I recently read an article in The New York Times about parents allowing their teenage children to have sex in the home and those that would not allow it. The New York Times. Would you allow your teenage children to have sex in your home?
Would you allow your teenage children to have sex in your home?
08/14/2011
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No way....
08/14/2011
I don't see why not given that they were safe about it. They're going to find somewhere to have sex regardless.
I feel like by not allowing it I would in someways giving them the idea that there is something wrong with having sex. Which there's not. My only concern as a parent would be them getting pregnant or getting someone else pregnant and as long as they were having safe sex then that risk is reduced considerably.
So for me it would be a non issue.
I feel like by not allowing it I would in someways giving them the idea that there is something wrong with having sex. Which there's not. My only concern as a parent would be them getting pregnant or getting someone else pregnant and as long as they were having safe sex then that risk is reduced considerably.
So for me it would be a non issue.
08/14/2011
I think, for me, the child would have to be in a committed, monogamous relationship for me to consider it. Even then, it would probably be a really hard sell.
08/14/2011
I'm not a parent, but I am unsure. From what I remember of my own time as a teenager I would've done it anyway, just somewhere less safe... but I'd be uncomfortable having it happen under my own roof, too.
08/14/2011
I wouldn't encourage any teenager to have sex, especially my own.. but it'd be hypocritical of me to tell them they couldn't so, as long as they were safe and not loud about it.. I guess I wouldn't have a huge problem.
08/14/2011
Hmm...I am not sure about this. I am thinking that I might depending on the specific kid and their relationships.
08/14/2011
I'm on the fence about it. I think parents should be open with their kids about it and be open with them about safe sex emotionally and physically, but I could see how it would get awkward if the parents were home.
08/14/2011
I definitely would, it's better than them doing it somewhere else. I seriously don't understand why a parent would have a problem with it, but my mom raised me very openly and believed in open communication when it came to sex. She always said that she would rather me have sex where she knew I would be safe than trying to sneak around doing it.
08/14/2011
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As an adult, my mother wouldn't let my boyfriend (at the time) and I sleep in the same room --- let alone the same bed, until we were married.
Originally posted by
ToyBoy
I definitely would, it's better than them doing it somewhere else. I seriously don't understand why a parent would have a problem with it, but my mom raised me very openly and believed in open communication when it came to sex. She always
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I definitely would, it's better than them doing it somewhere else. I seriously don't understand why a parent would have a problem with it, but my mom raised me very openly and believed in open communication when it came to sex. She always said that she would rather me have sex where she knew I would be safe than trying to sneak around doing it.
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08/14/2011
My dad and mom both allow me and my 16-year-old brother to. LOL
08/15/2011
If they were responsible and committed! It's better than behind the school or in a restroom!
08/15/2011
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I don't know about "committed", but if they were responsible. And responsibility is largely fostered through education, often by parents. And it's better to have a "safe place" to go than out somewhere where they can get carjacked or something.
Originally posted by
Ryuson
If they were responsible and committed! It's better than behind the school or in a restroom!
08/15/2011
No. I wasn't allowed to and so it deterred me from having sex at least some of the time as a teen. This is STILL the rule in my home, although my my mom is probably not naive about the fact that things happen behind closed doors (by dad is oblivious). I did it with every boyfriend of mine in the house, but it was usually when they were not home or asleep. I'll have the same rules for my children.
08/15/2011
No because I wouldn't want my teenagers having sex, period!
08/15/2011
I would consider it... with a "no" in the wings.
08/15/2011
My knee jerk reaction is to say NO WAY! But, I don't have any kids, so I really can't imagine how I'd feel if I actually had a teenager.
08/15/2011
My first instinct is to say no right away, but I know that if I wanted to have sex when I was a teenager, I just found someplace to do it. However when sex happened in homes with parents home, it was usually with them in bed. Sometimes we got lucky and there were no parents home. I think I would be more strict about a child who's under 18 having sex, but as long as they're being safe and not just getting up in the middle of a public area and saying "ok, we're going to go have sex now", while I don't think I'd necessarily be happy about it, I don't think it would be the end of the world.
08/15/2011
This issue has never occurred in my household. My daughter didn't have a steady boyfriend when she was underage. My 16 years old son has asperger, so he's not going after girls any time soon.
08/15/2011
That's an interesting question. I'm not a parent, so I can't pretend to know how I would really feel if the time came. My parents didn't allow a closed door when my boyfriend came over, but we still managed to make out. But, my parents also placed a great deal of importance on saving sex for the right person (not necessarily marriage), and about the responsibility that comes with getting pregnant before I'm ready, so that was a huge deterrent for me to even have sex until I went to college.
Fast forward 8 years later, I'm working for EdenFantasys with an encyclopedia-like knowledge of porn... Awesome!
Fast forward 8 years later, I'm working for EdenFantasys with an encyclopedia-like knowledge of porn... Awesome!
08/15/2011
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That's how it was for me, too, Jaimes! My mother made sex seem important, but not necessarily something I had to wait until marriage for. I didn't have sex until college either.
Originally posted by
Jaimes
That's an interesting question. I'm not a parent, so I can't pretend to know how I would really feel if the time came. My parents didn't allow a closed door when my boyfriend came over, but we still managed to make out. But, my
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more
That's an interesting question. I'm not a parent, so I can't pretend to know how I would really feel if the time came. My parents didn't allow a closed door when my boyfriend came over, but we still managed to make out. But, my parents also placed a great deal of importance on saving sex for the right person (not necessarily marriage), and about the responsibility that comes with getting pregnant before I'm ready, so that was a huge deterrent for me to even have sex until I went to college.
Fast forward 8 years later, I'm working for EdenFantasys with an encyclopedia-like knowledge of porn... Awesome! less
Fast forward 8 years later, I'm working for EdenFantasys with an encyclopedia-like knowledge of porn... Awesome! less
08/15/2011
No way! My daughter is only 4, but looking toward the future...NO!
08/15/2011
To those who said "no way": I know that it is very possible to teach your kids good judgement and, with some good influence, they may choose not to have sex as their own personal choice. However, given that that is frequently not the case, suppose you have a good reason to believe that your (real or hypothetical) son/daughter is interested in having sex or already having sex despite your discouragement. Would you reconsider your answer to the OP's question? Would it be better to keep that rule for your house, considering your son/daughter is probably doing it less safely elsewhere anyway- or would it be better to allow it so that it is safer and still convey the message that you would still prefer if they abstain? Maybe these are things you already thought about and your answer is still "no way". If so, please explain!
08/15/2011
yes, I'd rather they are in a safe clean environment where the cops won't arrest them instead of other options. Is it ideal? no, I'd rather they not have sex but I'm not going to deny them a safe place.
08/15/2011
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this is how I was raised also I plan to raise my son the same way.
Originally posted by
ToyBoy
I definitely would, it's better than them doing it somewhere else. I seriously don't understand why a parent would have a problem with it, but my mom raised me very openly and believed in open communication when it came to sex. She always
...
more
I definitely would, it's better than them doing it somewhere else. I seriously don't understand why a parent would have a problem with it, but my mom raised me very openly and believed in open communication when it came to sex. She always said that she would rather me have sex where she knew I would be safe than trying to sneak around doing it.
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08/15/2011
I want to be open but I just cant let my child have sex unless she is 19 and having safe sex.
08/16/2011
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I have thought about that, and my answer is still no. Why? Well, consider if my teen were smoking cigarettes with friends who also used drugs. Should I let them smoke at home so as to avoid the chance of them getting into drugs? No. I don't approve of smoking, period, so I wouldn't allow it anywhere on my property. I would have a discussion with him or her and let them know the reasons for the rule. I believe it's important for parents to openly communicate with their kids. I also believe in rules and boundaries. If they happen to suffer consequences because of their disobedience...I'm sorry to say, but that's tough luck, it's how life works.
Originally posted by
meganthomas
To those who said "no way": I know that it is very possible to teach your kids good judgement and, with some good influence, they may choose not to have sex as their own personal choice. However, given that that is frequently not the case,
...
more
To those who said "no way": I know that it is very possible to teach your kids good judgement and, with some good influence, they may choose not to have sex as their own personal choice. However, given that that is frequently not the case, suppose you have a good reason to believe that your (real or hypothetical) son/daughter is interested in having sex or already having sex despite your discouragement. Would you reconsider your answer to the OP's question? Would it be better to keep that rule for your house, considering your son/daughter is probably doing it less safely elsewhere anyway- or would it be better to allow it so that it is safer and still convey the message that you would still prefer if they abstain? Maybe these are things you already thought about and your answer is still "no way". If so, please explain!
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I feel the same way about sex. Call me a prude, but to me sex is an adult act-and 15 or 16 or even 17 isn't an adult. If they feel they're ready at 18, that's a decision they can make for themselves. I still don't know if I would feel comfortable with them getting it on in my house.
08/16/2011
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I am really torn about this one as my girls are entering their teenage years and while they are currently not interested in sex I know it's just a matter of time. I don't think I will balk at my adult chidren sleeping with their partners but teenagers???!!??? *sigh* I will have no hairby the end of this period I just know it.
Originally posted by
Booktease
I recently read an article in The New York Times about parents allowing their teenage children to have sex in the home and those that would not allow it. The New York Times. Would you allow your teenage children to have sex in your home?
...
more
I recently read an article in The New York Times about parents allowing their teenage children to have sex in the home and those that would not allow it. The New York Times. Would you allow your teenage children to have sex in your home?
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08/16/2011
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You see? I have thought about that....maybe if I can't hear it I wouldn't be so squicked? I mean I want them to be safe and t be sure they are using protection both for their health and for their future plans (we don't treat pregnancy like a disease in our house but as a planned decision) so I am realy really torn.
Originally posted by
~LaUr3n~
No. I wasn't allowed to and so it deterred me from having sex at least some of the time as a teen. This is STILL the rule in my home, although my my mom is probably not naive about the fact that things happen behind closed doors (by dad is
...
more
No. I wasn't allowed to and so it deterred me from having sex at least some of the time as a teen. This is STILL the rule in my home, although my my mom is probably not naive about the fact that things happen behind closed doors (by dad is oblivious). I did it with every boyfriend of mine in the house, but it was usually when they were not home or asleep. I'll have the same rules for my children.
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08/16/2011
That's really tough. I wasn't allowed to, and I didn't...until I met my current boyfriend. We did it in my house all the time. Usually when my dad was gone or asleep. I think I would do the same as my father and hope that my kid can hold off the sex in the house until they've found someone to be in a committed relationship with. Who knows, I won't allow it but if it stays like that..who knows.
08/22/2011
Total posts: 46
Unique posters: 40
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