The New Intimacy

What would you do with sex toys and furniture when changing partners?

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Contributor: Howells Howells
I'm in a stable long-term but somehow I was thinking that what would you do with the toys and the furniture that are yours, BUT you used them together?

For example when you have a liberator ramp? You know not only married people buy that And it's kinda expensive to buy a new one with every partner. And I just would not throw it out.. What about a vibrator that is yours but you used them on/in your partner? You can wash the liberator. You can clean the toy.

Will you drop them out? Give them to the old partner? Or only if you can't use them? Keep them to collect dust? Would you feel bad uding it again because it reminds you of the ex? All answers provided that nobody had STD's. That would be an entirely different story. Feel free to answer the questions as posts too.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I'm a GIRL and..
36
I'd never use something that was used before me by somebody else.
16
I wouldn't have a problem with it if they were cleaned properly.
16
I'd give them to the old partner if they can use it.
6
I'd keep them in a box stuffed away somewhere.
2
I'd get rid of them.
6
I'm a MAN and..
13
I'd never use them.
1
If it's not a fleshlight just a liberator ramp or something like that, then ok.
8
If it's clean I don't mind.
5
I'd give them to the partner, it's better there.
6
Keeping them, someday they might come in handy.
8
I'd throw them out.
Total votes: 123 (50 voters)
Poll is closed
04/28/2011
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Contributor: cobiffle cobiffle
I just gave her all the toys i know I wouldnt want my next partner to use.
04/28/2011
Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
All the toys we have that she could use are either silicone, stainless or glass. Since they can be sanitized, if the new partner was OK with that then all is good. If not, I can still use them for solo time. Of course my wife is welcome to any that she might want to take.

As far as the my Ramp and Wedge, If needed I would just buy new covers. Honestly though, I see no need for that.
04/28/2011
Contributor: Howells Howells
I'd bo so embarrassed to even talk about this with a new partner. Hey honey would you like to use this? It's been in use for years with my ex. Uhh. Can somebody be okay with that? Even if it's silicone?

However I see the liberator shapes as furniture. I wouldn't change my bed either just because of a new partner. I wash the sheets ^^

Is there already a discussion about this? I couldn't find one.
04/28/2011
Contributor: Cedarlooman Cedarlooman
I would probably keep the toys that were for me, but would give away the toys for the woman. No sense keeping the ones that I wouldn't get as much use out of.
04/28/2011
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
I would definitely keep the toys! I love my babies...lol.
If I got a new partner, I'd probably keep the toys I used with an ex, just for my own usage - unless it could be sterilized.
Even so, I'm sentimental so I'd probably want to keep them seperate to the toys the new partner uses.
04/28/2011
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Luckily this is all theory for me. We're very happily married - but if things changed, I'd give her the toys - they were all purchased for her, so I consider them 'her's'.
04/28/2011
Contributor: married with children married with children
I dont think I will be changing partners anytime soon, but if I was I would not have a problem keeping the swing and bondage gear. But anything else would have to go.
04/29/2011
Contributor: newfoundlust newfoundlust
Quote:
Originally posted by Howells
I'm in a stable long-term but somehow I was thinking that what would you do with the toys and the furniture that are yours, BUT you used them together?

For example when you have a liberator ramp? You know not only married people buy that ... more
We have been married for 23 years, so its unlikely to happen. However, if one of us passed away my guess would be that they would simply get put away for the other's future use whether for private pleasure, pleasure with a new partner, or just as a happy memory.
04/29/2011
Contributor: sexyintexas sexyintexas
Quote:
Originally posted by Howells
I'm in a stable long-term but somehow I was thinking that what would you do with the toys and the furniture that are yours, BUT you used them together?

For example when you have a liberator ramp? You know not only married people buy that ... more
It really depends on what it is, a vibe no, a ramp just clean it well and I wouldn't have a problem with it.
04/29/2011
Contributor: CPTInsanity CPTInsanity
Give the ex the toys as a peace offering. If the breakup was really bad, then just throw them away. If I was dating a new girl and she pulled out an old fleshlight I would be really wondering what kind of shit I'm getting into. I'm all about toys, but I couldn't go for that. In the case of liberator furnature, you can wash the outer shells so your good to go, unless they have some crazy stains on them.
04/29/2011
Contributor: Joie de Cherresse Joie de Cherresse
All the toys we have are MINE, lol... so if we split up, which I hope never happens, they are all coming with me whether he likes it or not, lol.
04/29/2011
Contributor: CuteDee CuteDee
Quote:
Originally posted by Howells
I'm in a stable long-term but somehow I was thinking that what would you do with the toys and the furniture that are yours, BUT you used them together?

For example when you have a liberator ramp? You know not only married people buy that ... more
If I split up w/my bf, Im keeping all the toys. Never had an issue w/new bfs using my toys on me. Bf toys, like cock rings, get thrown out. But hopefully bf and I will stay together... at least for the toys sake! hee hee
04/29/2011
Contributor: hornypoet69 hornypoet69
I honestly have no idea what I would do in this case. I always boil my toys after I use them, in case I should have company that wants to take advantage of my collection But I'm not sure what I would do if I have a partner that I share a lot of toys with, then we break up. Though honestly, considering my growing toy collection and penchant for serial monogamy, I will likely have to deal with this issue. I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
04/29/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
If anything ever were to happen, hmm. All the Liberator stuff can be washed, so I'd just wash it. Anything that I bought for his primary use would go to him, I wouldn't pull out a pocket pussy or a Fleshlight that my husband had used for somebody else to use. All the rest of the toys I bought for myself, and would keep using myself. I'd definitely change the sleeve on the bullet we use together, and I might not bring that one back out, but otherwise, everything else would stay.
04/29/2011
Contributor: liilii080 liilii080
If they were cleaned I wouldn't mind.
04/29/2011
Contributor: Taylor Taylor
I think I would keep most of the toys since they were only used on me. I would not keep things like cock rings because even though they are silicone and could be steilized, I can't imagine my next boyfriend being excited to wear something that someone else wore. I don't have any liborator stuff, but if I did I would probably just wash the cover to it.
04/30/2011
Contributor: Howells Howells
Hmm, when introducing something to the new partner would you tell him/her that it's used? Or just act like it's new. I think the furniture is ok but a vibrator is debatable

Thanks for all the replies and votes!
04/30/2011
Contributor: PiratePrincess PiratePrincess
I'm not sure I would want a used vibrator. Furniture would be okay.
04/30/2011
Contributor: SamsDelight SamsDelight
I have to say that I trashed everything when I got together with my last boyfriend who is now my husband. I never wanted anything I had used with someone else to be used with him. New memories with new toys needed to be made.
05/01/2011
Contributor: Woman China Woman China
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyTimeTim
All the toys we have that she could use are either silicone, stainless or glass. Since they can be sanitized, if the new partner was OK with that then all is good. If not, I can still use them for solo time. Of course my wife is welcome to any that ... more
I agree with this part.

However; if they were bought for me... they are mine. If I bought them for him... they are his. If they were bought together... flip a coin! But I'd try to find a way to make sure that I would win.
01/06/2012
Contributor: mistressg mistressg
I found myself in this situation, and really it all depends but it definitely can be awkward. He requested that I get rid of anything he paid for (a vibrator that I only used with him anyway (never solo), some lubes, some cuffs..) and I kept the rest. The rest was my stuff, and a We-Vibe II which cost $100 and is silicone and we only used it together like 3 or 4 times at the most. Still have it, and that was about a year ago. Haven't actually used it with my partner that I got with after him, though he has shown interest.
01/06/2012
Contributor: SexyStuff SexyStuff
I wouldn't want to use anyone else's used toys, but I'd probably keep mine and things like the liberator that aren't actually inserted I'd just sanitize.
01/06/2012
Contributor: Daemonin Daemonin
If it's mine it's mine, if it's his it's his. I'd clean mine and move on. He can take his and do what he wants with them. If they are toys for both of us, it just depends on what it is and I might use it solo, clean and cover (if it's a ramp) or just hold onto it. I see no reason to throw out or give away something like that unless it is damaged or not mine and I know for a fact I'm not going to use it.
01/06/2012
Contributor: ViVix ViVix
Quote:
Originally posted by Howells
I'm in a stable long-term but somehow I was thinking that what would you do with the toys and the furniture that are yours, BUT you used them together?

For example when you have a liberator ramp? You know not only married people buy that ... more
I couldn't use a second-hand toy...even if it were sterilized. I wouldn't ask my partner to either.
11/16/2012
Contributor: ViVix ViVix
Quote:
Originally posted by Howells
I'd bo so embarrassed to even talk about this with a new partner. Hey honey would you like to use this? It's been in use for years with my ex. Uhh. Can somebody be okay with that? Even if it's silicone?



However I see the ... more
Agreed with the furniture versus toys.
11/16/2012