The New Intimacy

How important is it to you to "preserve the mood"?

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Contributor: Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
In my travels 'round Eden and the 'net at-large, I've noticed that, for all that gets said about communication during lovemaking leading to a better overall experience, there's also a concern about not disrupting the mood.

Sometimes it just extends to minor complaints, while some folks will even withhold comments for things that are legitimately uncomfortable, painful, or "squicky" to them. There's also varying opinions about whether complains should be addressed immediately, after the act, or not at all.

So what do you think? Is the mood something that shouldn't be broken no matter what? Or do you feel it's okay to cause (hopefully minor) pauses in it in an effort to make it stronger overall?

Voting's private, but feel free to explain or elaborate if you're comfortable doing so.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Never interrupt the mood, ever...
Only interrupt it for serious things (like severe unwelcome pain)...
5
Interrupt if the problem is mildly to very annoying...
17
Interrupt over little things if they're really creating a hang-up...
3
Interrupt over anything wrong, no matter how tiny...
2
... Don't even discuss things afterwards.
... Discuss them afterwards, so that the next time will be better.
7
... Talk about things now - the mood can be re-established.
9
... Talk about things now, and to hell with the mood!
2
I'm honestly not sure or can't decide.
The squirrel down the block wants to kill me ("other" option).
3
Total votes: 48 (26 voters)
Poll is closed
09/16/2012
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Contributor: Geogeo Geogeo
Ill interrupt things right away if it's not enjoyable, but not with words, Ill just change positions, etc so the mood isnt interrupted but the crappy thing is gone
09/16/2012
Contributor: deltalima deltalima
Quote:
Originally posted by Rin (aka Nire)
In my travels 'round Eden and the 'net at-large, I've noticed that, for all that gets said about communication during lovemaking leading to a better overall experience, there's also a concern about not disrupting the ... more
I tend to suck it up and stay quiet.
09/16/2012
Contributor: edeneve edeneve
the whole point of sex is pleasure & if it ain't happening I will say something but in a caring manner.
09/16/2012
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
To me, "the mood" is an artificial constraint, or an unnecessary invention. I don't believe there is "the mood". If we're fooling around, or getting romantic, I'm in a sexual mind-set. That being said, when we are both in a sexual mind-set, we say or do whatever pops into our heads.

I've had to get up to go pee, or I've said something like "remind me later to...(whatever)", or if something's not working for me I'll grab a different item from the toy box, etc. To me, being in a sexual mind-set is being focused on both of us enjoying each other physically. So something like "ow, you're on my hair", or "here, use this instead", "where did the lube get to?" (and then rummaging for it) or "I gotta pee" are all things that should be said or done so we can both continue to enjoy each other sexually. No mood broken, because there isn't "a mood" just a mind-set. For me thinking about "the mood" makes me think of romance novels & movies. And in my experience, sex is much more real than what appears in those novels and movies, so I tend to have a more pragmatic, practical view of it.

I realize that I may be a pod, rather than a normal person. Also I realize that once I'm in a sexual mind-set it would take something really BIG to get me out of it. (Something like queefing, or even farting, or getting a cramp and having to change positions just aren't going to spoil anything for me once I'm in a sexual mind-set.) Fortunately my man is the same way. So your mileage may vary.
09/16/2012
Contributor: Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
To me, "the mood" is an artificial constraint, or an unnecessary invention. I don't believe there is "the mood". If we're fooling around, or getting romantic, I'm in a sexual mind-set. That being said, when we are ... more
I actually rather like this answer. Perhaps if more people were less concerned with maintaining an atmosphere and more concerned about just enjoying themselves and one another, communication would go much more smoothly and we'd have many more satisfied couples.

As it stands, "the mood" is still pretty important to a lot of people. There's individuals for whom the proper atmosphere is very important, and I can't really fault anyone for that. Everybody's got their own prerequisites for arousal, after all. But it's a little astonishing what people will put up with to keep it going, even if doing so is only benefiting one partner and making the other miserable - or in some cases, making both miserable, if they each think it's working for the other and don't speak up for themselves.
09/16/2012
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
It's true, it is important to most people.

And don't go getting the impression that I'm some crunchy granola girl who enjoys a smelly hair-fest. LOL I still shave, and all that stuff, and so does my man. I'm not all THAT pragmatic. (No offense to those that may enjoy those activities meant, of course!) And in the past, I think I concerned myself much more with "the mood" too.

I really find this thread to be interesting. This was an excellent idea!
09/16/2012
Contributor: SavingMyself SavingMyself
If something is causing one of us pain, we'll deal with it right there, but if it's just kind of "meh" or whatever we'll keep going and talk about it later.
09/16/2012
Contributor: sexxxkitten sexxxkitten
I agree with lizzi. If something is causing pain, we stop, or pause for a little while.
09/16/2012
Contributor: sugar&spikes sugar&spikes
Quote:
Originally posted by Geogeo
Ill interrupt things right away if it's not enjoyable, but not with words, Ill just change positions, etc so the mood isnt interrupted but the crappy thing is gone
same
09/17/2012
Contributor: Rory Rory
Just yesterday we stopped for a barking dog! All ended well!
09/17/2012
Contributor: Deeder Deeder
For us, there really isn't a "mood". Yeah, my hubby will get all "Heeeey, you wanna?" But most of the time I'll just be sort of "Eh, I guess", and I'll start talking about the news, or something that happened at work. Yeah, it's a little unorthodox, but 99% of the time he's able to finish.
09/17/2012
Contributor: butts butts
Interrupt if you're not enjoying it or something is annoying you. Nothing is a bigger mood killer for me than annoyances and frustration.
10/04/2012
Contributor: Hallmar82 Hallmar82
I usually break the mood for things like muscle cramps.
10/04/2012