The New Intimacy

Broaching sex related subjects.

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Contributor: Gr8pumpkin Gr8pumpkin
What is a good way and time to broach sexual subjects, such as things you want to try, bringing toys into the mix and so forth.
I have some things I often fantasize about, but do not know how to bring them up and not sound like a pervert. They aren't sadistic, or hurtful, just different from our normal program.
Thanks for any hints.
06/04/2013
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Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Is there any chance that these things are featured in porn, somewhere? (Providing you watch porn, that is.) If so, I'd start there and say something like "wow, that's really hot, do you think you'd be interested in doing that?" and see where it goes.

But, for the most part, those conversations need to happen outside of the bedroom over a glass of wine or your favorite spirit when things in the relationship are calm and stable.
06/04/2013
Contributor: MrWill MrWill
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Is there any chance that these things are featured in porn, somewhere? (Providing you watch porn, that is.) If so, I'd start there and say something like "wow, that's really hot, do you think you'd be interested in doing that?" ... more
I agree wholeheartedly here. I have always brought things up heat of the moment though.. It's worked okay for me, even if I do get the occasional look of shock and a "You want me to stick what, where?"
06/04/2013
Contributor: js250 js250
My husband and I will talk about our fantasies and new ideas when we are cuddling and relaxed together...or during sex if we take a bit of a break. We make plans for a weekend marathon and gather new and old toys for trying out--the anticipation is incredible!! I would try setting some time aside to read erotica together, talk about new toys and maybe shop for them together and detail what you would like to do with them....start out slow and build up so neither one of you get uncomfortable.
06/04/2013
Contributor: Ciao. Ciao.
It's definitely good if you can talk things through outside of the moment (not that you can't talk then too), but that helps take the pressure off the other person and makes it a little easier to explore why something might or might not work.
06/04/2013
Contributor: BlackOrchid BlackOrchid
my boyfriend and i text each other fantasies and things we want to try. In bed if Im really in the moment and want something out of the ordinary I just say it. And the one time I wanted to do something I thought would be turned down, he said yes. and it was great. So, always ask for what you want... you might just be surprised.
06/04/2013
Contributor: Nezzie13 Nezzie13
I often tell my partner about things I've read online, so it's easy for me to bring up things since I do it all the time. If it's something small, like a new position I ask "Can I try something?" while we're at it and he trusts me enough to agree. I'd never do that with something big though; he likes to be forewarned!
06/04/2013
Contributor: KinkyKatieJames KinkyKatieJames
My boyfriend and I bring things up when we are relaxing in bed together, usually when cuddling. All I can say is to be open and honest. My boyfriend brought up things to me that I had never expected. I was happy that he could open up to me and decided to keep and open mind. I hope your situation works out similarly.
06/06/2013
Contributor: gsfanatic gsfanatic
I usually just directly bring it up when we're both relaxed
06/06/2013
Contributor: SaucyxGirl SaucyxGirl
I would say directly and honestly is the best way to do it. Find a a quiet time when neither of you are preoccupied with other things.
06/07/2013