The New Intimacy

Stress and Sexual Style

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Contributor: Polyserena Polyserena
Just wondering how stress affects your sexual style.

Do you need it slow and tender, or do you perhaps need a little more kink than usual? Do you become submissive or dominant, or even like rougher play? Maybe you need a good massage first to relax?
09/02/2010
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Contributor: Polyserena Polyserena
From my perspective my sex drive generally goes down during times of stress, except sometimes when I'm really emotionally charged. When I'm stressed and emotional I'm at the point where I just have to let go and I come more easily, but I'm always really submissive.

But when it's low level constant stress and I still have things to do I really think I need more of a distracting sex like kinky sex or spanking to keep me in the moment and stop me stressing about things I've gotta do.
09/02/2010
Contributor: Persephone's Addiction Persephone's Addiction
I've found out that when I'm stressed out, I want sex more than when I'm not. I tend to find comfort in other people - I don't like being alone when I'm in a bad mood. Physical contact makes me feel better and when I'm stressed out, sex serves the same purpose that I imagine cuddling does for some other women. Sex is intense cuddling. lol
As for the kind of sex, I tend to want to cut out all the foreplay, all the teasing, I just need a good cervix pounding. I don't even want oral. Don't know why!
09/02/2010
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
When I'm particularly stressed, it tends to make me not particularly interested in sex for myself, but still more than willing to please him. So he gets a lot of handjobs and blowjobs when I've had a couple of bad days at work or something like that.
09/02/2010
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
For me, masturbation is a stress reliever but under too much stress I am rarely into giving to my partner.
A good physical workout also helps me; yoga or kickboxing and then sex, if possible...
09/02/2010
Contributor: BJismyname BJismyname
when i'm stressed it just doesn't happen. i mean, if it's a long day at work and i come home wiped etc maybe but when stress hits in earnest, sex is usually the last thing on my mind.

and the first thing that helps lol. leave it to my bf to make that happen. he's too good to me
09/02/2010
Contributor: Alicia Alicia
When I'm stressed the type of sex itself can vary but it's usually my husband who will initiate when I am stressed. He knows it relaxes me and allows me to release the stress, but also knows that I don't normally initiate if I am stressed because I tend to allow my stress to consume me until I am snapped out of it.
09/02/2010
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
When I'm stressed sex or masturbation definitely help distract and calm me.

My wife on the other hand tends to avoid sex when she's stressed. Her stress is generally accompanied by a loss of sleep - and sex just aggravates that issue.
09/02/2010