I have a sexual dilemma. A BIG ONE!! My husband and I have been married for a few years and he has had trouble with low testosterone, ED and let’s just face it hardly no sex at all. I’ve been loyal and it’s freaking hard. I sent him naughty videos for fun tonight and he says... that is not like you. I’ve told him several times I’m curious into bdsm, role play, anal play/sex, curious about rough sex and it goes even deeper than that. I find myself more submissive and he says he isn’t vanilla but he’s too shy to talk about it because he sees me as this “gentle “ princess or something.... if he is really as shy as he says he is .. I’m not sure how to get this other side out of him. I told him just to own it. I said sex is fun dirty and messy so fuck it. I swear he looked at me like I grew another face or something. I’m not a take charge kinda gal, I respond better when others take charge (again that’s only in the bedroom).. I’m accidental bossy and alpha female other wise... don’t mean to be just sorta had to be all my life. Anyway, I’m confused. I put away my wild side for him and he’s willing to bring some of it out in toy play... but how do I get him to quit being so shy about it.. it’s just fun. I would love to hear about his wants and stuff. He knows that, but he’s shy about it. It’s frustrating. No he isn’t cheating, I’m sure of that. Trust me, I’m a better investigator than the FBI Lol. We have a great marriage except for the sex part of it. He’s 38 and I’m 36. I’m always turned on it never shuts off so it’s kinda difficult on my end here. Thanks!
Curious but hubs is shy....
Ladywithsecrets
01/21/2021
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Quote:
Girl I feel for ya! Well I'm not a guy and I dont know your husband but I can say men are visual! Is there any way you can get him to watch porn with you? or even let him watch on his own. The visuals will feed into his mind and he will start to crave an emulate. It wont happen overnight but it will expose him to the fun and raunchy episodes you desire and he'll want to act them out with you!
Originally posted by
Ladywithsecrets
I have a sexual dilemma. A BIG ONE!! My husband and I have been married for a few years and he has had trouble with low testosterone, ED and let’s just face it hardly no sex at all. I’ve been loyal and it’s freaking hard. I sent him naughty videos
...
more
I have a sexual dilemma. A BIG ONE!! My husband and I have been married for a few years and he has had trouble with low testosterone, ED and let’s just face it hardly no sex at all. I’ve been loyal and it’s freaking hard. I sent him naughty videos for fun tonight and he says... that is not like you. I’ve told him several times I’m curious into bdsm, role play, anal play/sex, curious about rough sex and it goes even deeper than that. I find myself more submissive and he says he isn’t vanilla but he’s too shy to talk about it because he sees me as this “gentle “ princess or something.... if he is really as shy as he says he is .. I’m not sure how to get this other side out of him. I told him just to own it. I said sex is fun dirty and messy so fuck it. I swear he looked at me like I grew another face or something. I’m not a take charge kinda gal, I respond better when others take charge (again that’s only in the bedroom).. I’m accidental bossy and alpha female other wise... don’t mean to be just sorta had to be all my life. Anyway, I’m confused. I put away my wild side for him and he’s willing to bring some of it out in toy play... but how do I get him to quit being so shy about it.. it’s just fun. I would love to hear about his wants and stuff. He knows that, but he’s shy about it. It’s frustrating. No he isn’t cheating, I’m sure of that. Trust me, I’m a better investigator than the FBI Lol. We have a great marriage except for the sex part of it. He’s 38 and I’m 36. I’m always turned on it never shuts off so it’s kinda difficult on my end here. Thanks!
less
Also, I would be concerned with his health by mentioning he has low testosterone and ED. That is usually an indicator of an underlying health condition. I would encourage him to go see a doctor and get it worked out. Men who level out their testosterone, and any other areas he is lacking in, end up not only with better sex drive but an overall improvement in their day to day wellbeing.
Continue to talk to him and work at it, when you dont is when the relationship starts to decline. Lets get that man some pep back in his step!!!
01/21/2021
scarlettjovi
Quote:
Watching porn together is a good idea. Also maybe starting from a neutral place like a hotel. A lot of his hesitation may come from fear but if you can show him it’s safe to explore then maybe he’ll start to participate. You could also make lists of kinks you want to explore. Maybe you’ll both have the same ideas but he just doesn’t know how to say it out loud. Good for you for wanting more and trying to get it!!
Originally posted by
Ladywithsecrets
I have a sexual dilemma. A BIG ONE!! My husband and I have been married for a few years and he has had trouble with low testosterone, ED and let’s just face it hardly no sex at all. I’ve been loyal and it’s freaking hard. I sent him naughty videos
...
more
I have a sexual dilemma. A BIG ONE!! My husband and I have been married for a few years and he has had trouble with low testosterone, ED and let’s just face it hardly no sex at all. I’ve been loyal and it’s freaking hard. I sent him naughty videos for fun tonight and he says... that is not like you. I’ve told him several times I’m curious into bdsm, role play, anal play/sex, curious about rough sex and it goes even deeper than that. I find myself more submissive and he says he isn’t vanilla but he’s too shy to talk about it because he sees me as this “gentle “ princess or something.... if he is really as shy as he says he is .. I’m not sure how to get this other side out of him. I told him just to own it. I said sex is fun dirty and messy so fuck it. I swear he looked at me like I grew another face or something. I’m not a take charge kinda gal, I respond better when others take charge (again that’s only in the bedroom).. I’m accidental bossy and alpha female other wise... don’t mean to be just sorta had to be all my life. Anyway, I’m confused. I put away my wild side for him and he’s willing to bring some of it out in toy play... but how do I get him to quit being so shy about it.. it’s just fun. I would love to hear about his wants and stuff. He knows that, but he’s shy about it. It’s frustrating. No he isn’t cheating, I’m sure of that. Trust me, I’m a better investigator than the FBI Lol. We have a great marriage except for the sex part of it. He’s 38 and I’m 36. I’m always turned on it never shuts off so it’s kinda difficult on my end here. Thanks!
less
01/21/2021
Ladywithsecrets
Thanks! Yeah he’s supposed to see an endocrinologist because his testosterone levels were below 300. I tried watching porn with him and he’s like “I can’t watch porn with you!” And he starts acting all shy. Lol! I think I’m just gonna turn it on. I never knew he saw me as this “precious” item. I am not gonna break lol! Thanks for the advice!
01/21/2021
When he falls asleep tie him up and give him the time of his life.
01/24/2021
Quote:
first things first there is nothing wrong with trying new stuff. if he is that shy then he could problably be a good sub. so get you some anal plugs and some other things start playin with him then go get you a pegging kit with real skin feel and just get him loosened up then just hardcore thrusting on his ass. this way he doesnt even have to think if he gonna get hard or not cause thats not the objective. i bet he start getn hard after he gets into playing the role bjut it tskes a little time. so hope this helps yall
Originally posted by
Ladywithsecrets
I have a sexual dilemma. A BIG ONE!! My husband and I have been married for a few years and he has had trouble with low testosterone, ED and let’s just face it hardly no sex at all. I’ve been loyal and it’s freaking hard. I sent him naughty videos
...
more
I have a sexual dilemma. A BIG ONE!! My husband and I have been married for a few years and he has had trouble with low testosterone, ED and let’s just face it hardly no sex at all. I’ve been loyal and it’s freaking hard. I sent him naughty videos for fun tonight and he says... that is not like you. I’ve told him several times I’m curious into bdsm, role play, anal play/sex, curious about rough sex and it goes even deeper than that. I find myself more submissive and he says he isn’t vanilla but he’s too shy to talk about it because he sees me as this “gentle “ princess or something.... if he is really as shy as he says he is .. I’m not sure how to get this other side out of him. I told him just to own it. I said sex is fun dirty and messy so fuck it. I swear he looked at me like I grew another face or something. I’m not a take charge kinda gal, I respond better when others take charge (again that’s only in the bedroom).. I’m accidental bossy and alpha female other wise... don’t mean to be just sorta had to be all my life. Anyway, I’m confused. I put away my wild side for him and he’s willing to bring some of it out in toy play... but how do I get him to quit being so shy about it.. it’s just fun. I would love to hear about his wants and stuff. He knows that, but he’s shy about it. It’s frustrating. No he isn’t cheating, I’m sure of that. Trust me, I’m a better investigator than the FBI Lol. We have a great marriage except for the sex part of it. He’s 38 and I’m 36. I’m always turned on it never shuts off so it’s kinda difficult on my end here. Thanks!
less
01/25/2021
No matter what make your woman feel good everyday its our duty too satisfy our woman. i dont just mean sexually i mean tell them they pretty,do anything they may need, send her to get her hair done, go buy her some weed if you like that. just find anyway you can to make her feel loved and sexy. And if you dont love them just tell them and move forward. Hopefully this makes sense to yall! And i bout forgot eat that pussy till she shakin!!
01/25/2021
Quote:
Well Put!!
Originally posted by
nikywolfe
Girl I feel for ya! Well I'm not a guy and I dont know your husband but I can say men are visual! Is there any way you can get him to watch porn with you? or even let him watch on his own. The visuals will feed into his mind and he will start
...
more
Girl I feel for ya! Well I'm not a guy and I dont know your husband but I can say men are visual! Is there any way you can get him to watch porn with you? or even let him watch on his own. The visuals will feed into his mind and he will start to crave an emulate. It wont happen overnight but it will expose him to the fun and raunchy episodes you desire and he'll want to act them out with you!
Also, I would be concerned with his health by mentioning he has low testosterone and ED. That is usually an indicator of an underlying health condition. I would encourage him to go see a doctor and get it worked out. Men who level out their testosterone, and any other areas he is lacking in, end up not only with better sex drive but an overall improvement in their day to day wellbeing.
Continue to talk to him and work at it, when you dont is when the relationship starts to decline. Lets get that man some pep back in his step!!! less
Also, I would be concerned with his health by mentioning he has low testosterone and ED. That is usually an indicator of an underlying health condition. I would encourage him to go see a doctor and get it worked out. Men who level out their testosterone, and any other areas he is lacking in, end up not only with better sex drive but an overall improvement in their day to day wellbeing.
Continue to talk to him and work at it, when you dont is when the relationship starts to decline. Lets get that man some pep back in his step!!! less
01/25/2021
Quote:
yes yes yes yes!! but he gotta get out that shyness and he will if she plays the role for him!
Originally posted by
ToyLover99
When he falls asleep tie him up and give him the time of his life.
01/25/2021
It can be hard to get a conservative person to come out of their shell, I went through this myself because I was afraid to say what I wanted. I eventually overcame that but it wasn't easy, maybe try making a game out of it, both of you think about what you like and don't like, what you want to try and not try and so on then write them down on pieces of paper placed in 2 jars. The no jar and the willing jar, then go through each jar to see what compromise you have come up with, take the disgarded ones and toss them out but keep the jar to use as your yes jar, then take the willing jar into the bedroom and shuffle it then pick what you will do that night, if you both enjoy what you did put it in the yes jar for later use if one of you really hated it then toss it. If all else fails ask your huband if he would be uncomfortable with you pleasuring yourself before or after. I hope this helps, you can talk to him during sex to and give dirty commands which will help him understand you're not fragile and won't break if he's rough with you. My husband was afraid of hurting me but I just went for it and told him one night to pull my hair and he did gentlt but I told him to pull harder and now he's not afraid to just grab me and do what he wants but he also knows if I say no it means no and he won't pressure me. My husband is definitely amazing to my needs and I love to do things he wants as well.
01/26/2021
ED!
I am an older guy who has been horny his entire life. I have been loyal and married for 42 years, I have ED and as much as my wife and I want to have sex, I can’t keep it up any more and I feel bad for her and it is one of the reasons I’m on this site to try and keep her satisfied. She tells me no worries it’s all good, but it’s not for me. Now your problem, one of the woman responding was dead on, men are visual. If you dress up sexy and he does not go “boing”, you have a bigger problem, because even if he can’t get it up, he will try. If not for himself, for you. I feel awful I can’t satisfy my wife, but it doesn’t stop me from trying.
01/27/2021
Quote:
Your husband is a lucky man to have you wanting to grow your relationship- and especially in the intimate kink realm.
Originally posted by
Ladywithsecrets
I have a sexual dilemma. A BIG ONE!! My husband and I have been married for a few years and he has had trouble with low testosterone, ED and let’s just face it hardly no sex at all. I’ve been loyal and it’s freaking hard. I sent him naughty videos
...
more
I have a sexual dilemma. A BIG ONE!! My husband and I have been married for a few years and he has had trouble with low testosterone, ED and let’s just face it hardly no sex at all. I’ve been loyal and it’s freaking hard. I sent him naughty videos for fun tonight and he says... that is not like you. I’ve told him several times I’m curious into bdsm, role play, anal play/sex, curious about rough sex and it goes even deeper than that. I find myself more submissive and he says he isn’t vanilla but he’s too shy to talk about it because he sees me as this “gentle “ princess or something.... if he is really as shy as he says he is .. I’m not sure how to get this other side out of him. I told him just to own it. I said sex is fun dirty and messy so fuck it. I swear he looked at me like I grew another face or something. I’m not a take charge kinda gal, I respond better when others take charge (again that’s only in the bedroom).. I’m accidental bossy and alpha female other wise... don’t mean to be just sorta had to be all my life. Anyway, I’m confused. I put away my wild side for him and he’s willing to bring some of it out in toy play... but how do I get him to quit being so shy about it.. it’s just fun. I would love to hear about his wants and stuff. He knows that, but he’s shy about it. It’s frustrating. No he isn’t cheating, I’m sure of that. Trust me, I’m a better investigator than the FBI Lol. We have a great marriage except for the sex part of it. He’s 38 and I’m 36. I’m always turned on it never shuts off so it’s kinda difficult on my end here. Thanks!
less
Fitness, diet and sleep quality have a huge impact on libido and sexual confidence.
I love alpha females and their confidence and drive. But they can neuter Yin/Yang sexual polarity and harmony by maintaining dominance within the home, and by extension the bedroom.
Do not demand or nag he be more dominant- that's like backseat driving. You're only undermining his leadership. Show his masculinity respect. Entice him. Be more and more submissive. Make him feel like a man. And compliment his advances.
Don't tell him to be rougher with you, or whatever. Just tell him how wet it makes you when he is in control, makes decisions, restrains you- whatever is appropriate.
Also, simply talking about non-monogamy can put a sexual voltage into the atmosphere. Even if its only hypothetical.
02/06/2021
Seek professional advice please. Life is too short not to enjoy it.
02/08/2021
Quote:
A couple of options:
Originally posted by
Ladywithsecrets
I have a sexual dilemma. A BIG ONE!! My husband and I have been married for a few years and he has had trouble with low testosterone, ED and let’s just face it hardly no sex at all. I’ve been loyal and it’s freaking hard. I sent him naughty videos
...
more
I have a sexual dilemma. A BIG ONE!! My husband and I have been married for a few years and he has had trouble with low testosterone, ED and let’s just face it hardly no sex at all. I’ve been loyal and it’s freaking hard. I sent him naughty videos for fun tonight and he says... that is not like you. I’ve told him several times I’m curious into bdsm, role play, anal play/sex, curious about rough sex and it goes even deeper than that. I find myself more submissive and he says he isn’t vanilla but he’s too shy to talk about it because he sees me as this “gentle “ princess or something.... if he is really as shy as he says he is .. I’m not sure how to get this other side out of him. I told him just to own it. I said sex is fun dirty and messy so fuck it. I swear he looked at me like I grew another face or something. I’m not a take charge kinda gal, I respond better when others take charge (again that’s only in the bedroom).. I’m accidental bossy and alpha female other wise... don’t mean to be just sorta had to be all my life. Anyway, I’m confused. I put away my wild side for him and he’s willing to bring some of it out in toy play... but how do I get him to quit being so shy about it.. it’s just fun. I would love to hear about his wants and stuff. He knows that, but he’s shy about it. It’s frustrating. No he isn’t cheating, I’m sure of that. Trust me, I’m a better investigator than the FBI Lol. We have a great marriage except for the sex part of it. He’s 38 and I’m 36. I’m always turned on it never shuts off so it’s kinda difficult on my end here. Thanks!
less
1) Introduce a 3rd party. Maybe have him/her just watch and not participate.
2) Get some Cialis, cut it in half and slip it to him
3) Get freaky on your own. From what you wear around the house, in bed etc. Rock a butt plug.
4) Get a hotel room and just be wild
5) Alcohol helps also to bring the freak out. Weed brownie or gummy
6) Play with his butt (rim job, finger etc.)
7) Most importantly, ask him what is his fantasy? Even if he is vanilla, he still has a child-hood fantasy? - Student teacher, glory hole etc.
02/24/2021
Total posts: 14
Unique posters: 10