Is no blow jobs a deal breaker?

Contributor: Rod Ronald Rod Ronald
My wife does not give blow jobs...she hates them. It's not them I'm not clean or anything like that, she just doesn't like to. It's a pretty well known fact in my close circle of friends and it gets brought up on occasion at parties and what not. But it really bothers me that so many males are offended by this. They hear the story, and they lose it! "If my girl did that to me, I would dump her ass" and etc. etc. etc. My point is, are you guys serious?! Would you seriously not date a girl just because she wouldn't suck your dick?
12/29/2011
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Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
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12/29/2011
Contributor: Subbi Subbi
Quote:
Originally posted by Rod Ronald
My wife does not give blow jobs...she hates them. It's not them I'm not clean or anything like that, she just doesn't like to. It's a pretty well known fact in my close circle of friends and it gets brought up on occasion at parties ... more
To me it goes both ways. If you expect head you better be giving it. If not then don't complain when you don't lol, I wouldn't leave my S/O just because he wouldn't eat me out tho!
12/29/2011
Contributor: Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
Personally, if my man won't perform oral sex on me, then we're not meant to be. However, if this works in your relationship, that's perfectly fine. What works for one person may not work for another, etc.
12/29/2011
Contributor: MrWishyWashy MrWishyWashy
Tough one...personally, I would ask what aspects she does not like. Does she possibly have a gag reflex, is she afraid you will cum inside her mouth and/or on her face and she is repulsed by the thought of tasting your cum? It would not be a deal breaker for me, just think I would try extra hard to come up with somer creative ideas of introducing it into your sex life...
12/29/2011
Contributor: Rossie Rossie
Your friends KNOW you don't get BJ from your wife??? Why in the world would you share that with your friends? If I'm your wife, I'll be so embarrassed by it.

My husband loves it when I do BJ on him, but he doesn't need it every time before we have sex. On the other hand, he does oral on me EVERY time, without my asking. Does your wife like you doing oral on her, or is she totally not into oral sex?
12/29/2011
Contributor: Ghost Ghost
It wasn't a dealbreaker for my husband. I made it clear from the time we started dating that I hate giving blowjobs (I don't like oral sex performed on me, either, for the most part). He didn't care and he still tries to perform oral sex on me, although I generally find it boring and weird.
12/30/2011
Contributor: LilLostLenore LilLostLenore
I love giving and receiving oral sex.
12/30/2011
Contributor: prttynink prttynink
Is the sex awesome otherwise? If so, then this really shouldn't be a factor. I am pro bj myself, but even if i wasn't, I'd come up with other ways to keep my partner interested and intrigued. Sex is multi-faceted, not everything does it for everyone, but everyone's got something that does it for them.
12/30/2011
Contributor: Rawhide Rawhide
In this day and age, oral sex comes standard. If it became apparent in the early stages of a relationship that a prospective partner is not nor would ever be into oral sex (recieving or performing), but we worked in every other way, it wouldn't be a dealbreaker as long as there is the understanding that I would get it elsewhere.

It's the combination of no oral sex + monogamy that would be the real dealbreaker. No matter how great the relationship is, it would still suffer under a sad cloud of "being with me means no more oral ever".
12/30/2011
Contributor: SexyStuff SexyStuff
Not a dealbreaker in our relationship, thankfully! But it is an area we are working on.
12/30/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
I'm not big on giving oral, and because of that I never expect to receive it because it's not fair for one party to demand it but not reciprocate, at least in my mind. My last boyfriend tried to guilt me over it because I was feeling experimental one time and gave him one and he loved it and wanted it all the time, but never wanted to go down on me. I told him that it didn't work that way, and he just tried to tell me how unfair it was that I wouldn't give him head. My husband knew going into it that I wasn't big on giving or getting oral, but he loves to give it so I lay back and enjoy it when he feels like giving. He'll never turn it down if I want to give him a BJ, but he doesn't expect them ever either.
12/30/2011
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
It's def. not a deal breaker for me. I'm admittedly not a fan of getting them. They're nice and all, but in the range of foreplay for me.
12/30/2011
Contributor: Hallmar82 Hallmar82
Honesty is the best policy. If it is a deal breaker for you, then there's no helping it. Since you're married, it's obviously not a big deal. I was tell her to respect your wishes just as she would respect yours. If she doesn't want to give blowjobs for you, then how can she expect you to give her one if you don't want to?
12/30/2011
Contributor: toxie m toxie m
It wouldn't be a dealbreaker, but it would be a disappointment. I'm not huge on receiving oral, but it is nice to at least have the option.
12/30/2011
Contributor: averageguyextrodinarypleasure averageguyextrodinarypleasure
Wouldn't be a deal breaker but I would be sad
12/30/2011
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Rod Ronald
My wife does not give blow jobs...she hates them. It's not them I'm not clean or anything like that, she just doesn't like to. It's a pretty well known fact in my close circle of friends and it gets brought up on occasion at parties ... more
She is your WIFE. You signed onto a relationship knowing what she would or would not do. Everyone has their parameters and their likes and dislikes. It does not matter what anyone things, as long as the relationship works for YOU both. Period. It is NO ONES business to criticize.

I happen to "love" orally pleasuring my hubby and frankly he enjoys it too (go figure), but I have a girlfriend who feels exactly as your wife does, that it is "demeaning" and she and I just don't discuss matters like that anymore, since there is no reason for anyone to feel bad about how they feel.

Would it be a "deal breaker" for either of us? Probably....but that is US. That is the entire point. It was OBVIOUSLY not a "deal breaker" for you...so ENJOY all the good things you DO have, quit informing your "friends" about it and MOVE ON.

12/30/2011
Contributor: dv8 dv8
It's a deal breaker for me. If a woman doesn't like oral sex, she probably isn't kinky enough in general.
12/30/2011
Contributor: married with children married with children
its not a deal breaker, but it does go both ways. And I dont understand why you would share that info with your friends. Seems kind of personal to me.
12/31/2011
Contributor: cmm cmm
It's certainly a dealbreaker for me. If she won't preform oral then theres probably a lot more that she wont do.
01/01/2012
Contributor: Indigo Morada Indigo Morada
Vanilla sex is not my bag
01/01/2012
Contributor: Doah Doah
Not at all, I don't mind at all.
01/03/2012
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by Rod Ronald
My wife does not give blow jobs...she hates them. It's not them I'm not clean or anything like that, she just doesn't like to. It's a pretty well known fact in my close circle of friends and it gets brought up on occasion at parties ... more
OMG! I am in the same boat with my partner! I'm female by the way. Wow, it's really nice to hear this from another male's side. My partner, he doesn't really just love oral like I do. Anytime I've ever offfered it he ends up just wanting to get straight to sex instead of "wasting time on head." I've done it before, but he takes forever to finish (lol) and doesn't find it as thrilling as sex. He says he really doesn't care if I don't do it. Or maybe I'm just terrible at it? Lol. Nah, surely not?

Anyways, so you really don't mind that your wife doesn't do it? We catch hell all the time, the same way you said y'all do! It gets so old and it hurts my feelings to hear people say he should leave me over something we think is petty. I mean it's not like I don't make up for it in other areas. He LIKES performing oral so I don't have to ask for it and feel guilty for that. Most people freak when they hear that. He always explains that it's stupid to get upset over not getting any kind of sex.

So, apparently my partner (male) feels the same way you do. He doesn't think it's something worth leaving someone over. Just curious, do you ever feel upset that she doesn't do it?
01/03/2012