The New Intimacy

How would you feel if you walked in on your son/daughter masturbating?

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Contributor: ToyGurl ToyGurl
As a lot of you know, I used to promote masturbation for a living in order to hopefully lower the rate of sexual active/pregnant teens. But here's something that totally went against my teachings.

So the other day, my family and I were getting ready for a little pre-wedding party. The family is all coming to town and we threw a gettogether to greet everyone and thank them for coming. Most of the family who came is actually staying at the house. So my younger sister was sent to sleep in the computer room on a air mattress, that way we could make room for our guests.

As my aunt got up to get water, she heard a "repulsive noise" coming from the computer room... So she opened the door to see my sister masturbating with her mini vibe. She's 16 years old, and I agreed to buy her a small vibrator for her birthday. But something about this situation was weird. As my aunt came to my room to tell me and I got very upset that my sister was doing this while family was in town.

I think what pissed me off was:

1. She was masturbating loudly while family was at home

2. She got caught

It sounds silly coming from someone who has been promoting this very act for so long, but I think she could have been quieter and could have thought to lock the door so no one caught her... Especially our aunt.

So my question for all of you is, how would you feel if you walked in on your children (or brother/sister/etc.) masturbating? Are there any circumstances to when it would bother you or why? Would it only bother you if they were being too loud, or if they left the door unlocked? Would it bother you if they were completely naked? Please share your answers below!
06/25/2011
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Contributor: wetone123 wetone123
She picked the wrong time to masturbate. She knew it was a special family time. She was loud about it and did not lock the door. Sounds like she is not mature enough to handle the situation. Either that, or she was hoping to get caught and draw attention to herself for some immature reason.
06/25/2011
Contributor: sexyintexas sexyintexas
Uh I have three teens and I pray that I never walk in on any of them....shudder.
06/25/2011
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Hence the reason why KNOCKING was invented.
06/25/2011
Contributor: Petite Valentine Petite Valentine
"So she opened the door to see my sister masturbating with her mini vibe."

Emphasis is mine. Would she have opened the door if she heard your parents having sex in their bedroom? I think not. Your sister's timing is not the greatest and she might be unaware as to how loud she is when aroused, but if she was behind a closed door she had a reasonable expectation of privacy. I fault your aunt for this one. She should never have opened the door, and having been so inconsiderate, she should have kept her mouth shut.
06/25/2011
Contributor: Tuesday Tuesday
I can speak from personal experience. One day my husband and I went shopping. When we returned we went around the side of the house to put the new tools we bought in the backyard. Apparently my son didn't hear us. I glanced in the back slider window and there he was, close to finishing, in the living room. There are some things a mother doesn't need to see.

I was very disturbed by this. I was also surprised that this bothered me so much.
06/25/2011
Contributor: MaryExy MaryExy
Aunt gets some blame for not knocking, but the sis didn't pick the best time to be doing it... and isn't that what showers and bedtime are for?
06/25/2011
Contributor: Rossie Rossie
I knock before I open my son's door, I hope I will never have to face this kind of situation!
06/25/2011
Contributor: wetone123 wetone123
To me, it was obvious the aunt knew the girl was masturbating before she opened the door. It was the loud noises being made which can not be mistaken. Maybe she wanted to stop that noise before children, men-folk and others were drawn to that noise.??
What if a group of kids had opened the door, or even worse, old grandpa?

I would not be able to get any satisfaction from masturbating knowing there was a house full of people listening. But thats just me. Immaturity is still on the forefront of my mind in this situation.
There is a time and place for everything. If I needed to masturbate that badly with a house full of family, I think I , being creative as I am, could have found a better place to do it.
06/26/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by wetone123
She picked the wrong time to masturbate. She knew it was a special family time. She was loud about it and did not lock the door. Sounds like she is not mature enough to handle the situation. Either that, or she was hoping to get caught and draw ... more
I couldn't have said it better myself! I was thinking along the same lines. Great minds think alike Wetone 123! lol


In my opinion, maybe that's one good reason why it's ILLEGAL to buy adult toys like that for minors! If she were perhaps OF AGE, maybe she'd have been more mature and chose to have some respect for her family.

Our kids are boys (not our biological children) but the oldest is 13 and the youngest 11. There are 2 girls (6 and 1) but we've managed to get their mother's to help out with them the past few months. Anyways, both boys are very comfortable coming to me and my partner about things, but strangely it seems they've been VERY comfortable sharing with me (the female!) more. The 11 year old actually talked about boners the other day and shocked me. He was just really concerned and worried as to why it happens so often. I had a talk with him and assured him it was just the changes taking place right now. They've never been caught masturbating. I expected the 13 year old to become rude and crude at this age, but they're both surprisingly very good kids and we talk regularly about sex and things like that. It's nothing that should be kept secret and the 13 year old STRONGLY believes in NO SEX UNTIL MARRIAGE! I am so proud of that, but I highly doubt they would EVER disrespect me or our fam so much to actually masturbate loudly. If they do it, whatever. I did at their age. I'm not against it, but for pete's sake, LOCK A DOOR! If they did do it loudly and non-discrete, I'd be having a serious talk about respect with them. Now if I thought it wasn't intentional or maybe it was more obvious than what they knew I'd just say something like "I'd prefer you keep the MUSIC and noise on a lower volume when you're alone and we have company." with a little wink. That would be the way to go with mine so as not to make them feel riduculed.

Now like my lovely Wetone123 said, it could've been a way for attention and being a young female myself who was a teen only a couple years ago, I would've been so humiliated at getting caught that I would NEVER chanced it with the fam over. Maybe the unlocked door and the "repulsive sounds" were intentional? In that case, I would say the girl sounds like she's lacking something and using this as a way to get whatever it is she wants?
06/26/2011
Contributor: dv8 dv8
Hasn't anyone watched the opening scene of Not Another Teen Movie?
06/27/2011
Contributor: DexterStratton DexterStratton
I think finding any family member masturbating would be disturbing. Roommates or strangers otherwise not so much.
06/27/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
I'm in agreement that the girl should have either tried to be quieter or not done it, but should have locked the door as well. And the aunt should have knocked first.

If it were my own kids, I honestly don't know what I'd do since I don't have kids. I would want them to know that it's a healthy thing to do so long as it doesn't interfere with them having a regular life (choosing masturbating over going out with friends, missing important things, etc), but that they should be conscious and careful about getting caught because while it is a healthy thing to do, it's not something they need to share with the whole world.
06/28/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
Hence the reason why KNOCKING was invented.
Exactly. The OP's aunt was in the wrong to walk in without permission.

A "repulsive noise?" Prudery anyone? Was the noise the buzzing of the vibe or was your sister moaning? Either way, the OP's aunt, if she has a brain in her head, should have known what was going on and minded her own damn business.

I know my kids masturbate. ALL people masturbate (and the ones who make a point of telling parental figures they will wait until marriage are the ones who usually have sex first. From being a full time real parent, I KNOW this to be true. The "Promise Ring" kids are the pregnant ones in our area.)

I KNOCK before I enter a room, it's only the polite thing to do, and if someone say, "Um, I'm...um ... getting dressed. I'll be right there." I DO NOT open the door, as I have taught my children do do for My Man and me. We do not walk in on people when they are behind a closed door.

The aunt was in the wrong, here. And why the fuck did she tell the rest of the family? Somebody's aunt has some boundary issues.

Masturbation is a normal healthy thing. When it's obvious teens are doing it, behind closed doors the best thing to do is ignore it.
06/28/2011
Contributor: Vaccinium Vaccinium
My kids are still a bit young (9 and 5) to be masturbating, but if I walked in on one of them, I'd immediately apologize, turn around, and walk out. Afterwards, I'd talk with him/her about how he/she did nothing wrong, that it is totally healthy, and put locks on their doors. After that, I'd never mention it again.
06/28/2011
Contributor: Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
i'm a couple years older than your sister, and though i agree that it probably wasn't the best timing, she might have not realized how loud she was. i usually think i'm quiet, but i'll have people make comments regarding the exact opposite. it was prob an honest mistake, but i think you're aunt should have been more respectful.
06/28/2011
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
I was caught by my mother when I was about 12. I was masturbating in bed and banging the wall, next to my parents room. My mother told me, the next day, not to go that hard so I don't hurt myself and she knows it just feels so good. No shame, guilt or whatever.

I don't have children, but I certainly will strive to be positive with them and allow their privacy.
06/28/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
Honestly, I wouldn't want to walk in on any family member masturbating. Clearly there are much worse things to do, but it would still be kind of gross, just like walking in on them having sex.

That being said, this Aunt had it coming. The girl did it in the middle of the night (or that's how it sounded), behind a closed door - it's not like she was on the dining room table at dinner time. I would have locked the door if I were her, but it seems like the Aunt went looking for this "scandal". And then to tell the rest of the family just seems bizarre.
06/28/2011
Contributor: wetone123 wetone123
I agree masturbation is healthy and wish I had had an older sister to have gotten me a mini vibe. Maybe then I wouldn't have been pregnant at such an early age. But as with all types of sex, solo included, there must be responsibilities, and with a houseful of family, it just was not the time or place.

Others examples here who have described finding their kids masturbating- in those instances the kid really thought they were alone and being discreet. They were not making a spectacle of themselves.

Even if just immediate family [the people who always live in the house] were home, it would have been better as there was less chance of disturbing anyone.

This situation however was different. THE HOUSE WAS FULL OF FAMILY. People do have reasonable expectations of privacy behind closed doors, but with so many people in the house, I'm still glad children or old grandpa did not venture in. You know children and old folks have a tendency to forget things like knocking when they hear something interesting going on behind a door. Its a wonder only the aunt heard. Saying this, the aunt should have handled the situation better herself.


I'm sure this experience has taught her a lesson in being discreet. Let her know that masturbation is not wrong, but with a house full of family, may not be the best time to indulge in.
06/28/2011
Contributor: wetone123 wetone123
Did the aunt tell the rest of the family or just you toylover?
06/28/2011
Contributor: Eucaly Eucaly
It can be very difficult for a kid to find a time when they are completely uncatchable and also difficult for them to judge just how much others can hear through walls or closed doors.

If kids are expected to be more discreet than your younger sister was being, then they will probably develop guilt complexes about masturbation.

An expectation of knocking on closed doors should always be enforced.
06/28/2011
Contributor: l'amour l'amour
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Exactly. The OP's aunt was in the wrong to walk in without permission.

A "repulsive noise?" Prudery anyone? Was the noise the buzzing of the vibe or was your sister moaning? Either way, the OP's aunt, if she has a brain in ... more
You took the words out of my mouth. Thank you.


Personally, if I ever have kids and catch them masturbating, I'm going to just talk to them afterwards. Tell them if they want to masturbate in their room with us in the house, fine. Just be quiet, I don't care. Wash your hands afterwards. :p
06/28/2011
Contributor: newfoundlust newfoundlust
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
As a lot of you know, I used to promote masturbation for a living in order to hopefully lower the rate of sexual active/pregnant teens. But here's something that totally went against my teachings.

So the other day, my family and I were ... more
I would try not to, but if it happened and they were not being obnoxious (loud/inappropriate) I would ignore it. I certainly want my daughters to be sexually happy but I also want them to be safe and secure, and understand being discreet.
06/28/2011
Contributor: KrazyKandy KrazyKandy
you should not get mad at her. The aunt was the one who walked in without knocking
06/28/2011
Contributor: rachaelxfaith rachaelxfaith
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
As a lot of you know, I used to promote masturbation for a living in order to hopefully lower the rate of sexual active/pregnant teens. But here's something that totally went against my teachings.

So the other day, my family and I were ... more
I think I would feel just as mortified as them.

I think maybe what needs to be done is to have a talk with her about being more discreet about it. You definitely want to be careful about not scaring her out of doing it at all, but discuss social etiquette with her. It's important to have a healthy attitude about sex, but you have to take consideration for others into account.
07/01/2011
Contributor: Misfit Momma Misfit Momma
While some people think it is polite to abstain while company is over, I don't think it should be an expectation. When I was a teenager I got aroused at some very strange/inappropriate moments. I still do as an adult, but it's much easier to ignore them as we get older. Sometimes... the urges are very strong, and it's unrealistic to expect someone to ignore them just because there is company over.

Yes, she should have locked the door... but more so your Aunt should have knocked, especially if she had a hunch at what the "repulsive" noise was caused by. If your Aunt is against masturbation, her definition of a loud "repulsive" noise may have been a soft whimper. If she was indeed being loud, and it was obvious what was going on... well all the more reason that your Aunt should have knocked or just left it alone. By walking in, she was intentionally trying to catch your sister in the act so that she could in turn "tattle" on her. (There is a possibility that there was a true concern such as rape, in which case after opening the door she should have apologized and kept her mouth shut.)

Either way, I think your Aunt is in the wrong in this case.
07/01/2011
Contributor: SamsDelight SamsDelight
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Exactly. The OP's aunt was in the wrong to walk in without permission.

A "repulsive noise?" Prudery anyone? Was the noise the buzzing of the vibe or was your sister moaning? Either way, the OP's aunt, if she has a brain in ... more
I agree. I know my boys will do it and I would rather they do it than go find a girl. The aunt should have never walked in. She heard a noise and unless it was something breaking she should have knocked and given the girl the chance to hide what she was doing. I feel bad for your sister. Not only did she get caught doing a private act but she now has to look the rest of you in the face because your aunt went and told others. I would be a little annoyed she was doing it with so many people in the house but I would never get mad at her for an embarrassing situation.
08/01/2011