The New Intimacy

Mind over matter

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Contributor: VanillaFreeSex VanillaFreeSex
How much is the gag reflex psychological? I can deep throat without gagging if I'm in control. Once he puts his hand on the back of my head and starts pushing I immediately gag. I practically panic. You would think I'd either have a gag reflex or I don't. You'd think it would be a physical reaction that would happen either way.

Now if he has he hand on my head, especially when he holds my hair back, I do enjoy it as long as I'm not taking all of him in my mouth.
09/12/2019
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Contributor: OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
I'm the same way. I can take all of him. If he pushes up , I gag. If he even touches my head I stop immediately. Then tell him I'll bite it if you do that again.
09/12/2019
Contributor: VanillaFreeSex VanillaFreeSex
Quote:
Originally posted by OH&W, Lovebears
I'm the same way. I can take all of him. If he pushes up , I gag. If he even touches my head I stop immediately. Then tell him I'll bite it if you do that again.
I may have to try threatening to bite him,lol
09/12/2019
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Thanks for the insight - my wife can get to about 1" from full deep throat and there is no doubt my instinct is to move my hips. Maybe by exercising restraint she can get the last little bit!
09/13/2019
Contributor: VanillaFreeSex VanillaFreeSex
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
Thanks for the insight - my wife can get to about 1" from full deep throat and there is no doubt my instinct is to move my hips. Maybe by exercising restraint she can get the last little bit!
Worth a try! Maybe with her in full control she can take it.
09/13/2019
Contributor: VanillaFreeSex VanillaFreeSex
I've communicated about this issue but he seems unable to control himself. It's starting to piss me off.
09/23/2019
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by VanillaFreeSex
I've communicated about this issue but he seems unable to control himself. It's starting to piss me off.
Based on this and other frustrations you have posted, I wonder if you need to think about moving on to find a more experienced compatible partner.
09/23/2019
Contributor: VanillaFreeSex VanillaFreeSex
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
Based on this and other frustrations you have posted, I wonder if you need to think about moving on to find a more experienced compatible partner.
I know I've been complaining a bit. I appreciate everyone listening and offering support and ideas. This guy treats me really well and I'm just not ready to give up yet. We were all inexperienced once. He is open to trying new things and we have begun to communicate about sex more openly. I've just never been the "teacher" before.

I definitely need to be firmer with him regarding things I DON'T like.

We are in an open relationship so there is the possibility of me getting some needs met elsewhere. It's just so hard for me to meet people.

He really is a good guy. He's worth working on things.
09/23/2019
Contributor: OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
There's a sure fire way for a woman to take charge in the relationship. Do a lot of research on
P-e-g-g-i-n-g. Loving type not any others.
09/24/2019
Contributor: VanillaFreeSex VanillaFreeSex
Quote:
Originally posted by OH&W, Lovebears
There's a sure fire way for a woman to take charge in the relationship. Do a lot of research on
P-e-g-g-i-n-g. Loving type not any others.
I have limited experience with pegging. I really enjoyed it. I got a hard no from my current partner on that one though.
09/29/2019
Contributor: Croc Croc
simple solution - tie his right wrist to furniture, or have him wear jeans and tie it to the belt behind his back
Optional: blindfold. If, after some time he's able to control his urge, remove the blindfold. If it's all good later, you untie him completely
09/30/2019
Contributor: Croc Croc
yeah, 1 more idea, if you guys do it spontaneously

He starts humping, don't push at his thighs.
1. Instead wrap your arms around the hips/back and stop him
2. rotate your head horizontally,
the cheek is pressed to his belly - cock slips out
3. pull his hands to the sides

If this doesn't work
4. take a grip of his balls and start to SLOWLY pull them down and GENTLY squeezing them
That will make him weak in the knees

You do all of these in a quick and determined way.
You can bite or slap his balls too, but that's better after you tried this routine 2-3 times, 'look, I asked you gently before, no offense!'

EDIT: 3. corrected
09/30/2019
Contributor: BettySmith BettySmith
Quote:
Originally posted by VanillaFreeSex
How much is the gag reflex psychological? I can deep throat without gagging if I'm in control. Once he puts his hand on the back of my head and starts pushing I immediately gag. I practically panic. You would think I'd either have a gag ... more
I will NOT face f**k! If I'm blowing you, let me blow you. You touch my head, and we're done.

Sorry, that's just me... Probably a bad experience in a prior life.
07/31/2021