A different "man's perspective"; I found the other "man's perspective" to be condescending and androcentric, and it kinda made me mad.
"Girth" as circumference is a misleading and absurd measurement, devised for men. Big numbers make us feel better, apparently.
And for my fellow men who are too clueless to know, childbirth is excruciating, so don't use a baby as the basis of what YOU imagine a woman should or should not be able to "take".
I actually do have exactly the problem the poster notes. I think I'm pretty average in length, but I'm just enormously thick, and as I close in on orgasm it gets worse, obviously.
These are the facts I know: I cannot get a large steel penis/dildo harness ring over my penis when I am fully erect but not even close to orgasm; according to the site, the rong has an inside diameter (thickness) of 2 1/4". So I figure I'm about that thick. Measuring doesn't really work because it is artificial.
Neither I nor my partners can get any kind of hand-job sleeve to go over my penis, UNLESS it is a jelly toy with no rigidity; then I tear it open and slowly rip it up, but it does work for a while (Super Stretch Lips get bought by the twos).
Women who have had children find it less painful, those who have not, much more so. Once I am fully erect, no amount of lube, of any kind, will obviate the grimace of pain, and the resulting contraction of her vagina. And I love all the other kinds of sex---what Americans inist on calling "foreplay"---so one of my partners at least has to have been as ready as she could be.
Put another way...it IS NOT a mental issue for you, it's just not real common.
Here are the tricks I have learned with my partners through the years:
Masturbation. Give "hand". Let him rub his penis along the inside of your forearm---a very smooth and sensitive spot---while your fingers play with his testes. Let him rub himself between your breasts. Let him rub himself against your cheek (yes, he's going to come on your face, though why this is supposedly a bad thing is another of those American male weirdnesses, since you ALWAYS come all over his face).
Let him rub his penis in the cleft of your anus. Take his penis in your hand, and use his glans to jerk yourself off. Lay him on his back and ride your labia and clitoris along the "underside" of his penis.
Give head with your lips and tongue. Keep your mouth open and basically lick him and rub him with your mouth and tongue, and if you want to, get around on his glans when he's going to orgasm.
If you really, really, want to fuck, you have to work at it. You want him hard enough not to injure him, but not yet so thick or hard you can't work him in---here's where all that lube, making out, and pelvic floor exercises help. But understand that sooner, rather than later, he's going to get to that 2"+ point and it is going to hurt if he tries to "give it to you". Your best course is to have him hold fairly still and let you control the movement.
One last thing....despite what you think, anal sex is actually the better alternative. You just have to do it properly. Which is not spontaneous, romantic, or quick. He has to be willing to use his (clean and well-kept) fingers to GENTLY work your anus VERY open. He has to lube the inside of your anus carefully and plentifully, and you or he has to slather his penis with lube. Then he has to go very slowly, and focus the first several times on working his head in and around your actual anus until he gets off. Once your more used to being opened, you can proceed to let him further in, especially if he's average in length.
Hope this helped. Actually having a very thick penis is a very mixed blessing. I will say this: when I have a partner with whom I can have pain-free intercourse, it is awesome for both of us.
FYI...I'm bigger than any "spreader" or dilating vibe I've ever used. Most didlos are made of soft material, so you can squeeze them, and if they are big enough to help, they are already too big for you anyway. But it's worth a try to go for a short, 2" thick dildo, maybe with a tapered head.
Steven
