Have you considered trusting your partner enough to believe what she says about her sexual desires? If she says it's because your size is bothering her, I think it's really questionable to assume she's hiding something and not telling you the truth. If this is truly the case, there is more about your relationship that you may want to evaluate. Additionally, where are you getting this bizarre information about "most lesbians" not enjoying penetration? That is patently untrue. Lesbians, like people of any other sexual orientation, are individuals with individual preferences when it comes to sexual stimulation. I'm not entirely sure why you would believe otherwise.

More foreplay will help her open up. I had a really large partner a few years ago, and it took quite a while before I was capable of taking him in without being uncomfortable. For the most part, extra foreplay and him being really slow and careful is what did it-but I had to stretch out.

I little bit ago I had a similar experience. Every time I had sex it hurt really bad and I couldn't figure it out for about a week or two. But I was still horny and I wanted to have sex so I kept trying but it kept hurting and I didn't understand it at all. I finally turned out that I was just really dry down there and need some lube with a moisturizer everything. Foreplay helps because it makes a girl wet so shes lubed but if she isn't lubed enough then it hurts because it gets raw an irritated. I hadn't been using any lube for a long time and it didn't bother me at first but it ended up hurting later because I was really raw and dried out.

Also it could be that you are pushing on her cervix, some girls like it but it can hurt and be uncomfortable if pressed on to hard. It might be that you are to long and are pressing her cervix, in this case I can only recommend not thrusting all the way in.

In any case you guys should have sex and while you are having sex you should tell her to tell you where it hurts and what hurts. If she's ok with it you should get a little flashlight and check out what's down there for her to. I have hurt before and had my man looked down there and found a cut or a gash, it could just be something as simple as that. If this just flared up for her to it might be a good idea to see a gynecologist and get herself checked out just to be sure there's nothing weird going on. The best thing to do though is try to have sex and have her talk about how it feels as you are having sex with her.

If she is totally closed to the idea of sex and doesn't even want to try then she might be have some psychological reason for suddenly rejecting you. If she's had bad experiences with sex in the past she might be more reactionary to a little pain during sex and you might have to just take it slow and make sure she feels ok every step of the way.

Thanks guys. We are in talks. It's not easy...obviously there's several issues at hand and there's lots that can not be posted here as well. But thank you all for some great advice.

Oh god I am gonna get banned for this, but hit the gym for two weeks straight, come home toned and buy a bag of weed. Works wonders!

But seriously, we have gone through periods where one of us finds the other less physically attractive, or get less interested in sex. And from my personal experience, when one of you is a bit fed up with the other, or is finding the other less attractive, talk isn't always the answer.

I always say make a small life change. Join a club, find a hobby, exercise, buy a fleshlight (I did when we could't have sex for 6 months). It keeps things interesting. If the problem really is discomfort, try spending one night stretching gently with lots of lube and some toys a bit bigger than you, the next night it might be more comfy.

My advice is worth what you paid for it

Lube helps sometimes. I remember when we used to do anal, it was actually easier. But yes, sometimes I do hit her cervix. That's a bitter sweet one cause sometimes she enjoyed the tapping there and founding arousing, other times she didn't like it.

If you haven't been using lube, you might want to give it a try... or try using a different kind (like silicone instead of water). Also... try looking up some positions that will give you a shallower stroke that might be more comfortable for her.

I went through a phase where vaginal sex was a little uncomfortable. Maybe some of it was psychological (I was pretty depressed, or was it that I was stressed at that time?). Or maybe it was entirely physical. I felt discomfort mostly at the vaginal opening. I still occasionally have the problem and lube helps only sometimes and I take a longer warm-up. Some days (a woman's insides changes with her cycle), He hits too far and my cervix feels like it gets beat up. My partner is close to your size (about 8 inches, width also similar), so maybe that last situation is more close to your girl's situation? I suggest trying to deal with it for now, it may just be a phase. See if she can please you in other ways until it passes. Also, see if shallow thrusts are OK? Try to understand where it's uncomfortable in her.

She's not showing hints that she has problems with you out of the bedroom? If she isn't, you probably don't have to worry about her not loving you anymore!!

Relax and communicate! I just caught a recent post and edited. Sound like you are working through stuff. I wish you the best!

She read thru all of these last night and it sparked off some really great conversation. Thank you everyone.

It was easier to have her read this and then talk instead of talking first. Lol

Odds are it actually does hurt, and sex that hurts or is uncomfortable is a complete turn off. Perhaps try more foreplay to get her loosened up a bit and make sure there's enough lubrication.

I sort of have a similar problem myself and I assume that the situation is the result of several factors combined.
For instance. My sweetheart is also bigger than average and it may really cause some inconvenience. Also I've been through a lot of stress recently. But the main thing is that we are each other's firsts and started having PIV sex just around a month ago. I understand that it often takes time and practice to figure out the most comfortable ways to do this, but nevertheless I'm so much worried already! I worry about us being incompatible, about me having some disease (even though I've done some tests at the hospital recently), about me having some physical abnormalities....... There are so many unpleasant thoughts and fears in my head, that even sex without penetration is now not as desirable and pleasurable as before
I'm not saying that your girl is this much nervous person as I am, but these things can really grow like a rolling snowball. Having pain several times may lead to worries, and these worries will prevent a person from enjoying sex thus causing more pain.

My message is messy as always, sorry for that I hope I managed to express my idea.

She prolly just needs feel more wanted!