The New Intimacy

Is REGULAR OLD SEX normally "rougher" then "real life"?

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Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
We are remodeling our house. Our main hallway has boxes piled on one side and ladders on the other. We are squeezing by each other in a four inch space. I was moving some cabinet doors last night and did not see my wife. I bumped her hip..she said "OW...careful, you are moving like a bull in a china shop". It was the second time I bumped her that evening. No big deal...just a little bump.

This morning we have some nice, Saturday "stay in bed" US time, and make love. We are doing "doggy style" and she is telling me "HARDER, FASTER", as I am POUNDING into her with every bit of strength in my legs and hips. Made me realize, there is NO WAY she would ever want me to touch her this roughly in ANY other activity then sex.

SO...my question. Think about it. Are you rougher (not in a mean way, just PHYSICALLY rougher) with your loved on during sex then at any other activity??? We are guessing this is normal, after discussing it over breakfast this morning.

What about YOU?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
YES, We are "rougher" during sex then "the rest of life".
31
NO, We are gentle with sex. Never rough.
We are rough all the time?
Other?
1
Total votes: 32 (32 voters)
Poll is closed
08/13/2011
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Contributor: Nissa Nissa Nissa Nissa
Sex can be awesome and sweet and loving then it can be primal. I like to think of sex generally as more of a primal urge and sometimes to get there it has to be rougher.

I think I'm generally more into rougher stuff with sex but I also want to try the slow sex that I've heard about in books lol
08/14/2011
Contributor: SexyLilPixi SexyLilPixi
Quote:
Originally posted by Nissa Nissa
Sex can be awesome and sweet and loving then it can be primal. I like to think of sex generally as more of a primal urge and sometimes to get there it has to be rougher.

I think I'm generally more into rougher stuff with sex but I also ... more
I like that! I also want to try the slow sex that I've heard about in books" Haha.

And to answer the question - Oh god yeah! If my man were to pull my hair, call me dirty pet names, and pound into me in real life, he'd be riding away in an ambulance.
08/14/2011
Contributor: Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
during sex, we release endorphins that cause us to tolerate higher amounts of pain than when we're not having sex. that's why i'm delicate as a flower normally but pretty much expect to be beaten within inches of my life during a romp
08/14/2011
Contributor: ZenaidaMacroura ZenaidaMacroura
Well, my boyfriend and I can be a bit rough with each other in everyday life (I have a bruise on my boob where he bit me playfully, and I'm always getting bruises from our play fighting), but we are definitely rougher during sex. He can pull my hair, slap me, bite me, whatever, and it just adds to the awesomeness of the moment. Outside of sex, I'll slap him right back and be in a crappy mood if he's too rough.
08/14/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
Quote:
Originally posted by Ms. Spice
during sex, we release endorphins that cause us to tolerate higher amounts of pain than when we're not having sex. that's why i'm delicate as a flower normally but pretty much expect to be beaten within inches of my life during a romp
You beat me to it! Pain tolerance goes up during sex due to the chemicals released by our brains. Things that would normally be painful in everyday life don't hurt, or can actually be pleasurable during sex.
08/15/2011
Contributor: Nothere Nothere
Yup, it's a chance to let go and be wild!
09/05/2011
Contributor: Illumin8 Illumin8
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
You beat me to it! Pain tolerance goes up during sex due to the chemicals released by our brains. Things that would normally be painful in everyday life don't hurt, or can actually be pleasurable during sex.
Completely agree. My wife and I are usually rougher during sex than in everyday life.
09/05/2011
Contributor: Rossie Rossie
Just a bit rougher, not to the point that I'll feel pain.
09/05/2011
Contributor: Kkay Kkay
I'm delicate. I require a gentle touch in day-to-day life. When I'm aroused the pain translates differently, but only certain kinds.
09/05/2011
Contributor: Cherrylane Cherrylane
We're totally rougher, though we're not always rough.

And for me it's not just rough in terms of "pounding away." I get into hair pulling, hard slapping, him holding my face down, grabbing my face, even LIGHT choking (not actually breath-play choking but light-semi-firm hold that more limits your ability to say, lean forward rather than breathe lol).

Similarly, I'm okay with my loved one calling me things I would not otherwise be okay with. So for example, if we were having said enthusiastic rough sex, I would be okay with calling me bitch, slut or whore. For me, in relation to him and in that specific context, it doesn't bother me at all and even turns me on. Sometimes I WANT to feel that way, primarily because there's a distinction with him in particular. I love him, trust him, want to make him happy, be there for him. I don't want to be a slut, in those moments. I want to be HIS slut. He's still reluctant on this one, but the door is open as far as I'm concerned.
11/13/2011
Contributor: allybee allybee
this is an interesting post... no clue
11/13/2011
Contributor: averageguyextrodinarypleasure averageguyextrodinarypleasure
We don't have fought sex everytime but there are times when it's more rough than I'd be to her in day to day stuff
11/14/2011