What's the worst thing you can say in bed?

Contributor: Em & Lo Em & Lo
We wrote an article for Sexis recently called The 10 Worst Things You Can Say in Bed, everything from "Deeper!" to "What?" Check out our full list here -- do you disagree with any? (A very smart reader took issue with #10, "Did you come?") What else would you add??
02/02/2012
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Contributor: Kindred Kindred
Calling the person you're in bed with a name other than their actual name.
02/02/2012
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
I agree with the smart reader that took issue with #10. Especially where stopping half-way through an orgasm is concerned. I think that asking if your partner is satisfied is a good thing. Especially with multi-orgasmic partners.

"oops" is generally not something you want to hear in bed. In fact, "Oops" is possibly the worst thing to hear in bed.
02/02/2012
Contributor: True Pleasures True Pleasures
"I think I'm going to black out..." is another bad thing to say.. I was bent over a fluffy chair and the blood was rushing to my head. Everything was starting to get all sparkly and fading. Needless to say, that killed the mood the rest of the night..
02/02/2012
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
"Why are you getting worked up about a genital sneeze?"

That's only one of the reasons he's an ex-husband.
02/02/2012
Contributor: Silverdrop Silverdrop
"Aren't you done yet?"

"Ow! Ow! Stop!" (during vanilla sex)

"Gah! Wrong hole! Wrong hole!" (often accompanied by 'Ow! Ow! Stop!')

"Please don't breathe in my face." (Let's face it - morning sex has some downsides!)

And of course everyone's favourite...

"The condom broke."
02/02/2012
Contributor: Raym Raym
^ Lol from personal experience. The condom breaking is not fun.
02/02/2012
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
I once said, "Ew." It was one of the first times we had sex after our first baby was born, I wasn't in the mood, and he came all over my chest. He had obviously gone a long time without an orgasm and it was a... hefty ejaculation. I accidentally put my hand into it and without thinking went, "Ew." His feelings were hurt, with good reason.

I'm older and more experienced now. My sex drive is better, too.
02/02/2012
Contributor: Beck Beck
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
I once said, "Ew." It was one of the first times we had sex after our first baby was born, I wasn't in the mood, and he came all over my chest. He had obviously gone a long time without an orgasm and it was a... hefty ejaculation. I ... more
I do that every time. I hate the feeling of it on my skin makes me gag. But I can eat it just fine. Go figure.
02/02/2012
Contributor: Silverdrop Silverdrop
Quote:
Originally posted by Beck
I do that every time. I hate the feeling of it on my skin makes me gag. But I can eat it just fine. Go figure.
On my skin is fine, unless it's my face. Love the idea in fantasy - can't stand it when it actually happens. We tried it a few times to make sure, but I really hate the feel of it on my face.
02/02/2012
Contributor: Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
"Is that it?"

"Are you cumming yet? How about now?"

"Are you in there yet?"

seconding someone else: "The condom broke." and "No! Not in that hole!"

yeah, all from personal experience.
02/02/2012
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Beck
I do that every time. I hate the feeling of it on my skin makes me gag. But I can eat it just fine. Go figure.
Oh, wow.

I actually like the stuff.... usually anywhere. But, this was right after our first baby was born, I wasn't in the mood and....damn, there was a lot of it.

It doesn't bother me otherwise.
02/02/2012
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by Kindred
Calling the person you're in bed with a name other than their actual name.
lmao, *this.
02/02/2012
Contributor: EnChAnTiNg EnChAnTiNg
You're done already?

Seems like it makes a man feel that he didn't finish the job!
02/02/2012
Contributor: ninja250 ninja250
Lol "you're done already?" is bad
02/02/2012
Contributor: bayosgirl bayosgirl
"You look like you've put on some weight"
02/02/2012
Contributor: Moein Moein
I think the most hard word for woman is: "Your Butt becomes bigger"
02/03/2012
Contributor: slynch slynch
Your mom likes it like that too.
02/03/2012
Contributor: Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
Quote:
Originally posted by True Pleasures
"I think I'm going to black out..." is another bad thing to say.. I was bent over a fluffy chair and the blood was rushing to my head. Everything was starting to get all sparkly and fading. Needless to say, that killed the mood the rest ... more
Well, if you're actually about to black out, it's best that you don't keep it to yourself. Want to keep those brain cells intact for next time, yes?

There's one I heard on Whose Line Is It Anyway? on this very topic: "Could you hand me the yeast infection cream, honey?"
02/03/2012
Contributor: married with children married with children
I would agree with using the wrong name.
02/04/2012
Contributor: teachmetouchme teachmetouchme
Quote:
Originally posted by Kindred
Calling the person you're in bed with a name other than their actual name.
Do you mean calling "David" by the name of "Richard" or do you mean using names like, "babycakes", "sweetie", "honey", etc?
02/05/2012
Contributor: SMichelle SMichelle
I once had a guy tell me that my ass was "squishy" and that he loved it. Okay, loving my ass was nice, but "squishy"? It sort of ruined my mood... Telling me that you love my ass is hot, telling me that my ass is squishy is a huge turn off.
02/05/2012
Contributor: Snozzberries Snozzberries
I know the worst thing said while my husband and I were playing around, but it wasn't said by either of us.



"Mommy? Daddy? What are you doing?"
02/05/2012
Contributor: GONE! GONE!
If someone used the word "moist" in bed with me I would make a face.
02/05/2012
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by Em & Lo
We wrote an article for Sexis recently called The 10 Worst Things You Can Say in Bed, everything from "Deeper!" to "What?" Check out our full list here -- do you disagree with any? (A very smart reader took issue with #10, ... more
Those are the typical don'ts, but there were a few... like the one that said don't make it obvious when you're trying to "replicate a moment with an ex... first of all, if you're going to be replicating a moment with an EX, what the hell would you be doing in bed with someone else. That's just wrong even if you do keep it secret! Lol. I go for making new "moments" instead.

Also, a few of those things really don't bother my partner and I. Like singing a little of the song that's playing, not a big deal. Singing the entire time, no! Lol. However, a little fun is important too and even times where laughter happens isn't bad just because sex is happening too. Not for us anyways. As for the hair and smells... I don't want my partner to totally let loose and not care! I would try not to just let loose either. Say someone has to... let out some air... it happens, but if you can somehow make it to the bathroom right quick, that's very much appreciated. LOL
02/05/2012
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
"Why are you getting worked up about a genital sneeze?"

That's only one of the reasons he's an ex-husband.
Bahaha! OMG that was hilarious, but I can imagine it wasn't to you. Genital sneeze was a funny way to say it though!
02/05/2012
Contributor: godweensatan godweensatan
Anything that involves taking a shit would not be good. No one likes poop while fucking.
02/05/2012
Contributor: BrittaniMaree BrittaniMaree
Calling the person you're in bed with a different name god that would be soooo awkward
09/27/2012