I don't think anything, honestly. I wish that there was an "other" option. It's a person's choice to have sex or not have sex - being a virgin is not some great feat, but not being a virgin is not a great feat either. I do not think anything of a person based on whether they've had intercourse or not! less

Most adults that I know who are still virgins are waiting for the right person. Some have religious reasons, while others have different types of reasons unrelated to morality. I dont usually judge these people,but I do think that they are very strong willed and know how to keep to their plans, if that is the reason for them still being virgins. less

I don't like to judge people (but I will ) I have posted on Em&Lo a lot, and there has been a LOT of talk about the "value" of "saving" your virginity by some of the posters.

I think it's something with a false value. I mean, if you are a child, yes, nobody should "take it from you." But, IMO, sexual activity is part of being an adult. I don't understand being 30 years old and "still waiting for the 'right' man." This woman is going to be TERRIBLY disappointed when she doesn't see fireworks and isn't dazzled with her first time. Not that anyone should just screw the first person who comes around, but there is a difference between making a good choice, at the proper time, and making excuses for EVERY SINGLE PERSON one dates. If someone is in their mid 20s or beyond and still "can't find the right person" just to have some sex with and NEVER has, I think there are issue beyond their dating pool.

I understand when people are ending a relationship, they may need some time Celibate just to recover and get better, but I think if someone hasn't "found the right one" by the time they are finished with their education, there is probably a problem. There are always exceptions to the rule. I met a woman who was working on her PhD and honestly, simply had been so busy since High School, she hadn't had time for relationships. Although I managed through a B.S and and M.S degree while fucking my brains out, I DO understand this woman's dedication to her work. She also got busy with sex as soon as she had that dissertation finished!

I don't know about being "closeted" or "asexual." Nor are all the adult virgins I know "unattractive" (and many people who may not be classically "attractive" have healthy and happy sex lives.) Most of the adult virgins I know have VERY inappropriate expectations about sex, and are also very uninformed about sex. Like "only sluts have sex before marriage" or "if a man loves you, he will wait for YEARS until you are 'ready' and if he won't wait, he doesn't love you." and "anyone who has had sex with more than one person is sick" and "sex is only for marriage and making humans." The Madonna Whore Complex also plays a big part in a LOT of adult virgins choices.

I think one needs to test drive to see what works. I wouldn't buy a car without several test drives, I wouldn't buy a house without walk throughs and a complete inspection, I wouldn't choose a long term partner without KNOWING how they are in the sack.

Sex is an important part of being an adult, and I DO wonder about the maturity level of people who are finished with school, working, out in the world (or maybe just adults in age without all this stuff) and still find excuses to find time for the most lovely thing in life....making love to an other person.

Mileage etc. less

I waited to find the "right person" until the mid to late 20s, and I don't think that I lost a great deal. Yes, it would have been nice if we'd met earlier, but we didn't. No, the first time wasn't beyond compare, but it was pretty good and I'd suspect that anyone's first time would be a little clumsy because they're trying to get everything figured out.

Personally I don't worry about it. It's their choice, none of my business. less

Seriously, why does this even matter? I am sure it was not the intention of the discussion to be judgemental in a bad way, but personally I find the options to do just that. People define virginity in many different and perosnal ways and everyone's reasons for staying a virgin are also different and personal. What right do I have to judge them? I don't, I respect their decisions.

I am not surprised at all that this poll had offended several people. less