The New Intimacy

Having sex or making love?

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Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Listening to the radio this morning, they were talking about the difference between just having sex and making love and what it meant to individual people.

For me personally, making love has a lot of emotion behind it, there's lots of soft kisses and touches and general time is taken for the entire experience. Having sex can also be done with someone you make love to, however for me it's generally shorter, more to the point, with less romance involved.

What about the rest of you? How do you separate the two, if you do at all?
09/02/2010
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Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Well how to put this... I guess I would say both. We usually start with love, soft kissing, caressing and sometimes finish like this, but we have a tendency to get into it real good and I would say it turns to unabashed sex.

Sometimes when we don't have a lot of time or when it is getting late, we have sex that turns into love making due to not having the energy to keep going like rabbits.

So I recon it is 50/50. (does that make sense?)
09/02/2010
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Makes perfect sense to me
09/02/2010
Contributor: Kindred Kindred
Sex is a physical act. There can be emotion behind it, but literally it is just a physical act. Making love, at least to me, implies intimacy. While making love often is synonymous with sex, it is not. I feel you can engage in making love and not have sex.
09/02/2010
Contributor: Sammi Sammi
I don't really separate the two. We usually have rougher "sex", but there is a lot of emotion behind it, so maybe it's making rougher "love".
09/02/2010
Contributor: Alicia Alicia
We don't ever really use the term making love..but there are different types of sex that we engage in. Sometimes it's more of an emotionally intimate connection where there's more time spent kissing and caressing and then other times where it's a more get down to it down and dirty kind of sex. So..50/50 we just never use the term! :-P
09/02/2010
Contributor: removedacnt removedacnt
For me the difference is the emotional attachment to the person. You make love with someone you love or care deeply for. Having sex is something you do with someone where it's all about the sex and nothing about the emotions. I never thought of it as being the type of sex your having, as in soft or rough.
09/02/2010
Contributor: Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
We both hate the term making love.

Sometimes I say "Hey! Wanna go have teh secks?" but mostly, we fuck.

Crude? Yeah. Fun? Oh yeah.
09/02/2010
Contributor: Not here Not here
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
We both hate the term making love.

Sometimes I say "Hey! Wanna go have teh secks?" but mostly, we fuck.

Crude? Yeah. Fun? Oh yeah.
Same here. The term "making love" makes me want to gag. I love my man to death and I know he feels the same, but more often than not, we fuck.

I'm totally okay with it being crude. I think it's more fun that way
09/02/2010
Contributor: PassionQT PassionQT
I'm over "making love". I just like a good fuck nowadays.
09/02/2010
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
I'm really enjoying seeing the wide range of views on this. Especially considering there was only one argument for one side and the other had all the votes this morning.
09/02/2010
Contributor: kck kck
We "make love with," not "make love to."
09/02/2010
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
I'll take both, I don't care, I miss it all.
09/02/2010
Contributor: Liz Liz
The concept of "making love" makes sense to me, but the actual term? Yeeechh. We usually refer to it as "having sex" (or on occasion "fucking") regardless of whether it's a 3-minute quickie or a longer, more serious session.
09/02/2010
Contributor: Coralbell Coralbell
"Making love" sounds super corny to me. Like Liz said, I can appreciate the concept behind it, but that phrase turns me off. I'd rather just fuck.
09/03/2010
Contributor: Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
I don't find the phrase "making love" appealing at all for some reason. I agree with what many others have said. As much as my husband and I love each other and love being intimate together, fucking -- crude as it may be -- sounds so much more visceral and exciting! At least I find the term to be a turn-on and not a turn-off, like that other phrase.
09/03/2010
Contributor: Envy Envy
I see them as one and the same. Just 'making love' is more a euphemism than anything.
09/03/2010
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
I never use the term "making love", perhaps its crude but we use "fuck" all the time. In some polite circles, we might say having sex.
09/03/2010
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
I used to think making love was when you had sexual relations with someone you really love other than that if it was with someone you didn't have any real emotions for then I would call it sex.

But after reading a few posts, I am sort of changing how I see it. Perhaps I am a little corny when I say lets go make love, lol. Prehaps calling it differently will make it more exciting.

But to me wether we are having a quicky or full blown long session they are both love making as long as my heart is in it (which is all the time).
09/03/2010
Contributor: removedacnt removedacnt
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
I used to think making love was when you had sexual relations with someone you really love other than that if it was with someone you didn't have any real emotions for then I would call it sex.

But after reading a few posts, I am sort of ... more
I like the way you put that....Making love is when your heart is in it.
09/03/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
They are too intermingled to attempt to separate them for me. At least now, I'm monogamous right now, and we have been together a long time. Any session can be either and BOTH.

We can often "have sex" for a VERY long time, 2 or 3 hours. For us, "Making Love" is actually shorter. Maybe 45 minutes to an hour. Quickies, I guess can be either, sometimes it's "making love" other times, it just "getting it on."

I mean, sometimes you are just fucking no doubt about that. Even when it's with someone you love very much. Nothing like a good fuck.
09/03/2010
Contributor: Jenn (aka kissmykitty) Jenn (aka kissmykitty)
(EdenFantasys)
We do both, though we've been together for ten years and married for almost six, so for us making love and sex are both very intertwined. Make-up sex for us, usually, is making love. Haven't-seen-you-in-so -long sex can be making love or sex, depending on our moods. Generally, though, we have sex.
09/03/2010
Contributor: verbalized verbalized
I don't usually use the term making love *but* I consider making love a more soft, passionate, lots of kissing / touching sort of night. Sex for us is more rough, etc. Like other's, we tend to just use the term 'fuck'. lol.
09/03/2010
Contributor: Dame Saphir Dame Saphir
Quote:
Originally posted by verbalized
I don't usually use the term making love *but* I consider making love a more soft, passionate, lots of kissing / touching sort of night. Sex for us is more rough, etc. Like other's, we tend to just use the term 'fuck'. lol.
I agree completely. But I usually only use the term "fuck" when I'm being dirty
09/03/2010
Contributor: Blinker Blinker
We fuck. That's it.
09/03/2010
Contributor: NightNight NightNight
Quote:
Originally posted by Liz
The concept of "making love" makes sense to me, but the actual term? Yeeechh. We usually refer to it as "having sex" (or on occasion "fucking") regardless of whether it's a 3-minute quickie or a longer, more serious session.
I more or less feel the same. The concept is something I do practice and distinguish but the term I use more rarely because it makes me feel a little uneasy. I feel like I'm my parents using a euphemism for "sex" because "sex" is too dirty a word. I don't like to think I'm still carrying those notions.

To me "making love" can be tender or rough, it's just sex you have while experiencing love.
09/03/2010
Contributor: NightNight NightNight
Of course I forgot to mention there is "Second Degree Making Love"-- that's the slow, passionate, kind, tender sort of sex

There are a lot of words to refer to sex but not enough definitively useful ones
09/03/2010