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Totally new to bondage - advice would be appreciated

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Contributor: Lover Lover
Totally new to bondage...
Can anyone give me a run through on the following;

1. Best options with ball gags. We have tried a silicone one, but it is a little tough on the jaw. Are there softer ones around?

2. We are a couple that are only into the light bondage scene. Tying up, gags, blindfold and use of toys. We feel a bit out of our league on what to do and wondered what other couples typically do (no need to be too explicit if you don't feel comfortable sharing). What positions, how long, how do you set the mood? With tying up, we aren't into the rope thing. Just satin ties or padded hand cuffs. Oh and we aren't into anything too rough or degrading.

I hope this isn't an odd thing to ask, but we are genuinely interested in knowing what other couples do, so that we can consider and see what may work for us.

Thanks very much and we look forward to a decent discussion.
06/15/2019
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Contributor: Leil@ Leil@
(EdenFantasys)
Quote:
Originally posted by Lover
Totally new to bondage...
Can anyone give me a run through on the following;

1. Best options with ball gags. We have tried a silicone one, but it is a little tough on the jaw. Are there softer ones around?

2. We are a couple that ... more
Using bondage and restraints of any kind is a great way to add a little kink to your sex life. But it would be great to understand what your and your partner preferences are. An open conversation to set what things you want and will to try and what you wouldn't is very important for safe and pleasant play. Also, it won't be redundant to know what your experience and interest level are. When my partner and I saw a sex swing for the first time, we were pretty much excited about an idea to try it asap. We immediately bought it and hurry to the bedroom... and then didn't know what to do with it, because we both were new and unprepared to all BDSM stuff So we had to put swings aside for the better times and pick simpler items That's why I understand your confusion about choosing bondage very well!
I would suggest starting with something light, simple, smooth and adjustable.

1. In fact, silicone gags usually are quite soft and recommended for beginners. The reason why you were uncomfortable with yours may be the unsuitable size of it. Try gag of smaller size or different shape. For example, Breathable ball gag or Bone gag. Silky bit gag could be a perfect choice due to its softness and small size.

Also, explore our amazing guide on choosing a mouth gag

2. Concerning positions and setting the mood, it's all about your imagination. You'll never know what works the best for you until you try. For inspiration dive in tips for using sex furniture and guide for erotic spanking.
To learn more about BDSM play, you may read this wonderful introductory guide

Sorry for such a long post! I hope it was helpful!
06/18/2019
Contributor: Lover Lover
Thanks so much for the post and it wasn't too long at all. I will re read what you wrote and also check out the links. Thanks!
With our situation, we are both on the same page. We are only into bedroom bon dage as in tie up, with a gag and a blindfold. That is about as far as we want to go. I guess I am the dominant one, so at this stage I just tie her up and play with her. I use toys on her and just have a great time in a way that we both love.
With ball gags, the sizes can be hard to work out. We may have one that is too large. Is there a preferred type that people use and recommend?
With our bon dage scenes, I feel so clunky, awkward and embarrassed. Whats the knack with making the whole experience more chilled, sensual and erotic? I am sure a newbie and keep pinching myself that she likes being tied up and gagged. Huge turn on, but at the same time I feel all awkward and embarrassed.
I often wonder how do couples set the wheels in motion for an evening of bon dage too...
06/19/2019
Contributor: Lover Lover
Quote:
Originally posted by Leil@
Using bondage and restraints of any kind is a great way to add a little kink to your sex life. But it would be great to understand what your and your partner preferences are. An open conversation to set what things you want and will to try and what ... more
Thank you again!
06/19/2019
Contributor: Leil@ Leil@
(EdenFantasys)
Quote:
Originally posted by Lover
Thanks so much for the post and it wasn't too long at all. I will re read what you wrote and also check out the links. Thanks!
With our situation, we are both on the same page. We are only into bedroom bon dage as in tie up, with a gag and a ... more
It was my pleasure! If you need any more help, let me know

I guess it is natural to feel awkwardness if you are a newbie. More confidence comes with more experience. Especially since you both on the same page and both enjoy bondage scenes.

I think you just need to relax and let your fears and concerns go. You do nothing wrong or bad until you both take pleasure in this play. There may happen some embarrassing moments; just laugh at them and go on. This is not the end of the world. We had a lot of such moments with that swing

Everyone's preferences concerning any product including gags are different. You have to pass through trial and efforts to find what will be the most suitable for you. The silicone material is often recommended for beginners due to its softness, safety and ease of maintenance. And size really matters here.
06/20/2019
Contributor: Thelovelysexxto1 Thelovelysexxto1
Quote:
Originally posted by Lover
Totally new to bondage...
Can anyone give me a run through on the following;

1. Best options with ball gags. We have tried a silicone one, but it is a little tough on the jaw. Are there softer ones around?

2. We are a couple that ... more
My husband and I enjoy bdsm. We sometimes foreplay along with melting the body candles on us and just having fun. There are smaller gags you can get thats kinda shaped like a bone.

We light candles, take a massage candle thats called so horny or sometimes we use Kama Surta's candles. We play love music and I get my toys out and we just have fun.

We sometimes doggy style, sideways,missionary, and try different kind of ways and we just do whats comfortable for us.
07/14/2019
Contributor: UnknownSoldier UnknownSoldier
Quote:
Originally posted by Thelovelysexxto1
My husband and I enjoy bdsm. We sometimes foreplay along with melting the body candles on us and just having fun. There are smaller gags you can get thats kinda shaped like a bone.

We light candles, take a massage candle thats called so horny ... more
Whatever makes fun is allowed. My wife and I stumbled upon BDSM porn a few years ago and I honestly did not understand the thrill. But that's because I was just too extreme BDSM. If you go softer just like you guys did, with blindfolds, bound to the bed and small whips, it can be a lot of fun.

Personally, we did not read any guides on "how to use" special gear, but as time goes by we just tried a few more things and while we are still not at the extreme end where we were introduced to bondage - but we enhanced.
08/18/2019
Contributor: JRockitt JRockitt
She was not liking the idea of being gagged at all. Once when she was restrained, though, I strapped a smaller gag with holes all over it, and it wasn't a problem. It turned out that she was afraid of not being able to breathe! Once she realized she could, her fears were gone, and now any kind of gag is fine.
We just played at tying her to the corners of the bed, face up, while I teased and ravaged her. I recently surprised her by tying myself the same way and letting her find me. She didn't like tying knots, I learned, but she enjoyed my situation for some time ( me, too!) and now we're looking at leather cuffs she can use and avoid knotting ropes.
10/08/2019