The New Intimacy

Scared of an Orgasm?

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Contributor: Eeyor89 Eeyor89
I know it's wierd but I think I'm afraid of having an orgasm. Everytime that I get close to having one I start to think of ways to stop it. For example: I will start to think of things I can do to make my partner stop, or I think of something totaly off the topic and make my mind wonder...

What's wrong with me...? I know I'm missing out on an awesome experiance, any ideas on something I can try yo keep myself from "stopping my body from having an orgasm"?
05/11/2011
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Contributor: married with children married with children
Have you ever had an orgasm?
05/12/2011
Contributor: bunny love bunny love
I had this problem for a little while. I was capable of orgasming, but sometimes I would want to stop when I was getting close to coming.

I think part of it was due to my birth control. I switched from Loestrin 24 Fe because I started having break through bleeding to the higher dose of Loestrin (I can't remember the name), and my sex drive plummeted. I was also playing around with my g-spot for the first time and was a little bit uncomfortable with the "need to pee" feeling. I was afraid that I would pee or something else embarrassing would happen.

Do you have any vibrators, dildos, or even a shower head that you can play with alone? You could throw some towels down on the bed or masturbate in the shower/tub if you're worried about your sheets. Don't feel like you have to put down a towel though. Lube and bodily fluids come out easily in the wash.

Are you worried that you might do something that your partner might think is strange? 99.9999% of people want to see their partner having an awesome time. Squirting, screaming, shaking, and so on are signs of a job well done for most folks.

Also, most women don't orgasm from only penetrative sex.

Try to think of anything that you might be worried or uncomfortable about. Talk to your partner and let them know how you're feeling. If you don't want them to push you past your comfort zone, then let them know. Conversely, let them know if you do want them to push your limits, but be sure to talk about what's off limits. For example, my boyfriend knows that he can do damn near anything with my clit and vagina during sex. BUT! Nothing goes in my butt without him asking or without me asking for it.

Hope that helps! Good luck!
05/12/2011
Contributor: A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople)
Quote:
Originally posted by Eeyor89
I know it's wierd but I think I'm afraid of having an orgasm. Everytime that I get close to having one I start to think of ways to stop it. For example: I will start to think of things I can do to make my partner stop, or I think of something ... more
Oh yes, I was in completely the same situation in the beginning of my orgasmic-during-sex life!
Well, I conquered it with just leading my sex life on and gradually the fear subsided. It took me several months. I am now still "afraid" of squirting, so the fear did not completely go away, but I'm sure someday it will.
Don't pressure yourself into conquering this fear - just know you will. What is really great is the fact that you *are* getting close to orgasm, which means you're probably a really orgasmic person who needs to learn to control their power.
Hope this is somewhat helpful. Good luck to you!
05/12/2011
Contributor: Eeyor89 Eeyor89
Quote:
Originally posted by married with children
Have you ever had an orgasm?
I have once, but other then that I've only come to the brink of it.

The one time that I did I was really into the guy and we had awesome chem. but I think my fear could also be related to my fear of being let down. Bc thI have been let down alot, especialy by that guy.
05/12/2011
Contributor: Eeyor89 Eeyor89
Quote:
Originally posted by bunny love
I had this problem for a little while. I was capable of orgasming, but sometimes I would want to stop when I was getting close to coming.

I think part of it was due to my birth control. I switched from Loestrin 24 Fe because I started having ... more
That's really helpfull thanks. I do have some items that I can play with on my own so I will give it a try. Thank you.
05/12/2011
Contributor: Eeyor89 Eeyor89
Quote:
Originally posted by A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople)
Oh yes, I was in completely the same situation in the beginning of my orgasmic-during-sex life!
Well, I conquered it with just leading my sex life on and gradually the fear subsided. It took me several months. I am now still "afraid" of ... more
Thanks for the help.
05/12/2011
Contributor: bunny love bunny love
Quote:
Originally posted by Eeyor89
That's really helpfull thanks. I do have some items that I can play with on my own so I will give it a try. Thank you.
You're welcome.

This probably sounds silly, but I've found that making all the noise that I want during sex really helps me let loose and orgasm. Dirty talk works well for me, too.
05/14/2011