I don't orgasm easily or quickly either the first time or any subsequent time.

I think the best thing you can do is not to compare yourself to other women, but to take the time to figure out how to make the best of the orgasms you've got. I spent so much time hung up on not having orgasms according to what I thought were the "right" activities or on the "right" time scale that I often came away from sex unhappy with my self and my partner, and still frustrated. Now that I have a partner who is willing to work with me to figure out how I reach orgasm most consistently in a partnered situation (as opposed to "Hey, I stuck my face between your legs for 20 minutes, it's not my fault you haven't had an orgasm yet! I'm done!") I have a lot more fun and consistently come away satisfied. Figure out how to have the most fun with what you've got!

I see nothing not normal here. I would think that the second one would actually be more difficult to achieve seeing as how you've gotten everything excited, peaked it, and worn it out. Women need some down time between orgasms too generally, just like the men do. And I realize that not every woman might need any down time, but a lot do. If I have more than one orgasm during sex, all were achieved using a vibrator while having sex, and the first one is the only one I don't have to go out of my way to get.

So I agree with Sara that the best thing you can do is not compare yourself to other women because every woman is so different in what is 'normal' for them. Just work with what you've got because while you generally can't change it, you can always make it better

I'd agree that everyone is different, and it depends on a lot of things.

For me, the first one usually takes a while. Sometimes close to 45 minutes. Any after that take about 30 seconds, as long as we keep going. I'd love to have the first one come a lot sooner.

I agree with EffinSara and Jul!a - just figure out how to have fun with how your body works

I agree with the above. Don't compare yourself to others, the so called "norm' has a wide range. I need an orgasm prior to penitration and can then have at least one more. My b/f says I am a high maintenance girl, sexually. Toys are a major asset for me.

I absolutely agree with the others. Every woman is different and responds to different things. If anything, getting worked up over not being able to orgasm is the worst thing you could do. Just relax and don't think about it.

Personally, I am all set with one good orgasm. I get really tired after my first, so I very rarely have a second one. But my boyfriend likes to make me orgasm before we start penetrative sex, so we're not always on the same page as far as that. Now that I think of it, we should probably talk about that... I digress.

I have yet to achieve multiples -- I need at least half an hour of recovery time between. But I do understand what you mean -- it seems like most sex educators/writers talk multiple orgasms in that way.

lol liz your boyfriend thinks your high maintance? me and my boyfriend have worked out is i get the penatrative orgasm first since thats the easier of them and then after i cum he will use his hand or go down on me if he uses his hand(like usual) then after that he will go down on me and get me a third.

it can just be frustrating becuase i read alot of books,talk to alot of women about this stuff and ive always heard afterthe first one all the others afterward are sooo easy to get lol and for me i usually orgasm within a few minutes and then it used to be i would have to lie there for the next 2 hours waiting for him to get done and i didnt like being the mood kill of coarse weve worked this out but i still wish it were easier.

I am stuck on the "I can lift one pound dumbbells with my vagina" part. That is amazing!