The New Intimacy

Who's got the sexual creativity?

Skip to last post
Set alerts
Updates
Forum search
Contributor: spicywife spicywife
After the thread about Relinquishing Control, it made me wonder if there is any type of pattern in sexual creativity in different relationships.

Who brings more of the sexual creativity to the relationship?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I do (I am female)
66  (45%)
I do (I am male)
36  (24%)
It's equal
38  (26%)
Other
8  (5%)
Total votes: 148
Poll is closed
08/13/2009
  • Upgrade Your Hands-Free Play!
  • Long-distance pleasure set for couples
  • Save Extra 20% On Love Cushion And Toy Set!
  • Complete strap-on set for extra 15% off
  • Save 50% On Shower Nozzle With Enema Set
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
Contributor: Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
Always me, but I wish he would now and again--- everyone likes surprises.
08/13/2009
Contributor: Juliettia Juliettia
It's pretty much equal.
08/13/2009
Contributor: Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
It's about equal here, but we bring it in different ways. Generally speaking, He adds more impact toys and humiliation (He is a sadist, afterall), and I add more sex toys and positions.
08/13/2009
Contributor: Sammi Sammi
I probably bring more, but he's starting to do some different stuff which I like, and he's trying out of the blue.
08/13/2009
Contributor: In Purrgatory In Purrgatory
Before anyone comments on the totals, it's a skewed sample - you're asking a primarily female (or so it seems) group that frequents a sex forum, of course you're going to get a result that seems like the women are the creative ones.

(Hey, someone's got to stick up for the men! I voted "equal", fwiw.)
08/13/2009
Contributor: Raven Raven
It's definitely me. My hubbie's previous partner was a prude, and that's being generous, so it has always been up to me to be the creative one. But after a few years, he's in the game and has come up with some good stuff on his own a few times.
08/14/2009
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by spicywife
After the thread about Relinquishing Control, it made me wonder if there is any type of pattern in sexual creativity in different relationships.

Who brings more of the sexual creativity to the relationship? ... more
i sure wish i could get my wife to 'invent' more - but the good news is she's open to all the new stuff i like to try - except anal.
08/18/2009
Contributor: LiftedUp LiftedUp
Between my wife and I, it's definitely me. I mean don't get me wrong... occasionally she has a great, creative idea that'll drive me wild, but usually when she does, we're caught thinking "Where did that come from?!" For the most part though, I'm the one with the unending stream of sexually adventurous subconscious thought, which gives birth to new ideas constantly. In fact, I've got a running mental list of ideas and fantasies we haven't even gotten to yet. Fortunately for me, my wife is very open to trying pretty much everything that we come up with.
08/19/2009
Contributor: spicywife spicywife
From the results that I have received, it seems like it's not really a gender issue. I think it's more about your personality and willingness to explore your sexual creativity.
08/19/2009
Contributor: Mrs. Sparks Mrs. Sparks
I agree with spicywife. In our case, I don't know that I'm more creative, but I do know that I'm more vocal about ideas. My husband was raised in a more sexually repressed household, so he almost feels like he needs permission to make suggestions.
08/19/2009
Contributor: Sanjay Sanjay
Let me just say this: Being married to an engineer has its perks
08/23/2009
Contributor: Miss Jane Miss Jane
My boyfriend is very creative.. but it usually gets used up during the day, so by the time he gets in bed he just wants to do whatever and go to sleep. He does have his moments, though.
11/07/2009
Contributor: EffinSara EffinSara
Me, but I am more experienced and more aware of what's out there, even if I haven't done it all
11/07/2009
Contributor: Sir Sir
I do. I tend to introduce all new things, which is understandable, because before me, she had not ever had sex.
11/07/2009
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Sanjay
Let me just say this: Being married to an engineer has its perks
Yeh - maybe that's my excuse. Maybe it's the innate curiosity and interest in things mechanical - lets face it most toys are either overtly mechanical like vibes or are used for mechanical stimulation like didlos!

My wife's 4 orgasms yesterday are testament to how rewarding it can be to be married to an engineer!
11/08/2009
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Hard to say. I like to explore new things but I don't.. create ideas. I'm lazy in that way. I look for what people have already thought up. Although, he's not a big fan of toys so I suppose that makes me more creative.
11/08/2009
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
I usually do everything. Paln little burlesque shows for him to exciting new things to do. He hardly suggests anything at all. It would be nice to have him dance for me for once (I would probably crack up more than be turned on but it would be awesome to have the pace of things change).
11/09/2009
Contributor: her.royal.redness her.royal.redness
Right now I would say I do. But he's... new to just about everything. And as he gains confidence in himself and starts to trust us more as a couple he's already started trying new and interesting things.
11/18/2009
Contributor: ordinaryak ordinaryak
my boyfriend can be quite the prude sometimes lol seriously im like lets have sex somewhere speciel and he will say"how about the bed?" or im always like lets have sex someplace new he will say "ok how about the car in the garage?" seriously those are the only places he ever wants it!!! i say" take me in the shower" and hes like "ok maybe some day" well its been 5 years and somedays never come...
im always the one who has to innitiate all the fun stuff which gets really annoying soemtimes!
02/17/2010
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
At this point its both of us. I've gotten more into trying to try new things, and he's always pushing me (in a good way) to explore and find out what I'm looking for and what could work very well for us as a couple.
02/18/2010
Contributor: Yoda Yoda
It's 99% me. My wife likes all things traditional. I like all things kinky. We meet in the middle.
02/20/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
I had to choose other cause when you add another person into the mix things shift around in sometimes comic ways. Usually when it comes to sexual creativity it is fairly equal between the three of us. We each have our particular kinks and while they tend to overlap we aren't completely wired the same. Sometimes one will come up with an idea that surprises the hell out of the other two but since the guys are hetero I'm usually the beneficiary so I can't complain!
02/21/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
I usually do everything. Paln little burlesque shows for him to exciting new things to do. He hardly suggests anything at all. It would be nice to have him dance for me for once (I would probably crack up more than be turned on but it would be ... more
OMG both guys love to dance for me and it's a RIOT! I try to keep a straight face I really do but damn it's so funny to see my normally straight laced guys just cut loose...it can be hawt as well when they are totally into it.
02/21/2010
Contributor: Bad Bad Girl Bad Bad Girl
Quote:
Originally posted by spicywife
After the thread about Relinquishing Control, it made me wonder if there is any type of pattern in sexual creativity in different relationships.

Who brings more of the sexual creativity to the relationship? ... more
I think that I do, but I think the main reason for that is because Sir sometimes is afraid that his wants are too far. We are both knew to this level of D/s, and still figuring out what works and what doesn't. Often he will discuss an idea or fantasy, just in conversation and I will set it up so we can explore it more.
02/26/2010
Contributor: Gardenvy Gardenvy
Quote:
Originally posted by Sanjay
Let me just say this: Being married to an engineer has its perks
LOL that's great! I've got one of those too
04/16/2010
Contributor: Elodie Elodie
It's mostly me, but that's not at all because he's lacking in creativity, and he's been happy about everything I've wanted to try. I've just always liked telling stories and I guess that translates to sex as well .
04/17/2010
Contributor: joja joja
I'm actually pretty frustrated by my boyfriend's indifference to varying our sexual activities. He is open to trying almost anything, but only if it's something I suggest, and is perfectly happy with the same ol' routine day after day. He does not get my excitement about trying new things.
06/11/2010
Contributor: Ciao. Ciao.
I definitely tend to be more creative than my partner who knows what she likes and doesn't always like to stray from that.
06/15/2010
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
It's like me 2/3rds him the rest.
06/28/2010