I can sympathize - luckily for me after 15+ years of obligatory sex, my wife finally decided 'get into it'! The change has been fantastic. When I inquired about the change she just said that she decided to seize the opportunity. I believe she started hearing from her girlfriends how their husbands had lost interest in sex - and how frustrating that was for them. Rather than risk me loosing interest - she decided to stoke my interest.

Not sure I can claim any effect - except that I never stopped pushing - albeit gently. less

This is a good place to look for ideas. I’ve seen other discussions on the topic and make every effort to read the threads. I’ve had similar issues over the years for many reasons. I think the general concession is every woman is different. There are so many factors that can affect sex drive it’s overwhelming. Some of the answers I’ve seen are, medication, illness, stress, kids, lack of sleep, time, weight, poor body image, lack of knowledge and the list goes on and on. Many of the mentioned can adjust your hormone levels, which is something she may want to speak with her doctor about. I would also ask the doctor about some of the herbal remedies available on the market before I would jump to a prescription medication. If there is no medical reason for her lack of drive, she needs to see what she is missing. Sex just isn’t about the orgasm. There are so many things to enjoy and discover. Ask her to check out EF, this is a safe place to ask questions, read reviews on toys and learn about sex and what new things may turn her on. Has she ever been spanked, tied up, blindfolded and tickled? How about porn? It’s not what it used to be and may-be there is something new out there she would like. I would also encourage her to masturbate either alone or in front of you. You said you have kids? Tell your wife you’re taking them out for pizza and she needs to sit in a warm bath with a new vibe and a mirror. Let her find what turns her on. Try some of the lotions for women’s pink parts to fire them up. You could also just give up on having “sex” with her and just be intimate. Kids in bed, lights low, bedroom warm, massage candle, tell her to strip and give her a full body massage with no sex. On that idea you could also look into a yoni massage that you can do or someone else can do. Yep, you can go to any number of locations and have a woman give your wife a yoni massage. Best of luck and I hope more people in the community give you some ideas. There are some great people in this community who I’m sure have more ideas to share. less

This bothers me that nobody has suggested it since its usually first in EVERY problem thread..
Have you honestly just privately talked to her and asked her why she does not enjoy sex? Make it clear that you're trying to make it better for her, and maybe once she notices she will put in some effort as well? Just ask what she would like to do, what she needs from you, and see how it goes?

The doctor is a good option. But not many women can, while in stirrups with an old man's head 'tween their legs say what their issues are. Honestly every time I go to the Gyno I'm in too much shock to do anything more than answer whatever he asks, and sometimes not even that. So, try asking her what she would like and make it clear that you are trying for her sake. Maybe she has some issues from her childhood or something, maybe she was raised to think sex is dirty, there are thousands of problems there could be that are her internal problems and you may be able to help, but not if you don't ask and find out what they are. less

My wife had really poor sex drive. Her family also has a history of depression. She tried a number of antidepressants and Welbutrin works well for her. Since the depression is under control the mood swings are almost gone. It makes sense that an antidepresant helps the sex drive because it makes the chemicals in the nervous system work like they are supposed to. A depressed person has a nervous system that is broken for some reason, it is not something that a person can wish away. It is just like a broken leg, if that bone is broken you need to fix it. In most depressed people the correct chemicals are in their nervous system but they only work part time. An antidepresant makes the chemicals that are there already complete the job they start.

Since my wife switched to her current medication she is much more orgasmic, she had them before but now multiples are almost commonplace and never had them before. Sex also picked up alot after I had a vasectomy, the lack of that concern seemed to be a big deal. less