The New Intimacy

$h!t your parents said

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Contributor: WHITEMIKE WHITEMIKE
I had to post this. My parents said some strange stuff as I grew up.

"Eat your vegetables, it will put lead in your pencil." I always responded with "What pencil? I don't have a pencil, mom!"
I didn't know what that meant until I was 15.
"I bet you have been kissing girls, because your face is breaking out." this is a ploy to get a confession.
Anyone have something bizarre their parents said to them? It can be about anthing.
03/08/2011
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Contributor: darthkitt3n darthkitt3n
My brother used to always swallow his gum when he was done chewing it, so my mom convinced him his stomach would explode if he kept doing that. She also told us that she didn't have a belly button because it was cut off when my brother was born. I didn't really believe her on that one, though I never really saw her stomach to see if there was a belly button there or not. I'm not really sure why she kept trying to convince us she didn't have one.
03/09/2011
Contributor: LilLostLenore LilLostLenore
my mom calls broccolli, little trees.
01/11/2012
Contributor: cryinglightning86 cryinglightning86
My mom was always incredibly open with me. Awkwardly so. I'm really open about sex, but I really don't need/want to know when, where, and how I was conceived, for instance.
06/26/2012
Contributor: pandasauce pandasauce
You know that scene in Gone With the Wind where Rhett whisks Scarlett upstairs and the next morning she's happy and smiley?
My mom turns to me during this and goes "Honey, that's what you look like after a night of hot sex."
03/03/2013
Contributor: BlackOrchid BlackOrchid
My mom will say just about anything when she's drunk. Even sober she's very open. She's also had 4 marriages, so yeah, I know WAY too much about my moms sex life!
06/13/2013
Contributor: Eugler Eugler
Quote:
Originally posted by WHITEMIKE
I had to post this. My parents said some strange stuff as I grew up.

"Eat your vegetables, it will put lead in your pencil." I always responded with "What pencil? I don't have a pencil, mom!"
I didn't know ... more
I remember some horizontal jokes my parents made when I was a kid.

My father always made the joke:

Trapp Trapp - a Trapper
Tripp Tripp - (pause).... a native American

And he was laughing his butt off when we children complemented the sentence with ... a Tripper, which is German an means gonorrhea.
06/14/2013
Contributor: ViVix ViVix
Quote:
Originally posted by WHITEMIKE
I had to post this. My parents said some strange stuff as I grew up.

"Eat your vegetables, it will put lead in your pencil." I always responded with "What pencil? I don't have a pencil, mom!"
I didn't know ... more
Actually, my mom is incredibly bad with slang, so I have several. However, apple doesn't fall too far from the tree...the other day I threatened to spank my daughter's pants off if she didn't quite whining and crying about everything. She looked straight at me, looked down at her dress, and said "I'm not wearing pants!" LOL. Btw...this kid doesn't get spanked hardly ever, and I obviously even bluff poorly.
06/16/2013