Is it okay that I don't like giving blowjobs or is there something wrong with me?

Is it okay that I don’t like giving blowjobs or is there something wrong with me?

Set alerts

Updates

Mrs.Colombo

I should begin by saying that I’m really really worried and I really need some help/advice.
Recently I decided to be honest with myself and realized that I don’t like giving my boyfriend blowjobs. Like, at all. Moreover, I’ve never liked it, so it’s not about him. I simply do not enjoy it, I don’t find it pleasurable, it’s boring and sometimes pretty inconvenient. I mean, I gladly do it to make him happy - and, apparently, I don’t suck at it (pun intended) - but it feels like a chore to me.

I’ve tried “minding my own business” if you know what I mean, but I’m not that great at multitasking and one of the actions ends up severely lacking in enthusiasm.

I’m flooded with all those stories about women who can literally cum while sucking a dick, and that a “throat orgasm” is a thing, and that “it’s just so arousing to hear him moan!”? Yeah, I guess it is, but I cannot make myself enjoy it, no matter what I do. I surely don’t want to stop doing it, because he loves when I go down on him, but aghghrrrr…. It’s like I’m broken or something. It feels like I should be enjoying it, and there so many tips on how to enjoy it, but they don’t work for me.

Is there something wrong with me? Are there women out there who don’t like giving blowjobs, too? I’m really frustrated, would really use some help. Thanks.

PS - no gag reflex.

08/12/2019

All promotions

iovys

Quote:

Originally posted by Mrs.Colombo

Hey!

I don't like performing oral on men (any of my past BFs). There's no enjoyment in it for me. Honestly, I think I hate it with a burning passion. Mainly because of three things - I have a terribad phobia for throwing up, I am not fond of the taste or smell of a cock/cum, and I have an oversensitive gag reflex (which goes crazy when paired with my phobia of throwing up). I have yet to figure out if I like doing it on women, as I've never tried that. These things aside, I end up laying down some ground rules if my partner wants a BJ from me. As long as they abide by those rules (basically to do nothing that could possibly stimulate my gag reflex in any manner, which in turn would tip off my phobia of throwing up -- I get past my distaste of dick; it's the least I can do), I'll occasionally pleasure them in that manner if they ask very, very nicely

My last partner was always silent when he was on the receiving end - even when he was coming (via hand job/BJ/otherwise). He pissed me off at one point because if I hadn't come up for air, I would've gotten a mouthful (yep, that'd hit my gag reflex) without any prior warning. The lack of feedback, aside from an occasional twitch of the leg/stomach/penis/hand , was really demotivating, and despite me asking him to tell me what I could improve (to get those reactions), I got nothing. It was like sucking off a suction cup dildo attached to a wall. Very boring.

I don't think there's anything wrong with you. It's okay to dislike certain things.
And if, according to society, there is anything wrong with it, then hey, at least there's two of us.

08/12/2019

Soundside46

If you don’t like it you don’t like it. It’s ok however lots of people do things for their partners that they don’t love to do. It depends if it’s something that makes them happy or gives them great pleasure. I always say oral is a two way street so make sure he is reciprocating and giving you oral in return. You could always try 69 but most people find that position hard to concentrate. But try giving him oral then take a break and have him go down on you and switch back and forth. That will make it more enjoyable for you. I always say if you ask for something you better be willing to do the same. If he wants to cum in your mouth he should be willing to let you cum in his. Same for anal or anything else. It makes for a better relationship. Hope that helps.

08/12/2019

Leil@

(EdenFantasys)

All people are different and have their own preferences and likings. So it is absolutely normal not to like doing some things. And I guess girls cumming from giving a blowjob are rather exceptions. Most women like doing BJ because it is pleasing for their partners, but they don't get sexual pleasure for themselves.

I think your feelings and preferences should be respected, and it makes sense to have an open sincere and friendly conversation with you BF and share your thoughts with him. There are a lot of other fun and exciting things in sex to try besides oral.

But if for your partner it is essential to receive oral pleasure, and you intend to have a long and happy relationship with him, you should find a compromise here. Set the scene where you will feel comfortable and relaxed, try different positions. Maybe 69, where he reciprocates, will work for you perfectly? Also, you may try to involve your hands into play to give your mouth a little respite.

08/13/2019

QueenofEverything81

Quote:

Originally posted by Mrs.Colombo

Girl...I feel you so hard!!

The only pleasure I get from it is the empowerment of knowing that I'm pleasuring him.

I would definitely suggest trying some chocolate syrup or some flavored lubricant to change up the routine for yourself a little bit. You can also try ice chips, Menthol cough drops, throat desensitizing spray or even a little bit of whipped cream.

To avoid gagging, use your hand as a buffer, he still feels the pressure, you don't get your tonsils tickled. Win/win!

As for you being broken...don't think that for one second. I mean, come on let's be honest...it's a penis...in your mouth. The things we do for love and great sex right?

Good sex should be reciprocal and I would venture to guess that he probably knows that it's not your favorite, so do yourself a favor and give yourself some room to breathe...literally... every time you have sex it doesn't have to include a blowjob. That way when you do come back around to it it doesn't feel obligatory and you both enjoy it more.

08/13/2019

Mrs.Colombo

Thanks to everyone for help and advice. I'm glad to realize I'm not the only one who dislikes giving BJs I felt like a black sheep. It's so heartwarming to know there are people who are on the same page with me!

I'm going to try the tips you gave me, and I really hope they will work for me!

Thanks again!

08/14/2019

Gunsmoke

Quote:

Originally posted by Mrs.Colombo

I know I'm weighing in late on this, but I'll mention my experience.

Although my wife never said she didn't like giving BJs - it was obvious by her technique - or lack thereof, that she didn't.

I'd say after about 20 years of lack-luster BJs, she had an epiphany that rejuvenated our whole sex life. She decided that rather than treat sex like a job - it would be our play time together.

Her new attitude was quite remarkable - including much more enthusiastic BJs - so IMO, it's all about attitude. If you want to like it you will, if you want to hate it you will.

The irony is that at my age, I'm almost totally unable to orgasm for her during a BJ - something that she really wants me to do. She now regrets coming to the party so late.

08/14/2019

GingerAnn

As someone who is not particularly fond of giving or receiving oral sex - just not my kind of stimulation - I can say that you may try to find alternative ways of stimulation. For example, some men find passionate handjobs very satisfying. Using your hands primarily and throwing in some lip and tongue action only as an aid might do the trick - just make sure to use an abundance of lube.

Good luck!

08/19/2019

TheToyGuy

Sex is intimidating as well as being intimate. Not everyone can enjoy every aspect same as not everyone can be expected to perform every aspect. It’s natural not to like something.

08/19/2019

Total posts: 9 Unique posters: 8

Make a post