^ Not trying to ream on people who are insecure. It's perfectly understandable to feel insecure after your body has been through so many changes. It's just that in my experience, people these days worry way more about their bodies than they did in previous generations. less

I feel that society has really perpetuated the importance of being thin. With pop culture we're bombarded with women who wear sample sizes. My mother's generation had women such as Marilyn Monroe (she peaked at a size 16) to aspire to be like, unfortunately, I'm stuck with Nicole Kidman or Nicole Richie.. the truly rubenesque women of our time like Kim Kardashian, lie to the tabloids and report that they're a size 4 or 6 when they're clearly a 12 or 14 - which does nothing to help the suburban wives or urban teen girls.

All the celebrity magazines report stars as losing the baby weight a merely 4, 6, or 12 weeks after they gave birth. That is unrealistic for women that cannot afford personal trainers or personal nutritionists. You make do with what you can. 5 years later and I'm still struggling, hormones fluctuate and an increase of estrogen creates the opportunity to binge on comfort food to quell my nerves and sedate all my stressors.


As far as the changing bodies go, I have a 4 year old. I realized the first day after delivery I was never going to get my body back. The episiotomy, leaking breasts, and soft stomach let me know that sex was never going to be the same and it's not. Even after repeated kegel exercises and gym time, dietary plans, I don't feel or look like that same flexible, thin woman I once used to be. I have bags under my eyes from the everyday worrying over my son and love handles from the constant request of Mac N Cheese. less

Hey readers, Petra here--writer and creator of Sex and The Suburbs. Today we discuss moms and body image issues--UGH. If you are anything like me, this is a big issue in the bedroom. Tell me what you think about the article and share your stories with me so that we can get into this topic further in the future. What are your biggest insecurities? How have you overcome them or dealt with them? What's your favorite sexual position? (OK, that one has nothing to do with body image, but whatever). You can e-mail me at sexandthesuburbs2009@g mail.com if you want to remain anonymous or leave me a comment here.

Also feel free to send me ANY other stories, experiences or questions you may have. This column is for you, so I want to know what YOU want to know. What else should be talk about and pick apart? BDSM? Threesomes? Sexless marriage? YOU tell me and I will write about it.

Thanks for reading and let's get this discussion going! less

I don't recall ever being embarrassed by the way my body looked after giving birth. What I DO remember is my husband not coming near me for about 6 months after my oldest was born. I neary left him becasue I felt so unwanted and undesired. Years later, he said he was afraid I'd get pregnant again (total bullshit)

My way of thinking was, you are part of the reason why my body looks like this, so get over it. I also think my husband as fooling around with other women throughout our marriage. I have no proof of this, with the exception of the last one (which is why we're no longer married).

Happily, I've been with a man for the past 3 years who thinks I'm quite sexy and wants to play with me all the time! Such a change from the married years!!!
For years, I put up with the man who was tired, had a fever, a headache, yada, yada, yada, and that was when he was young! Now, with my "significant other", we play often! I never used a sex toy until the past few years (wouldn't dream if it when I was married!) Who knew how fun and what a turn-on that could be! I'm having more fun and more sex now, in my 50s, than I did in the past 27 years. Go figure!

And to hell with the saggy boobs and the saggy belly! I love him with his "pregnant belly", he can love me with my mom body. less

Hey readers, Petra here--writer and creator of Sex and The Suburbs. Today we discuss moms and body image issues--UGH. If you are anything like me, this is a big issue in the bedroom. Tell me what you think about the article and share your stories with me so that we can get into this topic further in the future. What are your biggest insecurities? How have you overcome them or dealt with them? What's your favorite sexual position? (OK, that one has nothing to do with body image, but whatever). You can e-mail me at sexandthesuburbs2009@g mail.com if you want to remain anonymous or leave me a comment here.

Also feel free to send me ANY other stories, experiences or questions you may have. This column is for you, so I want to know what YOU want to know. What else should be talk about and pick apart? BDSM? Threesomes? Sexless marriage? YOU tell me and I will write about it.

Thanks for reading and let's get this discussion going! less

My son is 20 now but I remember the first time I looked at my abdomen after giving birth. I was horrified! It looked saggy, squishy and wrinkly like I might expect on an 80 year old. I can remember tucking in a shirt and not being able to tell by feel whether it was skin or shirt that needed more tucking in. Gross.

And I remember 2 months afterward, thinking that I was sort of back to my former size, trying on shorts that were big on me pre-pregnancy. I couldn't get them above my thighs as my husband stood by laughing.

And by a cruel trick of fate, after I stopped breastfeeding, my breast shrank back to a size far smaller than their pre-pregnant size.

Thankfully, after 20 years of exercise, I once again have a great abdomen. No more babies for me. less