Adding a third?

Contributor: Pyrotastic Pyrotastic
I’ve only ever been with my husband sexually, and sometimes I feel like I’ve missed out on so many things and wonder what it would be like to be with another man. I’ve had the conversation with my hubby and he says he’s ok with the idea of a threesome. But we don’t know how to even approach finding a third let alone safely. Have any some ever added a third?
10/07/2022
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Contributor: Robin Goodfellow Robin Goodfellow
Quote:
Originally posted by Pyrotastic
I’ve only ever been with my husband sexually, and sometimes I feel like I’ve missed out on so many things and wonder what it would be like to be with another man. I’ve had the conversation with my hubby and he says he’s ok with the idea of a ... more
Yes we have added extra people. If you are serious about it I highly recommend joining a paid subscription swinger site like SDC, SLS or Kasidie. There you can find single male profiles who have certified reviews from other couples- which in the lifestyle is gold. And the more experienced guys largely know their role in the lifestyle and with couples, i.e. respectful and good communication.

You can try fetlife, or tinder or doublelist for free but you will waste a lot of time and encounter more undesirables and guys who are inexperienced and flake.

Best of luck on your adventure!
10/09/2022
Contributor: Gladly giving Gladly giving
Quote:
Originally posted by Pyrotastic
I’ve only ever been with my husband sexually, and sometimes I feel like I’ve missed out on so many things and wonder what it would be like to be with another man. I’ve had the conversation with my hubby and he says he’s ok with the idea of a ... more
I was in a relationship that had many 3s. And more. The first thing is you must be very open with each other and communicate what you both are wanting out of it, as well as what you think you both think your participation will be. Jealousy can be a mother fucker and may be present even if you both go into it with open minds. Make it ok before hand to be able to express that if it comes up. Another thing you need to do as the one who is (we will say) benefiting the most. I found it important to make sure he gets plenty of your attention because it is really easy to get caught up in the new person. With that being said we found it very erotic. Introducing others has always been one of my favorites. Trust in each other and it can be one of the most exciting experiences. We always seemed to have very hot passionate sex after the 3rd left. I also discovered that I found out that I was very turned on by watching her. Hope you enjoy it as much as we did. Just remember communication and trust.
Have fun and enjoy.
10/10/2022
Contributor: Pyrotastic Pyrotastic
Thank you both for your responses. I greatly appreciate it!
10/10/2022
Contributor: Robin Goodfellow Robin Goodfellow
Quote:
Originally posted by Pyrotastic
Thank you both for your responses. I greatly appreciate it!
You’re welcome!

One more thing! Check out ourhotwives.org with your husband. It is an inspiring resource/forum/communi ty that goes over absolutely everything a couple could encounter in sharing the wife. Reading about both the husbands and wives emotions and personal experiences is invaluable. Highly recommend it!
10/18/2022
Contributor: abee abee
Quote:
Originally posted by Gladly giving
I was in a relationship that had many 3s. And more. The first thing is you must be very open with each other and communicate what you both are wanting out of it, as well as what you think you both think your participation will be. Jealousy can be a ... more
I second this strongly. A close friend added a third at her (now ex-) boyfriend's prompting, and he found that it made him jealous, which he took out on her. Communication and trust are super important. I would say not only should you think about the abstract fantasy of having a third person involved - think about, and have your husband think about, the concrete idea of someone touching you where he does, doing things to you that he does. Would that bother him or excite him? How do each of you imagine this going? Figuring that out is the first step, IMO.
You should also talk specific boundaries, aka anything that you or he would NOT feel comfortable with the third person doing, how much your husband wants to participate (is he into men or would both men focus on you? does he just want to watch?), etc. Discuss things afterwards (basically do some aftercare, even if the sex wasn't kinky) to examine and uproot any feelings of jealousy or insecurity that might arise and make sure it was a positive experience for everyone.
I've been a third in several relationships and really enjoyed it. I met couples through FetLife (which is especially good if you are looking for kinky swingers) and once, accidentally, through Tinder. Being upfront about what you're looking for will save you a lot of time.
All that said, it's great that your husband is open to it, and I hope you both have a blast!
10/19/2022
Contributor: skeeterlynn skeeterlynn
Quote:
Originally posted by Pyrotastic
I’ve only ever been with my husband sexually, and sometimes I feel like I’ve missed out on so many things and wonder what it would be like to be with another man. I’ve had the conversation with my hubby and he says he’s ok with the idea of a ... more
All of our 3rds have been friends. Everyone need to be on the same page for it to work, and make sure you get up ground rules.
11/03/2022
Contributor: McBryde's Pride Production and Studio (MPPS) McBryde's Pride Production and Studio (MPPS)
Quote:
Originally posted by Pyrotastic
I’ve only ever been with my husband sexually, and sometimes I feel like I’ve missed out on so many things and wonder what it would be like to be with another man. I’ve had the conversation with my hubby and he says he’s ok with the idea of a ... more
My husband is in the same boat. Just me. (42 & 31)
He's younger and wants to try new things and we both really want to explore life. Finding someone that agrees with his package size is hard though.
11/28/2022
Contributor: Arianne Arianne
Quote:
Originally posted by Pyrotastic
I’ve only ever been with my husband sexually, and sometimes I feel like I’ve missed out on so many things and wonder what it would be like to be with another man. I’ve had the conversation with my hubby and he says he’s ok with the idea of a ... more
Not how I've ever done it, but saw it in a movie and it makes sense. The woman is on her own. A man she likes notices her. There's flirting. The woman texts the husband. The husband meets the wife. The man discovers his mistake and starts to head out. The husband stops him and explains that she's selected him, and he, the husband, is okay with it. It seems like a nice way to set up a situation with all parties happy.

One thing I have tried is hiring a masseuse who will travel and is willing to be scantily clad. That worked half the time.
01/11/2023