here is also 30. Maybe it varies by area? From what I can tell here, since they advertise CONSTANTLY and are always upping the payment for egg donors, maybe there's a larger need and therefore the guidelines are less stringent?

I know the testing is crazy, but at the same time, it probably should be. And the programs here tell you you'll be receiving hormone injections for 'up to 12 days' but if they're that desperate for donors, maybe they pretty it up a little on paper? They also make it sound like the retrieval process is simple, which I would doubt, but the person I know that did this was up and about in a day or two. Is it possible different clinics use different procedures? The way you're describing it is definitely more of what I thought it was like when I was younger and initially looked into it - tons of injections, more complicated surgery (although any surgery is by definition, complicated and dangerous), etc., but it doesn't seem so bad now.
09/02/2010
Contributor: Not here Not here
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
FUCK THAT!

I love you and your posts, P'Gell. I learn something new everyday
Yeah I'm with you. They make it sound a LOT nicer one the websites.. Not to mention you have to fill out a form bigger than the SATs to even be considered. While it is a good amount of money, it doesn't seem so worth it after reading P'Gell's post.

And yeah, P'Gell rocks
09/02/2010
Contributor: radink radink
I can no longer donate even if I wanted to
09/02/2010
Contributor: Avant-garde Avant-garde
I would never donate my sperm because I have a greater potential to pass on some really nasty disorders and I consider making a child unethical.
09/02/2010
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by Not here
Yeah I'm with you. They make it sound a LOT nicer one the websites.. Not to mention you have to fill out a form bigger than the SATs to even be considered. While it is a good amount of money, it doesn't seem so worth it after reading ... more
Yes she does! And normally I wouldn't believe the websites, but after knowing someone that did it, I'm genuinely curious. The forms and tests are definitely crazy though, it can take well over a month just to do the testing, the exams, the histories, and the psych analysis.
09/02/2010
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by Avant-garde
I would never donate my sperm because I have a greater potential to pass on some really nasty disorders and I consider making a child unethical.
That makes great sense. I actually have really excellent genetics, the only women that have died on either side of my family since I've been alive have either met untimely ends (car accidents, etc. - nothing medical) or were near 100 when they died. My great grandmother on my mother's side is not only still alive, but pretty darn healthy!
09/02/2010
Contributor: Avant-garde Avant-garde
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
That makes great sense. I actually have really excellent genetics, the only women that have died on either side of my family since I've been alive have either met untimely ends (car accidents, etc. - nothing medical) or were near 100 when they ... more
Thats awesome I wish my grandparents were still alive I miss them.
09/02/2010
Contributor: SexyySarah SexyySarah
I wouldn't just because it's more of a personal thing and if I give one a way or so I wouldn't feel comfortable.
09/02/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
I'm surprised (and I do trust you) that they prefer women who have had children - I know that's not always the case by me, simply because I know people that haven't had children and have donated, but the age cut off here is also 30. ... more
Every clinic does it differently. The Fertility Clinic at the hospital I used to work with did it this way. I am sure some of them will take women who have not had kids, like you said, it probably varied by location, cost etc.

But, most of the women in the program had months of hormone shots, the least amount of time was a full menstrual cycle. Maybe since then, they've loosened up a little. This was a number of years ago, and yeah, they do make it sound easier in the pamphlets. Some women have no problems, others have to stop due to the side effect etc. It's a mileage thing, that you really won't know until you have done it.

They do have to either go through the abdominal wall, with a large bore needle, or through the cervix, which then needs to be dilated, to get the eggs. They also almost always use a Endoscopic Camera to make sure they hit the ovary. These are both considered "minor surgery" some women recover in 24 hours, some still are having to rest at 7 days. Everybody responds differently.

Anybody who is considering it, obviously, needs to talk to the program and get everything in writing, the payments, the hormones, the side effects, how long you will have to take the hormones, what "Harvesting" procedure they will use, how long, realistically, you will be laid up afterward. Some clinic say "you can go back to work the next day" but most women do not feel up to it. Make sure you get everything in writing. And look at more than one clinic, too. Make sure they treat you with respect and answer ALL your questions.
09/02/2010
Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
I would, I just don't know if they would want them.
09/02/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Oh, and I forgot, some of them require the donor to have Body Mass Index between 19 and 29 and you cannot have had a tattoo or piercing done withing 12 months. Every clinic has different, but similar standards. And, no "criminal convictions or charges." which can get really judgmental, if they want to be a real stickler about it. Not all require this, but most contain "nicely" worded things about "body size and weight." I am guessing they don't do this for sperm donors.

And, yeah, a lot of them require an IQ test or your GRE (Graduate Record Exam, a test you take before you go to grad school) or you SAT score. Nearly all require "psychological testing."

Most sperm donors (except the "Genius Sperm" program) don't have to go through all this stuff in such detail.
09/02/2010
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Every clinic does it differently. The Fertility Clinic at the hospital I used to work with did it this way. I am sure some of them will take women who have not had kids, like you said, it probably varied by location, cost etc.

But, most of the ... more
This is all good to know, P'Gell. Thanks so much for your well educated help I would honestly still do it - it's highly unlikely that it will ever happen, but if I had the opportunity to give someone the gift of a child, I think it would be worthwhile, but that's a very personal decision and will be different for everyone. I'm less than 2 years from the age limit and a little over the weight limit at the moment to 'sell' them, which makes it even more unlikely, but if someone I knew asked and I believed that they would be good parents and that it would be a wonderfully life changing event for them to have a child, I really think I'd do it.
09/02/2010
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Oh, and I forgot, some of them require the donor to have Body Mass Index between 19 and 29 and you cannot have had a tattoo or piercing done withing 12 months. Every clinic has different, but similar standards. And, no "criminal convictions or ... more
It is kind of uneven there, isn't it? I know about the weight limit to do it and the tattoo issue...a good friend of mine looked into it about a year ago and those were the two things that kind of canceled her out right off the bat.
09/02/2010
Contributor: Kindred Kindred
There are also risks involved with women donating eggs from the hormones used to stimulate super ovulation to the actual harvesting procedure. Any woman considering this really would have to discuss it seriously with their doctor and family. While risks may be minimal, there are still risks that a person should know and understand.
09/02/2010
Contributor: Trashley Trashley
I never want children, ever, unless I adopt, so I think this would actually be a pretty cool way to know my genes are still going strong somewhere in the world. I even tried to donate my eggs earlier this year but they all said I had to be 25 :[
09/02/2010
Contributor: deadpoet deadpoet
Me and my BF have been thinking about donating sperm or my eggs to friends who are unable to have childern themselves.

On the sperm side, You can get $100 to $600 a cup. I've heard a single egg goes for $10,000.
09/03/2010
Contributor: buzzvibe buzzvibe
My eggs are too old now anyway, but I briefly thought about doing this when I was younger and needed the money, but I just didn't feel right leaving my genetic material in the hands of somebody else to take care of. I'm a control freak that way.
09/03/2010
Contributor: Blinker Blinker
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Oh, and I forgot, some of them require the donor to have Body Mass Index between 19 and 29 and you cannot have had a tattoo or piercing done withing 12 months. Every clinic has different, but similar standards. And, no "criminal convictions or ... more
That raises another question about intelligence: is it even genetic? This rigorous testing seems unethical to me, but I suppose if couples can afford to spend so much on eggs and IVF and whatnot, they's expect a certain standard of donor.
09/03/2010
Contributor: Wayne Kerr Wayne Kerr
After having raised a child who is not genetically my own, I feel even more strongly about my opinion on this subject.

No. I wouldn't donate. I think it is supremely arrogant to insist that the only child one could possibly love is one whose genes match yours at least 50%.

There are a LOT of kids out there without parents. It seems to me they are a perfect match for those couples unable to have kids. I have friends who insist that their child just had to be "their" child. They spent a fortune trying to conceive. Now they have a child with birth defects who will require special care for life. Another couple got a healthy child, but did they pass fertility problems on to that child?

My "daughter" and I consider each other a blessing. By "Donating" genetic material, I would be denying someone the opportunity to be a blessing to someone else.

Besides, do we really want to make the fertility doctors even richer? These are the guys who brought us Octomom! More concerned with what can be done, rather than what should be done.

I apologize if I hurt anyone's feelings, my intention was to provoke thought.

Oh yeah! I agree that P'Gell's posts are awesome and we are fortunate to have her.

Wayne.
09/04/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
It is kind of uneven there, isn't it? I know about the weight limit to do it and the tattoo issue...a good friend of mine looked into it about a year ago and those were the two things that kind of canceled her out right off the bat.
Yeah, some of the recommendations make no sense. The Red Cross is changing the "no blood donation for 12 months after tattooing" due to simply NO reason to exclude people. I think it's a judgment of people's "lifestyles" if you ask me.

I think I got the original "Three months of fertility drugs" from women who are undergoing their OWN fertility treatments for their own pregnancies. They usually undergo prepping the body for several months, in some places. It has been streamlined for egg donation, it looks like.

Three months of Clomid is HELL!
09/04/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
That raises another question about intelligence: is it even genetic? This rigorous testing seems unethical to me, but I suppose if couples can afford to spend so much on eggs and IVF and whatnot, they's expect a certain standard of donor.
We just don't know. I think it's a mix of genetics, early attention paid to the child, a lot of reading and intellectual play in early childhood and just luck!

I DOUBT you can get a "genius baby" just from sperm from a guy who tested 135 or above on an IQ test. But, people pay for it.
09/04/2010
Contributor: Sir Sir
Since I'm not comfortable sharing whether I have sperm or eggs, I will say this:

I would share/donate the things that I have that have the capability of making children, yes.
09/04/2010
Contributor: kcordie kcordie
women can make a lot of money off of donating eggs. I'd be up for it! i'm a poor college kid.
09/04/2010
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
My b/f was a regular paid donor until about 10 yrs ago. I have to admit I have some dark moments when I think of the 100 or even 1000 offspring he may have. But it does not appear to to bother him at all. To him it was an easy gig and he was in college, always desperate for money.
For me, I could not sell or give my eggs away. The thoughts about a potential offspring would bother me so. My b/f was very surprised that I never considered egg donation while I was in college since I am usually so open.
09/04/2010