How is it possible for a woman to enjoy sex but never have an orgasm?

Contributor: Im'DLytFull Im'DLytFull
I was asked this the other day and in my option, Pleasure is pleasure! Who cares what label it has? If sex is good without the orgasm, then why worry? But what do you think??
11/28/2010
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Contributor: mandybeth mandybeth
Quote:
Originally posted by Im'DLytFull
I was asked this the other day and in my option, Pleasure is pleasure! Who cares what label it has? If sex is good without the orgasm, then why worry? But what do you think??
I like sex without an orgasm too, but it makes me frustrated not to cum..i need to be taken care of soon or i start to get grouchy. I cant help it, i just feel soooo unfulfilled.
11/28/2010
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
I find that for women, it's more than just the getting off (which is also wonderful but isn't in an end in itself), it's the closeness and intimacy that sex offers as well. Women are less goal-oriented towards sex than men are (or those who identify with those mindsets). The fact that we have the skin contact and the participation and the fun of being close makes the orgasm just the icing on the cake - a bonus. Of course there are lots of us who also enjoy the orgasm. It's just not the SOLE REASON for having sex.

(Of course, I speak from 6+ months celibacy, so I've forgotten much of it. I do want it again, no matter if climax is involved or not. I need the presence of a participant with their enthusiasm and warmth. It's more fun.)
11/28/2010
Contributor: celibacysucks celibacysucks
Other than one partner, I've never been able to orgasm from straight sex alone. Which means, unless may partner made an effort to get me off before we had sex, I wouldn't O. I still rather enjoyed the act, and would happily do it again.
11/30/2010
Contributor: Pleasure Piratess Pleasure Piratess
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
I find that for women, it's more than just the getting off (which is also wonderful but isn't in an end in itself), it's the closeness and intimacy that sex offers as well. Women are less goal-oriented towards sex than men are (or those ... more
Well said Chilipepper!
The entire act of sex is pleasureable. The kissing, the holding, the feelings of being stimulated. Orgasm is wonderful, but I wouldn't stop having sex if I was unable to orgasm.
11/30/2010
Contributor: pinkzombie pinkzombie
Quote:
Originally posted by Im'DLytFull
I was asked this the other day and in my option, Pleasure is pleasure! Who cares what label it has? If sex is good without the orgasm, then why worry? But what do you think??
Sex is good for me with no orgasm. I like the filling feeling and the entire act up to the O
12/09/2010
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
I usually never really had many orgasms during sex. I had a friend that told me that she could orgasm 3 times easily during sex. I was so shocked! I thought there might be something wrong with me bcs I orgasmed only sometimes.

I orgasm more easily now and I'm likely to orgasm 7 out of 9 times that we make love. It has gotten easier lately, not sure why. I don't have to reach orgasm though. If I am really badly turned on and need the release but don't get it during sex, I will masturbate afterwards and ask my bf to look at me as I orgasm. Honestly though, I don't need to orgasm. My partner always tries to make it happen, and I see it isn't going to work, I let him go for his.
12/09/2010
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
If you had to orgasm before sex became pleasurable then no one would have sex, because they never would have learned about it.

Sex feels great, and sex with orgasm is the super-deluxe version, but they're all fun.
12/09/2010
Contributor: hornypoet69 hornypoet69
I'm actually a guy, who has enjoyed sexual experiences without orgasm. Most of the time there is one, but I can think of one instance where I was with a guy and there was nudity and touching, but no orgasm. And I enjoyed myself plenty. Sometimes working towards orgasm can get frustrating, especially if it's taking a long time. I'd much rather just enjoy the kissing and body contact, and not worry about getting off (though it's nice when it happens)
12/29/2010
Contributor: Woman China Woman China
I agree with Chilipepper... sex with or without an orgasm is good!!! Sex is about the closeness to another person, and it is amazing to feel his body against mine. But sometimes, I just cannot orgasm from what he is doing. But that doesn't mean I would give up having sex with him just because my body/mind won't work together and let me orgasm.

I usually find it very difficult to orgasm while having sex. My partners learnt this- and usually they would take on the challenge of trying to make me cum. I love the sensations and the feelings, but more often than not, he finishes and I am glowing from the attention but not always from an orgasm. I do take matters into my own hands and let him watch as I finish... which a lot of them have enjoyed just as much, as they get all the fun and a show afterwards!!! (but.. we;ll save the responses from some of the men regarding a woman using toys for another day!!!)
01/12/2011
Contributor: M121212 M121212
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
I find that for women, it's more than just the getting off (which is also wonderful but isn't in an end in itself), it's the closeness and intimacy that sex offers as well. Women are less goal-oriented towards sex than men are (or those ... more
Well said.


Also... well.... I know that I could stand for longer love making sessions. I was reading the Kama Sutra a few years ago. There's one part that talks about how women tend to take a long time to work up to that first orgasm, but each one afterwards can come gradually faster and faster. Conversely, men take less time to come at first, but each subsequent one takes longer and longer.

This got me thinking about laying around in harems, being pleasured for hours and hours, likely with multiple partners... I wonder if other women can relate: That lovemaking time that precludes or trumps orgasm... Maybe that's a starting point in a longer process. It is quite delightful in itself, yes, and if prolonged can lead to heightened passion and orgasms. I think if we took our time with this we could tease out some really rooted and intensified passion. Maybe what we think of as "sex" is simply on a shorter time scale than what it could be.
01/27/2011
Contributor: zeebot zeebot
Sex is fun! And orgasms are awesome! Sex without orgasming is still fun.
01/27/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
Quote:
Originally posted by ScottA
If you had to orgasm before sex became pleasurable then no one would have sex, because they never would have learned about it.

Sex feels great, and sex with orgasm is the super-deluxe version, but they're all fun.
I totally agree with this!

I love the feeling of sex, with or without the orgasm. The friction, the feeling of fullness, all the stimulating touches... it's all awesome. The orgasm is just the icing on the cake!
01/27/2011