Scaring my husband away from sex

Contributor: The Amber May The Amber May
I have known my husband since I was 16. He was only the second person I had sex with, or done anything with for that matter and I was his first. Our sexual experience is pretty limited seeing as we have only ever had each other (my first time was a mistake and only other time aside from my husband). We have tried to make things more interesting in bed, handcuffs and blindfolds in the past but recently I told him I have always fantasized of being tied up and he told me he wanted to use my vibrator on me during foreplay and sex.

Earlier this month I tried to make sex a little more fun, put on lingerie, got out some silk sashes for restraints and a blindfold and had my vibrator within arms length. Well, after things were through my husband informed me that I had scared him a little during our sexcapade and since then our sex life has been pretty non-existent. I mean, we are both still pretty young he is 24 and I am 23 so I don't think it is lack of libido so, what gives? Has anyone else had a similar problem or perhaps some advice for me?
05/31/2012
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05/31/2012
Contributor: js250 js250
What exactly scared him? Was it an action or the enthusiasm? I think you did good, it is hard to step out there and start playing with new ideas!! You might want to talk to him and see how you guys could make it work out with new ideas....maybe have one night per week/two weeks/month where it is new ideas night. Start slow, stay in your comfort zones and give them time to process the new ideas and experiences.
05/31/2012
Contributor: ValerieRayne ValerieRayne
Quote:
Originally posted by The Amber May
I have known my husband since I was 16. He was only the second person I had sex with, or done anything with for that matter and I was his first. Our sexual experience is pretty limited seeing as we have only ever had each other (my first time was a ... more
I couldn't agree with js250 more. A discussion definitely needs to happen about it, because there's a chance that he's not scared at all and is something else altogether, like more interested and possibly feeling some guilt or shame or some other emotion altogether about it - which will kill any guys libido (unless they're into that kind of thing), young or old.

And there's a chance that it has nothing at all to do with this particular situation, the decrease in sexual activity. Maybe it's work, studying, lack of sleep or something unrelated to sex. And if it's not, the only way that you can know for sure is to ask him...
06/01/2012
Contributor: Mr. Tickle and Giggle Mr. Tickle and Giggle
Quote:
Originally posted by The Amber May
I have known my husband since I was 16. He was only the second person I had sex with, or done anything with for that matter and I was his first. Our sexual experience is pretty limited seeing as we have only ever had each other (my first time was a ... more
As a guy im saying i 100% agree with js250 and valerie talk to him because as a guy you dont know how long he may hold it in before saying something and needs to be talked about because you never know why. I stoped having sex with my wife before because of how stressed i was. Didnt want to talk about it but she asked me one day and we fixed the problem. She thought i wasnt satisified. Not saying thats what it is for you but it goes to show you never know. And im a young guy to 24
06/02/2012