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Ladies who don't orgasm from cunnilingus--- what *do* you like on your clit?

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Contributor: Antipova Antipova
I've never been able to get off from receiving oral, and I saw in Naughty Student's poll here that I wasn't alone.

I had always thought that I had a mental hangup (which is maybe also partly true).

I recently realized, though---I like a lot of pressure on my clit, but friction doesn't do very much for me. I wonder if other women who don't orgasm from oral have similar physical responses? I don't know about you all, but I'm curious to figure it out!

Any thoughts you've got are welcome!
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
alistair , Ms. Spice , wetone123 , G.L. Morrison , Orion , T-n-T , padmeamidala , Darklyvan , Missmarc , Tangerine , 131231e43 , Positwist , MR Chickhabit , ConiMarie , Harpina is gone , Stagger13 , AMGuidroz , ViVix , pinkpottergirl , deltalima , kristina0121 , Cat E. , Shortc8ke , Lacey- , chelly411
25
Antipova , RedGoddess , DeliciousSurprise , Apirka , smashthepatriarchy , MissCandyland , covertwallace , Reiyth , KRD , soccer
10
null , Tuesday , missthing , Coralbell , Dusk , Naughty Student , Gunsmoke , Bignuf , A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) , ZenaidaMacroura , PiratePrincess , CoffeeCup , yrnw , PeachieClean , mastersonv
15
MaryExy , toxie m , JessCee , teeny <3 , DeliciousSurprise , ily , aliceinthehole , Valentinka , anonomous , darthkitt3n , rachaelxfaith , Ivy Wilde , sbon , - Kira - , GonetoLovehoney , SexyStuff , LusciousLollypop , marshmallow , ohsnaprawr , Gone (LD29) , lobstermanswife , heather-mooney , LunaLuthor
23
Antipova , null , Tuesday , Coralbell , BeautifulDarkness , MaryExy , Dusk , Naughty Student , Gunsmoke , toxie m , missap , Bignuf , RedGoddess , A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) , teeny <3 , BBW Talks Toys , ZenaidaMacroura , DeliciousSurprise , ily , Valentinka , Ansley , bayosgirl , anonomous , rachaelxfaith , sbon , LavenderSkies , padmeamidala , Missmarc , GonetoLovehoney , Apirka , SexyStuff , PeachieClean , leelee , covertwallace , Reiyth , marshmallow , KRD , ohsnaprawr , lobstermanswife , mastersonv , LunaLuthor
41
Antipova , Coralbell , BeautifulDarkness , SiNn , Gunsmoke , Bignuf , A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) , teeny <3 , BBW Talks Toys , DeliciousSurprise , Valentinka , Ansley , rachaelxfaith , LavenderSkies , padmeamidala , Missmarc , SexyStuff , PeachieClean , leelee , KRD , mastersonv
21
Antipova , null , Tuesday , missthing , Coralbell , BeautifulDarkness , MaryExy , Naughty Student , SiNn , Gunsmoke , Bignuf , RedGoddess , A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) , teeny <3 , Taylor , SamsDelight , BBW Talks Toys , ZenaidaMacroura , PiratePrincess , DeliciousSurprise , ily , aliceinthehole , zracer , ColorMeCute , Ansley , rachaelxfaith , Ivy Wilde , sbon , Nothere , LavenderSkies , Fun Lover , padmeamidala , - Kira - , Missmarc , GonetoLovehoney , Apirka , SexyStuff , kittychilla , yrnw , LusciousLollypop , PeachieClean , leelee , Reiyth , KRD , ohsnaprawr , Gone (LD29) , LunaLuthor
47
Naughty Student , RedGoddess , BBW Talks Toys , ZenaidaMacroura , DeliciousSurprise , anonomous , rachaelxfaith , sbon , padmeamidala , - Kira - , Apirka , Gone (LD29)
12
Antipova , null , Tuesday , Coralbell , MaryExy , SiNn , Gunsmoke , A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) , teeny <3 , SamsDelight , PiratePrincess , Ansley , Ivy Wilde , Nothere , potstickers , LavenderSkies , GonetoLovehoney , yrnw , PeachieClean , KRD , ohsnaprawr
21
Antipova
1
Antipova , Tuesday , Coralbell , MaryExy , Dusk , Rossie , Naughty Student , SiNn , toxie m , JessCee , A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) , teeny <3 , SamsDelight , BBW Talks Toys , ZenaidaMacroura , PiratePrincess , DeliciousSurprise , ily , aliceinthehole , bayosgirl , anonomous , sbon , Nothere , LavenderSkies , padmeamidala , - Kira - , Missmarc , GonetoLovehoney , SexyStuff , Positwist , kittychilla , LusciousLollypop , PeachieClean , covertwallace , marshmallow , KRD , Gone (LD29) , lobstermanswife , heather-mooney , mastersonv
40
Antipova , Tuesday , SiNn , Gunsmoke , Bignuf , A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) , teeny <3 , Taylor , SamsDelight , BBW Talks Toys , PiratePrincess , CoffeeCup , aliceinthehole , Ansley , darthkitt3n , Ivy Wilde , Nothere , LavenderSkies , - Kira - , Apirka , Positwist , yrnw , PeachieClean , lobstermanswife
24
null , Coralbell , MaryExy , Dusk , Rossie , Naughty Student , toxie m , JessCee , RedGoddess , Pixie5 , ZenaidaMacroura , DeliciousSurprise , ily , anonomous , rachaelxfaith , sbon , Missmarc , SexyStuff , LusciousLollypop , MissCandyland , Reiyth , marshmallow , ohsnaprawr , Gone (LD29) , mastersonv
25
Tuesday , ZenaidaMacroura , CoffeeCup , rachaelxfaith , Nothere , Fun Lover , - Kira - , GonetoLovehoney , yrnw
9
Antipova , Dusk , JessCee , Bignuf , A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) , teeny <3 , Taylor , PiratePrincess , ily , smashthepatriarchy
10
Coralbell , BeautifulDarkness , MaryExy , Rossie , Naughty Student , SiNn , Gunsmoke , toxie m , RedGoddess , BBW Talks Toys , DeliciousSurprise , aliceinthehole , Valentinka , Ansley , anonomous , darthkitt3n , Ivy Wilde , sbon , LavenderSkies , Missmarc , Apirka , SexyStuff , PeachieClean , covertwallace , Reiyth , KRD , Gone (LD29)
27
Rossie , aliceinthehole , Valentinka , Ansley , anonomous , darthkitt3n , LavenderSkies , Missmarc , GonetoLovehoney , covertwallace , lobstermanswife
11
Antipova , null , Tuesday , Coralbell , MaryExy , Naughty Student , Gunsmoke , toxie m , JessCee , RedGoddess , A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) , SamsDelight , BBW Talks Toys , ZenaidaMacroura , bayosgirl , sbon , Nothere , - Kira - , Positwist , yrnw , PeachieClean , MissCandyland , Gone (LD29) , heather-mooney
24
Total votes: 386 (90 voters)
Poll is open
07/02/2011
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Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
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07/02/2011
Contributor: Tuesday Tuesday
I'm surprised that you say you have a sensitive clit. I've always thoght that the reason I never come from oral is that I have a clit o'steel.
07/02/2011
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
Quote:
Originally posted by Tuesday
I'm surprised that you say you have a sensitive clit. I've always thoght that the reason I never come from oral is that I have a clit o'steel.
With hands, mine or my partners, it takes practically nothing. I can have an orgasm if I'm wearing tight jeans, and that sort of thing. Also a lot of vibes numb me, or are way too powerful. At the same time, if it's firm, I can get off using a vibrator that other people will rate only 2 vrooms (like Doc Johnson's Reflections). Also, if I'm having PIV or PIA sex, a vibrator or even a hand on my clit usually throws me off, because my clit is too sensitive.

So, it's sensitive in a lot of ways. but not in others. That's what I'm trying to figure out from this poll---because, dang it, I know my clit *works,* sometimes even too well, but it doesn't seem to respond to tongues or lips.

I wanna figure it out!
07/02/2011
Contributor: Tuesday Tuesday
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
With hands, mine or my partners, it takes practically nothing. I can have an orgasm if I'm wearing tight jeans, and that sort of thing. Also a lot of vibes numb me, or are way too powerful. At the same time, if it's firm, I can get off using ... more
Tongues and lips are just too soft for the job, IMO.
07/02/2011
Contributor: Dusk Dusk
I'm only able to orgasm from manual stimulation. This can include a clit vibe but most of the time the vibrations become more distracting at the end than helpful. I'm not sure if it's the pressure or the friction that I like the best, but I know I use both to my advantage. I've been known to rub myself sore before. I consider myself someone with a really sensitive clit (you touch the bare thing and I'll practically kill you) but it takes FOREVER for me to orgasm, even by myself.
07/02/2011
Contributor: Rossie Rossie
I like to have my husband go down on me with slow and heavy licking on my clit, and use a toy or his finger on my g-spot simultaneously. Orgasms usually are quite intense.
I hate it when he uses the tip of his tongue to jab my clit. Instead of giving me a good time, it'll actually desensitize me!
07/02/2011
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
I wish I had an oral guru to help my partner and I out!!!!

I have a very picky pussy. My clit needs a lot of stimulation for a long time, and my g-spot is really picky too. I have not yet orgasmed through oral, but I keep hoping one day we'll get there.
07/02/2011
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
Thanks for all the thoughts so far, everyone!

I know, I keep hoping too...it's actually really easy for me to orgasm in basically any other way (it can be as quick as two minutes), but a partner can spend I don't even know how long trying with pretty much no results.
07/02/2011
Contributor: Coralbell Coralbell
I need pressure. Oral feels good, but a tongue is just too soft to get me off. Fingers work much better.
07/03/2011
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
I just found an old post here, and Backseat Boohoo (who's not around anymore) said this (which I'd never heard of before, and thought it might be helpful for folks reading this thread:

[quote="backseat boohoo"|"This is pretty much me--I NEED pressure to have a clitoral orgasm, which is why vibes that shut off when you press too hard are a no-go for me. I love receiving oral, it just doesn't make me come because there's not enough pressure.


If my partner wants to finish me off that way, they can just give me head, then when I get really close, just press on me with their palm for a minute or so. It usually works. "]
07/03/2011
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
I've never been able to get off from receiving oral, and I saw in Naughty Student's poll here that I wasn't alone.

I had always thought that I had a mental hangup (which is maybe also partly true).

I recently realized, ... more
I DID answer the "below" choices because MOSTLY I do not come from receiving oral, although I like it a lot. If no manual addition is made, I usually don't reach real climax from oral alone. IF it happens, it is because he was licking AROUND the clit and only "swiping it" with his tongue on occasion, if that makes any sense. I seem to be more sensitive in the surrounding clit hood then the clit itself, unless he is using his finger or penis, for that matter...then it just goes BOOM and I can come and come over and over from manual clit stimulation. Guess it is just the different sensations we respond to.

I know I love to GIVE oral a lot more then get oral. Sucking on HIM makes me "soaking wet" in seconds.
07/03/2011
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Tuesday
Tongues and lips are just too soft for the job, IMO.
That may indeed be my same situation. Well put.
07/03/2011
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
I wish I had an oral guru to help my partner and I out!!!!

I have a very picky pussy. My clit needs a lot of stimulation for a long time, and my g-spot is really picky too. I have not yet orgasmed through oral, but I keep hoping one day ... more
There are some great books and videos out there on this subject.
07/03/2011
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Coralbell
I need pressure. Oral feels good, but a tongue is just too soft to get me off. Fingers work much better.
Bingo. Same here. I second the motion.
07/03/2011
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
I think I thanked you for your input on your wall instead of the forum post, Bignuf, but thanks for the thoughts!
07/06/2011
Contributor: G.L. Morrison G.L. Morrison
I found your request to "not check anything else" if you DO come from oral sex, a bit confusing. I'm assuming that your intention was to better understand if other people shared your experience, what was the conditions under which they COULD come. However, I don't think that was clear and I highly suspect that many people choice to select another option rather than honor the restriction.

So I imagine that much more than 4 of those who answered here actually DO orgasm from oral sex.

Personally I don't orgasm easily but oral sex is more likely than any other form of stimulation. I have a large number of lovers and am astonished at how inept some cunnilinguists are. I imagine that monogamy and poor technique or interest on the partner's part would be the largest deterrent to orgasm. Just saying: sometimes its the mechanic and not the car.
07/06/2011
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
Quote:
Originally posted by G.L. Morrison
I found your request to "not check anything else" if you DO come from oral sex, a bit confusing. I'm assuming that your intention was to better understand if other people shared your experience, what was the conditions under which they ... more
I had worried about that, but I couldn't think of any other way to let people who do come from oral know that they were welcome to the thread, while keeping the voting pool made up only of people who don't. (As you assume correctly, I want the smaller voting pool so we could have data about how the clits of non-oral-orgasming females respond to different stimuli, and could compare that data with what we already know about females at large.) Did you have an idea?

And for the mechanic/car analogy---I'm sure that's the case for some people. Maybe even a lot. Without going into a lot of personal detail, though, I've definitely "tested that hypothesis" for myself, and some very skilled, *very* interested mechanics as well as some people picking up a wrench for the first time have given it a try, with no success for any of them. And, sure, I can feel the difference between practiced and unpracticed---but that has yet to translate into results.

So, for some people, probably. For me, I think possibly a physical predilection for other types of stimulation (pressure instead of friction?) eventually gave me a mental hangup, and it's not the mechanic's fault that the engine won't turn over.
07/06/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
The only time I orgasm from oral sex is if my g-spot is being stimulated simultaneously. If not, forget it.
07/06/2011
Contributor: PiratePrincess PiratePrincess
I have never been able to get anything from oral or from manual stimulation. The only way I can get off with a toy on my clit is if I also have something inserted as well. I've never enjoyed oral at all, but that seems to be because my clit is overly sensitive and can't handle direct stimulation.
07/06/2011
Contributor: toxie m toxie m
I can only come from oral if a very specific set of motions are done in a certain way for a pretty solid amount of time (no less than half an hour, usually). There's a particular kind of licking/sucking I like on my clit that I'm not even sure what it is that he's doing, but it's great. I like that and great big strong licks, nothing too pin-point or intense. But then after 5 or so minutes, I need penetration with g-spot stimulation. Then after maybe 10 minutes I also need anal stimulation. And then while all that goes on I need to try and relax and not feel guilty that he's getting tired and try to talk myself into coming. It very rarely works out that this all lines up, one glitch can throw the whole thing back to the beginning and by then he won't have the energy to start all over again. Ah well.
07/07/2011
Contributor: Howells Howells
Very good poll/discussion, here are some stuff to learn!
07/07/2011
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
Thanks for the responses, folks!
07/07/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
that was the longest poll ever!

i answered that i've never come from oral and i think it's mental AND physical... i don't mind pressure, but it's more of a friction thing for me.. i CAN and have had g-spot o's without clitoral stimulation, but they're VERY rare. i can totally have an O without my G being stimulated too, which is less rare (Because anymore my vibe is ever-present in sex play)

i think my clit is on the average side for sensibility, though i KNOW that all my serious vibe play has probably dulled it at least a fair amount.


cody can go for days on my clit licking and sucking and it sometimes feels REALLY good but honestly, i never ask for it, and it doesnt do a whole lot for me. i just like that he's servicing me. its all about ME.

it's very sweet, the way he pays attention to me down there. especially since it took him a couple months to even GO there because the only 2 girls he'd ever been with were bald down there and i had a full hippy bush. granted, it wasnt a big bush, it was on the small side, but mine, and i let it go free, happily. it was a great feeling when he finally got over his fear of pubic hair (he shaves his too.. what a weirdy, but i him.)


07/08/2011
Contributor: SexyLilPixi SexyLilPixi
I get off from it, and intensely, but honestly (and many women are gonna think I'm NUTS here), I prefer a wand on my clit to a slobbering mouth with hot breath all over the place. And then there's the whole stubble near your ass cheeks thing while you have to hear him breath oddly.

I'll never turn down a 69, though.
07/10/2011
Contributor: bayosgirl bayosgirl
I can only get off by stimulating my clitoris directly with my fingers.
07/12/2011
Contributor: anonomous anonomous
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
I can only get off by stimulating my clitoris directly with my fingers.
Ive never been able to with just my fingers its always with a vibrator, I want to be able to though!
07/12/2011
Contributor: rachaelxfaith rachaelxfaith
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
I've never been able to get off from receiving oral, and I saw in Naughty Student's poll here that I wasn't alone.

I had always thought that I had a mental hangup (which is maybe also partly true).

I recently realized, ... more
I think I could orgasm via oral, if someone was patient enough. It does take a while to get me off, with either knowledgeable fingers or a strong, well-placed vibrator.

I also have to really not be anxious or self-conscious at all with a partner for it to happen, even if I'm the one touching myself.

In the past, I've tried abstaining from vibrators in an attempt to see if it would make it easier to make me come with a partner, but never noticed a difference. Guess I've just got a not-too-sensitive clit.
07/15/2011
Contributor: Ivy Wilde Ivy Wilde
I don't like to give oral (another unpleasant story there), and so I feel somewhat guilty receiving oral. I think that is part of why I don't orgasm. But I also feel that it simply doesn't work for me on the physical level as well. I like clit vibes and I've never met a man who can vibrate his tongue the way a toy vibrates.
07/15/2011
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
Wow, somehow I missed all these new (two months old!) answers! Thanks, gals!
09/24/2011