The New Intimacy

Virgins & the Sexually Inexperienced: Do You Judge?

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Contributor: christyfuntime89 christyfuntime89
I'll be 30 this year and openly admit I'm still a virgin. I've dated, but nothing ever progressed to a relationship. It's not that I never wanted sex (quite the opposite actually, lol), I just never met someone I felt comfortable enough to have sex with.

Do you judge virgins? How about if they're not, but they've only had one or two sexual partners? Based on my own experiences, in this day and age, a lot of people tend to get weirded out if they find you're either a virgin or inexperienced. They think you're either some kind of religious fanatic and trying to being morally superior, or something's wrong with you or that you're just plain weird.

Thoughts?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
RonLee
1
Gunsmoke , ReverieReviews
2
christyfuntime89 , Orgasms & Pearls , Soundside46 , OH&W, Lovebears , GingerAnn , SoloRebel
6
Total votes: 9 (9 voters)
Poll is open
03/24/2019
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Contributor: Orgasms & Pearls Orgasms & Pearls
I definitely agree, that with people in today’s age expect someone of that age to be well expierneced or at least expierneced.

To me tho, it’s who to judge, if you haven’t found the right person to do the deed with them that’s for your life.

I think that if you explained that to the right guy tho, it wouldn’t matter.
03/26/2019
Contributor: christyfuntime89 christyfuntime89
Quote:
Originally posted by Orgasms & Pearls
I definitely agree, that with people in today’s age expect someone of that age to be well expierneced or at least expierneced.

To me tho, it’s who to judge, if you haven’t found the right person to do the deed with them that’s for your ... more
Thanks for your response! I appreciate it.
It's always an awkward conversation to have with a date tbh. But hopefully, somehow, some way...some day, I'll find a decent guy.
03/27/2019
Contributor: OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
Nothing to think, worry or be concerned about what so ever. Not everybody wants someone for sex. Dating is to get to know someone. If later it leads to sex, fine. Dating is not and should not be for getting sex. If someone is right for you, then fine. If one had more experience it shouldn't matter either. If one of the two is hung up on it, then maybe move on. Better to find the right person than accept just anyone.

Excuse me if I'm off topic.
03/28/2019
Contributor: christyfuntime89 christyfuntime89
Quote:
Originally posted by OH&W, Lovebears
Nothing to think, worry or be concerned about what so ever. Not everybody wants someone for sex. Dating is to get to know someone. If later it leads to sex, fine. Dating is not and should not be for getting sex. If someone is right for you, then ... more
Thank you for your response. I appreciate it very much.

No you're not off the topic, you're fine. I know what you're trying to say. And I agree. That's why I'm still waiting. The right person needs to come along before I do anything.
03/29/2019
Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
I really don't see what's there to judge. We all had our beginnings, and age should not be a relevant point. It is never too late to find the person you enjoy being with, and who cares how long it takes? If you need time, take time.

I understand how that might be an awkward conversation, especially for our times. But I also believe this is the time when we are so acceptive of everyone's experiences - yours is just as valid and deserved all kinds of understanding and respect.

Whether or not you've had sex doesn't speak to what kind of a person you are - your decision to wait does, and that's what matters.
04/01/2019
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Certainly there is no reason to judge - but a strong and vigorous sex life is so integral to who I am and who we are as a couple that it's hard to imagine doing without.

My wife has a quite stressful job and use to avoid sex thinking she needed the time to 'recover'. With a bit of tutoring from me - and copious numbers of orgasms - she sees the sex as her recovery time.

It's jut not in your head - if you read about the cascade of hormones that are produced during and after sex, the positive results are actually based on science as much as observation.

How does the old saying go "Try it you'll love it!"
04/03/2019
Contributor: RonLee RonLee
I admit that I'm quite judgmental about becoming intimate with a virgin, I just won't. Think ill of me if you want to but wait for the explanation.

Being someone's very first sex partner carries so much responsibility that I'm not sure that I could do it. As much as I may have a high opinion of myself, I don't think that even I could be as sensitive and patient as need be with someone who has never experienced sex before.

In my youth I have been the first with several virgins and I know being the first man "down there" is quite a bit of work too.
04/03/2019
Contributor: christyfuntime89 christyfuntime89
Quote:
Originally posted by GingerAnn
I really don't see what's there to judge. We all had our beginnings, and age should not be a relevant point. It is never too late to find the person you enjoy being with, and who cares how long it takes? If you need time, take time.

I ... more
Thank you for your response, I appreciate it very much.

I agree whole-heartedly with what you've said.

I personally don't think anyone should judge anyone based on how much sex they've had or if they've even had sex at all. Unfortunately, I've come across so much judgement, it's starting to get me down. If anything, it makes me NOT want to lose my v-card even more, because it just shows how few patient and respectful people are really out there, you know?

It stinks. Considering I had hoped to be married and with a family by now, the whole thing just makes me sad. Why is it so hard to meet decent people? Has it always been like this?
04/04/2019
Contributor: christyfuntime89 christyfuntime89
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
Certainly there is no reason to judge - but a strong and vigorous sex life is so integral to who I am and who we are as a couple that it's hard to imagine doing without.

My wife has a quite stressful job and use to avoid sex thinking she ... more
Thank you for responding, I appreciate it!

I understand what you're saying, there's numerous benefits to having a healthy sex life. It isn't that I never wanted to try it, if anything its always been the opposite.

But as I was just telling GingerAnn, its been a nightmare finding a decent person just to date and get to know in general as a potential romantic partner.

I seriously still get nightmares from my time dating. I haven't been on a date in a few years now. And truthfully, as much as I'd like to return to dating the thought of it gets me so uncomfortable and kind of physically sick.
04/04/2019
Contributor: christyfuntime89 christyfuntime89
Quote:
Originally posted by RonLee
I admit that I'm quite judgmental about becoming intimate with a virgin, I just won't. Think ill of me if you want to but wait for the explanation.

Being someone's very first sex partner carries so much responsibility that ... more
Hi, thanks for responding, I appreciate it.

I don't think ill of you at all. A lot of people feel the way you do. No judgements here.
04/04/2019
Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
I think, the main question is how do you feel about being a virgin. If you are self-conscious about it, all the wrong people will sense that. If, on the other hand, you feel confident and sure of your choices, no one will ever dare to judge you.
04/08/2019
Contributor: SoloRebel SoloRebel
Don't sweat it. It's not your problem and there's not a damn thing wrong with being a virgin or a "late bloomer". It's not a big deal...don't beat yourself up with it...it'll happen. You'll find the right one, just give it time.
04/09/2019
Contributor: christyfuntime89 christyfuntime89
Quote:
Originally posted by GingerAnn
I think, the main question is how do you feel about being a virgin. If you are self-conscious about it, all the wrong people will sense that. If, on the other hand, you feel confident and sure of your choices, no one will ever dare to judge you. ... more
I feel pretty confident tbh. Considering the men I've coming across dating, I'm glad I decided to hold off.
04/12/2019
Contributor: christyfuntime89 christyfuntime89
Quote:
Originally posted by SoloRebel
Don't sweat it. It's not your problem and there's not a damn thing wrong with being a virgin or a "late bloomer". It's not a big deal...don't beat yourself up with it...it'll happen. You'll find the right one, just give it time.
Thanks, I appreciate it. I hope so.
04/12/2019